So the other day I got in my car and went to my friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart in order to exchange some cash monies for physical supplies, and guess what I found when I got back out to the parking lot. No really, go ahead and guess. Did you guess a dent in the hood the size of a small dinner plate? Well you are correct!
Somebody jumped on my car! There were a couple of slightly dusty footprints, and that is how I know how my car happened to have its hood molested!
Somebody jumped on my car! How can you jump on somebody's car unintentionally? The answer: You can't! Jumping on something as big as a Toyota Corolla is, as a general rule, a premeditated action. Who says to themselves, "I believe that I will leap upon the bonnet of this automobile that is not under my ownership."?
There is a slight chance that whoever did it did not realize that they caused damage, but I imagine it probably went more like this:
"Ah f**k dude! You dented it! Hahaha! Nobody saw so let's get inside and get that Blue Moon and Cheez Whiz that we came here for!"
Human Race, I have a serious problem with you! Consider yourself on notice!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Watermark...
As of today I have passed both the marks of 75 chapters and 50,000 words for Knowing Andrew. The story line isn't anywhere near being finished, but whenever it is, as of this point, it will be my first novel-sized work. I couldn't be more pleased. Writing it has been an absolute blast.
I remember back to last year when I was all like "I've written 12 chapters for KA and I'm just so proud of myself!" So long ago. So young. So naive...
I remember back to last year when I was all like "I've written 12 chapters for KA and I'm just so proud of myself!" So long ago. So young. So naive...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Of all the things...
Many things happened this weekend that are worth talking about. I will now talk about them.
On Friday I got the album Back to the Light by Brian May in the mail, and it is fantastic. I’m trying to think of my favorite track on it, but...it’s just so hard. Let’s go this route: My least favorite of the 13 is I’m Scared, but that’s not really saying much, because I like it too. It’s just a really awesome bunch of songs/music. May does the vocals and plays the great majority of the instruments for the album, with the late, great Cozy Powell on drums. He um, he wasn't dead when they recorded it...
Anyway, the album consists of ten songs and two instrumentals, all but one of which are May originals, with collaboration on music for three of them. The last song on the album is a bonus remix track. I'm still trying to decide on a favorite and it just doesn't seem to be happening. I don't think I can make that call.
All in all, unquestionably a great album. May is an absolute virtuoso. And also apparently Moses for a short while in his younger day...
On Saturday I helped re-pot and move a ten-foot tall fig tree. I also trimmed back the dead branches and twigs and helped clean off the dust and whatnot that had settled on the leaves. I learned some valuable things about how to keep trees alive indoors whilst in conversation with Ms. Kay, whom I was helping. I'm quite interested in plant biology and cultivation and I’ve wanted to grow a tree for some time now, so it was a very educational and interesting experience for me.
I also went to the 36th Annual Indiana Fiddlers’ Gathering over in Battle Ground on Saturday with some friends to hear some bluegrass/folk music, and it was quite a blast. An interesting sub-community to be sure. My favorite band consisted of three guys who played acoustic swing with a fiddle, a guitar, and a string bass. They were awesome. All three of them just real masters with their instruments, and I highly approved of the song style. They were Aaron Weinstein (violin), Frank Vignola (guitar), and Jim Cox (bass). Should you ever get a chance to hear them, I recommend it.
The sunset over the trees in the glen was gorgeous, and the weather great for such an occasion. For a bit, later in the night, it looked like it was about to rain, but then the clouds cleared and you could see the stars above the clearing, with the Big Dipper dead center. It was very nice.
By far though, the best part of Saturday was when The Foghorn Stringband (whom I didn’t really like that much) paused for a couple of seconds between songs during their set and some guy sitting a ways behind me yelled out “Freebird!!!” I smiled first, because of the setting, and then I laughed out loud when it suddenly struck me that this was a man that was not at all connected with SOG, Benji, or I, and he was yelling for Freebird at a bluegrass festival. Even if I had not enjoyed anything else about the evening, that pretty much just made the whole thing worth it.
On Friday I got the album Back to the Light by Brian May in the mail, and it is fantastic. I’m trying to think of my favorite track on it, but...it’s just so hard. Let’s go this route: My least favorite of the 13 is I’m Scared, but that’s not really saying much, because I like it too. It’s just a really awesome bunch of songs/music. May does the vocals and plays the great majority of the instruments for the album, with the late, great Cozy Powell on drums. He um, he wasn't dead when they recorded it...
Anyway, the album consists of ten songs and two instrumentals, all but one of which are May originals, with collaboration on music for three of them. The last song on the album is a bonus remix track. I'm still trying to decide on a favorite and it just doesn't seem to be happening. I don't think I can make that call.
All in all, unquestionably a great album. May is an absolute virtuoso. And also apparently Moses for a short while in his younger day...
On Saturday I helped re-pot and move a ten-foot tall fig tree. I also trimmed back the dead branches and twigs and helped clean off the dust and whatnot that had settled on the leaves. I learned some valuable things about how to keep trees alive indoors whilst in conversation with Ms. Kay, whom I was helping. I'm quite interested in plant biology and cultivation and I’ve wanted to grow a tree for some time now, so it was a very educational and interesting experience for me.
I also went to the 36th Annual Indiana Fiddlers’ Gathering over in Battle Ground on Saturday with some friends to hear some bluegrass/folk music, and it was quite a blast. An interesting sub-community to be sure. My favorite band consisted of three guys who played acoustic swing with a fiddle, a guitar, and a string bass. They were awesome. All three of them just real masters with their instruments, and I highly approved of the song style. They were Aaron Weinstein (violin), Frank Vignola (guitar), and Jim Cox (bass). Should you ever get a chance to hear them, I recommend it.
The sunset over the trees in the glen was gorgeous, and the weather great for such an occasion. For a bit, later in the night, it looked like it was about to rain, but then the clouds cleared and you could see the stars above the clearing, with the Big Dipper dead center. It was very nice.
By far though, the best part of Saturday was when The Foghorn Stringband (whom I didn’t really like that much) paused for a couple of seconds between songs during their set and some guy sitting a ways behind me yelled out “Freebird!!!” I smiled first, because of the setting, and then I laughed out loud when it suddenly struck me that this was a man that was not at all connected with SOG, Benji, or I, and he was yelling for Freebird at a bluegrass festival. Even if I had not enjoyed anything else about the evening, that pretty much just made the whole thing worth it.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Run for the hills...
I am extremely angry right at this moment. So much so that my stomach is aching. I ran across a link to an article on the Poles whilst going through the Yahoo nexus, and thinking that it would be a quick and interesting read, followed it. Unfortunately, I never got to reading the actual article. The first thing that came up was the title and short blurb for the article with another link to get to the body. Right below that were the comments that people had left. I read the first page of them before closing the whole thing in disgust and rage.
These types of comments can be neatly placed in four distinct categories. Ehem:
First you have the people who are intelligent enough to do a bit of research, know what they're talking about, and, *gasp*, actually give a rat's left buttock about what's going on in the world around them.
Then you have your folks who seem to want what's best, but don't really know what's going on. (aka They've watched a Michael Moore film, and that's all the research they need. Those would be the good-hearted "OMG! The polar bears are gonna die!" people.)
Thirdly are the people who are sceptical, which in and of itself is a good thing. Except that they don't follow up on that scepticism. They just sort of hang neutral, spreading their non-opinions around like slow-churned, low trans-fat, heart-healthy, butter substitute product, and basically just convoluting things as much as they can whenever possible.
And lastly (my absolute favorite in all the whole wide freakin' world!), there are the imbeciles that blatantly ignore facts, turn their backs on research, shun simple observation skills, and then go around preaching their strongly held, sarcasm laden, pseudo-scientific "findings" with all the determination of Al Sharpton at the annual CivCon! I'm talking about the type of person that would defend strip mining the Alaskan tundra with their life if they thought they heard Rush Limbaugh say that it would be a good idea one morning whilst they were driving to work in their Ford Expedition. It is these people that absolutely kill any faith in humanity that I happen to have picked up in between times!
I cannot stand willful ignorance, particularly when it is combined with arrogance. Of course, I guess when some people get an idea caught between the only two brain cells that they have floating around in their skulls, it can be kind of hard to knock it loose again.
*Primal scream* Use your brains, people!!!
... ... My stomach doesn't hurt anymore...
These types of comments can be neatly placed in four distinct categories. Ehem:
First you have the people who are intelligent enough to do a bit of research, know what they're talking about, and, *gasp*, actually give a rat's left buttock about what's going on in the world around them.
Then you have your folks who seem to want what's best, but don't really know what's going on. (aka They've watched a Michael Moore film, and that's all the research they need. Those would be the good-hearted "OMG! The polar bears are gonna die!" people.)
Thirdly are the people who are sceptical, which in and of itself is a good thing. Except that they don't follow up on that scepticism. They just sort of hang neutral, spreading their non-opinions around like slow-churned, low trans-fat, heart-healthy, butter substitute product, and basically just convoluting things as much as they can whenever possible.
And lastly (my absolute favorite in all the whole wide freakin' world!), there are the imbeciles that blatantly ignore facts, turn their backs on research, shun simple observation skills, and then go around preaching their strongly held, sarcasm laden, pseudo-scientific "findings" with all the determination of Al Sharpton at the annual CivCon! I'm talking about the type of person that would defend strip mining the Alaskan tundra with their life if they thought they heard Rush Limbaugh say that it would be a good idea one morning whilst they were driving to work in their Ford Expedition. It is these people that absolutely kill any faith in humanity that I happen to have picked up in between times!
I cannot stand willful ignorance, particularly when it is combined with arrogance. Of course, I guess when some people get an idea caught between the only two brain cells that they have floating around in their skulls, it can be kind of hard to knock it loose again.
*Primal scream* Use your brains, people!!!
... ... My stomach doesn't hurt anymore...
Friday, June 27, 2008
Desperation...
~ Churning, writhing,
destroying from the inside.
Is there no stopping it?
Killing me slowly, quietly,
like a horrid disease.
No cure for this one.
They say chin up.
Tomorrow is a new day.
But I know,
it will come back.
When I'm lying in the dark,
contemplating.
It approaches,
silently through the night,
slipping into me,
over me,
covering me,
choking me,
like a curse,
only more painful.
When will it end?
Maybe never. ~
~From the mind of Renee
destroying from the inside.
Is there no stopping it?
Killing me slowly, quietly,
like a horrid disease.
No cure for this one.
They say chin up.
Tomorrow is a new day.
But I know,
it will come back.
When I'm lying in the dark,
contemplating.
It approaches,
silently through the night,
slipping into me,
over me,
covering me,
choking me,
like a curse,
only more painful.
When will it end?
Maybe never. ~
~From the mind of Renee
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
Sound in silence...
Cut off, I'm left to wander.
Roaming the wasteland, looking for something.
Looking for peace of mind maybe.
Cut off by actions and lack thereof.
I had a hand in my isolation.
My loneliness is partially by my doing.
Cut off by silence.
And not just my own.
Is there anyone out there?
Roaming the wasteland, looking for something.
Looking for peace of mind maybe.
Cut off by actions and lack thereof.
I had a hand in my isolation.
My loneliness is partially by my doing.
Cut off by silence.
And not just my own.
Is there anyone out there?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Being greeted by friends in a strange house...
Peace: "Hey."
Lauren: "Hey."
Angel Hair: "Hey."
Kamikaze: "Kitty!"
Lauren: "Hey."
Angel Hair: "Hey."
Kamikaze: "Kitty!"
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Along the way...
So some of you probably know that I am in ENGL 238 for the first summer module here, which is a bit more than half over incidentally. I love that class and it is just going fantastically well and that makes me very happy. One of the options for the two book projects that we get to do is to write a scene or a chapter from the perspective of a character who is not the narrator of one of the books that we're reading for class. My group chose to do that on a book called Inexcusable for the first of the two projects, and so I wrote a chapter for that that was about 11 pages long (double spaced) and I think it turned out pretty well.
I think maybe what pleased me most about it is that I had some free time at work, so I just sat down at the computer and started typing some stuff up. Two or three years ago, I probably would not have been able to do that. It's one thing to engage in something that you enjoy, quite another to be able to see yourself growing and (hopefully!) improving along the way. I'm not professional caliber by any stretch of the imagination but I do think that my writing has come pretty far and really in a relatively short amount of time. At least it seemed short to me!
One of the things that has changed is that I've reached the point where I am willing to put some of my writing out there. A few years ago I would not have had enough confidence in it (and for good reason!) to present a story to my classmates and offer it for use in a project.
I think starting Aiden was a big step for me because it broke into doing something that I'd never done before, and that was writing something that was not premeditated. I've really grown in that area since then I think. It's been about a year now since I began Aiden's story and I can see definite changes in my writing since then.
Here's to evolution.
I think maybe what pleased me most about it is that I had some free time at work, so I just sat down at the computer and started typing some stuff up. Two or three years ago, I probably would not have been able to do that. It's one thing to engage in something that you enjoy, quite another to be able to see yourself growing and (hopefully!) improving along the way. I'm not professional caliber by any stretch of the imagination but I do think that my writing has come pretty far and really in a relatively short amount of time. At least it seemed short to me!
One of the things that has changed is that I've reached the point where I am willing to put some of my writing out there. A few years ago I would not have had enough confidence in it (and for good reason!) to present a story to my classmates and offer it for use in a project.
I think starting Aiden was a big step for me because it broke into doing something that I'd never done before, and that was writing something that was not premeditated. I've really grown in that area since then I think. It's been about a year now since I began Aiden's story and I can see definite changes in my writing since then.
Here's to evolution.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The Island...
~ I park beneath the Aspen tree that spills over the high, concrete retaining wall. Get out of my car and stand in the parking lot, nearly empty, breathing the damp, rain scented air. Droplets fall on my pad of paper and I feel that I could stay here forever.
Around me the sounds of traffic, behind me I hear a door open and a janitor beat the dust from a push broom. The droplets fall faster, bleeding the ink, wetting my hair. This should be uncomfortable. This should feel awkward.
The wind makes the branches above me, newly green with the fresh verdance of early summer, dip and sway. The Aspen, the touch of nature here, dances with the wind.
The rain falls harder.
The damp paper rues ink. ~
~ From the life of Renee
Around me the sounds of traffic, behind me I hear a door open and a janitor beat the dust from a push broom. The droplets fall faster, bleeding the ink, wetting my hair. This should be uncomfortable. This should feel awkward.
The wind makes the branches above me, newly green with the fresh verdance of early summer, dip and sway. The Aspen, the touch of nature here, dances with the wind.
The rain falls harder.
The damp paper rues ink. ~
~ From the life of Renee
Monday, May 05, 2008
Inexcusable talent...
http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/share_view/nExJ7BoIbCZFV0g32vxrM0JR
Many thanks to Angel Hair and T. Rex for putting this together, and of course to Stuart for the use of his head.
Many thanks to Angel Hair and T. Rex for putting this together, and of course to Stuart for the use of his head.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Pressing the issue...
I just saw Iron Man, and I have to say, what a fantastic movie! I thought is was great. You should see this movie. I think that it may have found a place in that hallowed "Top 5" list. It is quite awesome. Most definitely worth the price of a ticket to see it on the big screen.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Don't you hate...
...being wrong?
All but one of my final exams are done and over with. Now comes the time of reassuring dread that what is done is done.
I have a few goals for the summer. I'd like to study Spanish every day so I have a bit firmer of a handle on it come Fall semester. I'd like to build up a bit of a backlog of Knowing Andrew chapters so that I won't have to worry about that so much in November (remember that NaNoWriMo goal?) And finally, I'd like to complete Aiden, if possible. And I think that it is possible. I'd also like to run some sleep deprivation experiments, but that's not so much of a goal as a curiosity.
Next summer I think I might like either an internship, or if it's feasible, to go abroad.
This semester has gone by very quickly. Sometimes I feel like my life is slipping away and that I haven't accomplished anything yet. I guess all you can do though, is try to enjoy each day. How sickeningly optimistic, right? I couldn't be a hippie. I like to bathe...
All but one of my final exams are done and over with. Now comes the time of reassuring dread that what is done is done.
I have a few goals for the summer. I'd like to study Spanish every day so I have a bit firmer of a handle on it come Fall semester. I'd like to build up a bit of a backlog of Knowing Andrew chapters so that I won't have to worry about that so much in November (remember that NaNoWriMo goal?) And finally, I'd like to complete Aiden, if possible. And I think that it is possible. I'd also like to run some sleep deprivation experiments, but that's not so much of a goal as a curiosity.
Next summer I think I might like either an internship, or if it's feasible, to go abroad.
This semester has gone by very quickly. Sometimes I feel like my life is slipping away and that I haven't accomplished anything yet. I guess all you can do though, is try to enjoy each day. How sickeningly optimistic, right? I couldn't be a hippie. I like to bathe...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Choose your own hybridized adventure...
So I've been working on some sort of bastardized template for KA so that I can get the best of both the old and the beta versions. It's not going as smoothly as one might hope.
On the lighter side of that subject though, I have completed over 50 chapters of Knowing Andrew, and been working on it (relatively) steadily for over 6 months now. Woo. Somebody pat me on the back.
I was talking with a friend the other day about doing NaNoWriMo this year. Might be a fun challenge. Something to think about.
We went to Michigan, as I said we were going to, and it was awesome. The trip was a blast, the accommodations excellent. Our set got cut by about 50% because a couple of -ehem- bad troupes went overtime with their badness, but we handled it professionally, and got what was left of the audience back after one of those particularly bad troupes finally vacated the stage. But, the two troupes that went after us, they were pure gold. Loved every minute of it. Overall it was just a really fantastic time, lotta group bonding, inside jokes, and all that good stuff that dreams are made of.
~ "Life is good... LGizzle. LGizzle Electrizzle. Fo shizzle!" ~
~ Stu
On the lighter side of that subject though, I have completed over 50 chapters of Knowing Andrew, and been working on it (relatively) steadily for over 6 months now. Woo. Somebody pat me on the back.
I was talking with a friend the other day about doing NaNoWriMo this year. Might be a fun challenge. Something to think about.
We went to Michigan, as I said we were going to, and it was awesome. The trip was a blast, the accommodations excellent. Our set got cut by about 50% because a couple of -ehem- bad troupes went overtime with their badness, but we handled it professionally, and got what was left of the audience back after one of those particularly bad troupes finally vacated the stage. But, the two troupes that went after us, they were pure gold. Loved every minute of it. Overall it was just a really fantastic time, lotta group bonding, inside jokes, and all that good stuff that dreams are made of.
~ "Life is good... LGizzle. LGizzle Electrizzle. Fo shizzle!" ~
~ Stu
Friday, April 11, 2008
Varied...
Today in Spanish I heard one of my classmates assuring another that tripe was a kind of fish.
How are you all getting on nowadays? I'm good. Sweet of you to ask. I've got my classes for next semester lined up, including the PSY 390 that I wanted with Dr. C.'s team, working on his new Pavlovian conditioning theory. Pretty exciting stuff.
We're performing in Michigan this weekend. Livin' the dream.
Spring is fast upon us. Daffodils are in full bloom in the horticulture gardens with the irises and lilies not far to go.
I've attained a new level of geekhood. I am the proud owner of my very own set of polyhedral RPG dice. I made a bag for them and everything. They like me already. I can tell. They're special.
How are you all getting on nowadays? I'm good. Sweet of you to ask. I've got my classes for next semester lined up, including the PSY 390 that I wanted with Dr. C.'s team, working on his new Pavlovian conditioning theory. Pretty exciting stuff.
We're performing in Michigan this weekend. Livin' the dream.
Spring is fast upon us. Daffodils are in full bloom in the horticulture gardens with the irises and lilies not far to go.
I've attained a new level of geekhood. I am the proud owner of my very own set of polyhedral RPG dice. I made a bag for them and everything. They like me already. I can tell. They're special.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Rick Astley 101...
I accidentally found this guy because of an April Fool's Day prank on Youtube. I think he's great! His voice is very unique (and pretty fantastic in my opinion.) Besides, he's a handsome, redhaired, English guy with a cute smile. What's not to like? Here's my favorite song (yeah, I'm a dork, I love it), very catchy (ah that 80's beat!), but I like the humor in the video as well.:
If you liked that, I suggest: Hold Me in Your Arms and Never Gonna Give You Up
If you liked that, I suggest: Hold Me in Your Arms and Never Gonna Give You Up
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
I've decided...
...to stop blogging. I mean, I've been doing this for two years now, and it's really time to grow up and move on. I'm an adult.
Thanks for the good run folks.
Good night...
Thanks for the good run folks.
Good night...
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Quite clearly...
...I am neither an expert in chess, nor the RPGs. Oh no, you say. Oh yes, I maintain.
And I love this site. I just...do: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks
Happy Easter everyone.
And I love this site. I just...do: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks
Happy Easter everyone.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Durable...
During "Spring" Break, my little brother and I spontaneously decided to go sledding in the quickly melting snow. For lack of an actual sled we used the lid of a plastic storage bin. Due to the fact that it was the lid to a plastic storage bin, the front of it wasn't as good for skimming over the snow, so much as digging into the snow. Still, it was the first time I've sledded (slid?) in years, and falling off of our makeshift toboggan was as much fun as the actual sledding.
We also catapulted snowballs into the pond with our makeshift trebuchet (the lid of a plastic storage bin). The dog enjoyed it too.
We also catapulted snowballs into the pond with our makeshift trebuchet (the lid of a plastic storage bin). The dog enjoyed it too.
Reclaimable...
"Imperiously he leaps, he neighs, he bounds,
"And now his woven girts he breaks asunder;
"The bearing earth with his hard hoof he wounds,
"Whose hollow womb resounds like heaven's thunder:
"The iron bit he crushes 'tween his teeth,
"Controlling what he was controlled with.
"His ears up-prick'd, his braided hanging mane
"Upon his compass'd crest, now stands an end;
"His nostrils drink the air, and forth again,
"As from a furnace, vapours doth he send;
"His eye, which glistens scornfully like fire,
"Shews his hot courage, and his high desire.
~William Shakespeare
"And now his woven girts he breaks asunder;
"The bearing earth with his hard hoof he wounds,
"Whose hollow womb resounds like heaven's thunder:
"The iron bit he crushes 'tween his teeth,
"Controlling what he was controlled with.
"His ears up-prick'd, his braided hanging mane
"Upon his compass'd crest, now stands an end;
"His nostrils drink the air, and forth again,
"As from a furnace, vapours doth he send;
"His eye, which glistens scornfully like fire,
"Shews his hot courage, and his high desire.
~William Shakespeare
Thursday, March 06, 2008
The essence of spring...
~ Lavender overflows the verge in a wave of delicate purple. The long buds of orange lilies bask in blissful sunlight atop tall stems, expectant, suspenseful. Will today be the day? Off to the side I find a small patch of tiny daisies, all but hidden among the taller plants. Are they waiting there for me? ~
~ From the life of Renee
As I may or may not have mentioned before, it's already time to register for summer and fall classes here. The class that I am probably the most excited about is Modern Ethical Theories. And as it so happens, I believe that one of my more favorite philosophy professors will be teaching it! Hoorah.
~ "Now don't put too much finger paint on them or it'll just soak right through." ~
~ Stu
~ From the life of Renee
As I may or may not have mentioned before, it's already time to register for summer and fall classes here. The class that I am probably the most excited about is Modern Ethical Theories. And as it so happens, I believe that one of my more favorite philosophy professors will be teaching it! Hoorah.
~ "Now don't put too much finger paint on them or it'll just soak right through." ~
~ Stu
Friday, February 29, 2008
Shameless plug...
Knowing Andrew!
www.KnowingAndrew.blogspot.com
"It has cliffhangers."
Now in new EZ-You-Should-Totally-Read-Knowing-Andrew-View formatting!
www.KnowingAndrew.blogspot.com
"It has cliffhangers."
Now in new EZ-You-Should-Totally-Read-Knowing-Andrew-View formatting!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The Muses sing...
~ Walking home I saw a leaf spinning across the snow, caught in a gust of winter wind.
Out of control, just going along with it. There was really no other option.
It danced and twirled, inseparable from the ecstasy. Pulled into something much bigger, deeper, stronger.
Ineffable. ~
~ From the life of Renee
Out of control, just going along with it. There was really no other option.
It danced and twirled, inseparable from the ecstasy. Pulled into something much bigger, deeper, stronger.
Ineffable. ~
~ From the life of Renee
Monday, February 25, 2008
Imaginary...
So lately we've been going through a lot of case studies and research on the dissociative disorders, the most widely known being of course Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality Disorder as it used to be called). My most recent area of research being the correlation between childhood imaginary companions and the later development of DID alters.
Now it should be stated that basically all documented cases of DID showed absolutely horrific childhood abuse, usually including sexual. But not all abused children develop DID. The question is why? Back to the ICs.
For just about all disorders some predisposition is necessary. Combine that with just the right life stressor, or upbringing, or social position, or etc and "voila!" you have a psychological disorder. There is some evidence that children with DID, or a predisposition towards dissociation, tend to have/had many, enduring, and vivid ICs. The ICs also tend to take on roles beyond that of simple playmates. Typically complex, perhaps some with protector qualities, some even being malevolent in nature.
Now, all that is not to say that any child with lots of imaginary buddies is going to develop DID. Remember the combination thing. Really what this research is looking for are markers. If you find something that across the board points to children that have/will have dissociative disorders, you can identify/treat them. (A lot of adults with DID will suffer years without being properly diagnosed. It is not something that presents itself in an obvious manner, and it is most often accompanied by other disorders that may appear to be foremost, aka depression.) Children typically respond much better than adults to treatment in this particular area, not to mention the fact that if you can catch the process before it fully develops, less damage would be done. Maybe, maybe that child could have a normal life after that.
More research needs to be done.
Now it should be stated that basically all documented cases of DID showed absolutely horrific childhood abuse, usually including sexual. But not all abused children develop DID. The question is why? Back to the ICs.
For just about all disorders some predisposition is necessary. Combine that with just the right life stressor, or upbringing, or social position, or etc and "voila!" you have a psychological disorder. There is some evidence that children with DID, or a predisposition towards dissociation, tend to have/had many, enduring, and vivid ICs. The ICs also tend to take on roles beyond that of simple playmates. Typically complex, perhaps some with protector qualities, some even being malevolent in nature.
Now, all that is not to say that any child with lots of imaginary buddies is going to develop DID. Remember the combination thing. Really what this research is looking for are markers. If you find something that across the board points to children that have/will have dissociative disorders, you can identify/treat them. (A lot of adults with DID will suffer years without being properly diagnosed. It is not something that presents itself in an obvious manner, and it is most often accompanied by other disorders that may appear to be foremost, aka depression.) Children typically respond much better than adults to treatment in this particular area, not to mention the fact that if you can catch the process before it fully develops, less damage would be done. Maybe, maybe that child could have a normal life after that.
More research needs to be done.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Passion rules the games...
Free word association is an interesting concept. I'm gonna do some right now!
Immediately. Eternally. Deity. Power. Knowledge. Education. Pride. Esteem. Self. Autonomy. Emotion. Sensation. Life. Death. Black. Night. Star. Light. Enlightenment. Understanding. Acceptance. Speech. Occasion. Celebration. Joy. Friend. Comfort. Teddy bear. Animal. Love.
Gonna stop there.
How do you feel about anger? A certain amount of anger is a healthy thing. At some point it crosses a line, and that line is of course not in a nameable or permanent place. You also have the other extreme, in which the anger is continually repressed, no better for you in the long run than the former.
I think that there has to be a balance. Naturally that balance is something that each person has to find for themselves, but I think it is there. There's no reason to explode at every little thing, and sometimes you have to just let go of things out of your control (heck, even in your control in some cases). But you also can't live your life denying yourself feelings. It's not always easy to find the balance.
I'm workin' on it.
It. Ebay. Buy. Store. Keep. Retain. Teeth. Dentist. Doctor. Health care. Insurance. Security. Blanket. Warmth...
Immediately. Eternally. Deity. Power. Knowledge. Education. Pride. Esteem. Self. Autonomy. Emotion. Sensation. Life. Death. Black. Night. Star. Light. Enlightenment. Understanding. Acceptance. Speech. Occasion. Celebration. Joy. Friend. Comfort. Teddy bear. Animal. Love.
Gonna stop there.
How do you feel about anger? A certain amount of anger is a healthy thing. At some point it crosses a line, and that line is of course not in a nameable or permanent place. You also have the other extreme, in which the anger is continually repressed, no better for you in the long run than the former.
I think that there has to be a balance. Naturally that balance is something that each person has to find for themselves, but I think it is there. There's no reason to explode at every little thing, and sometimes you have to just let go of things out of your control (heck, even in your control in some cases). But you also can't live your life denying yourself feelings. It's not always easy to find the balance.
I'm workin' on it.
It. Ebay. Buy. Store. Keep. Retain. Teeth. Dentist. Doctor. Health care. Insurance. Security. Blanket. Warmth...
Monday, February 18, 2008
The day I lost you...
~
I feel your heart beat
Strong
Steady
Reassuring
If only I had known
Waiting
Lurking
Diabolical
Tearing you away from me
Pain
Anguish
Isolation
I think it was harder
Darker
Bleaker
Lonlier
For me than for you
Alone
Adrift
Confused
I'm left alive to continue
Persist
Survive
Remain
How could you leave me
Death took your life
And my heart
I'd prefer
Death
~
From the mind of Renee
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Of the sort...
~ I cradle myself and rock back and forth. Robert approaches and puts his arms around me, wrapping me in his comforting warmth.
"Are you okay, baby?" he murmurs into my ear. Tears slip down my face and I try to formulate a response.
"No. It hurts." That's all I can get out. Somehow he understands. Direct connection can do that for you. He holds me tighter.
His shirt is soft against my face and he smells faintly of cedar and spices. His lips brush my neck and I am momentarily distracted from my desire to cry.
His love, more aptly, his empathy, expunges the ache in my heart and it all comes pouring out, bidden or not.
He rubs my back as the silent tears run down, wetting my lips, tasting of salt and grief. I leave them to their fate.
He has no need to speak. He's already said it all without uttering a word. ~
~ From the mind of Renee
I very rarely write in the first person, but I think that sometimes it works. Provides a level of insight that would not otherwise be possible.
"Are you okay, baby?" he murmurs into my ear. Tears slip down my face and I try to formulate a response.
"No. It hurts." That's all I can get out. Somehow he understands. Direct connection can do that for you. He holds me tighter.
His shirt is soft against my face and he smells faintly of cedar and spices. His lips brush my neck and I am momentarily distracted from my desire to cry.
His love, more aptly, his empathy, expunges the ache in my heart and it all comes pouring out, bidden or not.
He rubs my back as the silent tears run down, wetting my lips, tasting of salt and grief. I leave them to their fate.
He has no need to speak. He's already said it all without uttering a word. ~
~ From the mind of Renee
I very rarely write in the first person, but I think that sometimes it works. Provides a level of insight that would not otherwise be possible.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Pride goeth before the ball...
So the 77th annual Purdue Literary Awards are coming up here. Most of the categories are for poetry, and since the only poetry I've ever written has been largely accidental I don't have a huge chance of winning anything.
But, you've got no chance of winning if you don't enter, so I entered the snot outta that competition!
As I said, most categories were for poetry/prose, so I scrounged up a few things that could pass for that. Couple of categories for short stories. I entered some Jared, and chapters 8-12 I think of Knowing Andrew as a stand alone, couple other things. There was actually a category for novel-in-progress, but I just couldn't bring myself to make a definitive outline for the rest of Aiden to go with the 'script. I like that spontaneity too much.
We'll see how all of that goes for me.
But, you've got no chance of winning if you don't enter, so I entered the snot outta that competition!
As I said, most categories were for poetry/prose, so I scrounged up a few things that could pass for that. Couple of categories for short stories. I entered some Jared, and chapters 8-12 I think of Knowing Andrew as a stand alone, couple other things. There was actually a category for novel-in-progress, but I just couldn't bring myself to make a definitive outline for the rest of Aiden to go with the 'script. I like that spontaneity too much.
We'll see how all of that goes for me.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Inconvenient...
~ Pulled aside by the Captain, I was rewarded with the worst possible news. We weren't going anywhere fast and the ship was outfitted with very little foodstuffs, as our journey was not meant to be a protracted one. We were, by necessity, off of the main shipping lines, so we were not likely to see any help soon.
There is no feeling of hopelessness like being stranded on an ocean.
I made my way back to my cabin, past all the clueless people gathered at the rails, just realizing we'd stopped and speculating amongst themselves as to why.
Confining myself to the seclusion of my berth I reviewed our options in my mind. The one thing that I could think of that was downright fortunate was that on board there was quite the military contingent in transport, with full survival gear. That should include some food and potable water, perhaps even a way to convert salt water into drinkable. I made a mental note to check into that.
Being non-conventional military, and not part of the general citizenry I guessed that I was now one of the only free-agents on board. At that point in time the thought gave very little comfort, seeing as we were all, quite literally, "in the same boat".
Several tasks in mind I grabbed a notebook and pen and left my cabin to find the Captain again. He turned out to be on the bridge, looking pensive, as one might expect. I boldly broke into his reverie.
"Captain, I've thought of several things that we should discuss as soon as possible," I said.
"Yes, I have as well, Mr. Cambridge. Shall we fight to decide who should go first?" The captain smiled weakly in an attempt to bolster his little stab at humor. I nodded for him to continue with his thoughts.
"First is the question of when and what to tell the passengers? I think they deserve to know what's going on, and they'll also need to know why everything is rationed, but should we tell them the whole, un-buffered truth?" he said.
I only had to think that one over for a moment.
"Yes. Chances are they'll hear something from the staff anyway. I'd prefer for a few of them to get a little crazy now than to have rumors coursing rampant through the ship later." The Captain nodded.
"Alright, I can see the logic in that. How shall they be told?" he asked of me. I had already considered my answer to that as well.
"You could make a general shipwise announcement for all passengers to return to their cabins, then we could go section to section and explain the situation to smaller groups. That way we might be able to better answer questions and escape the possibility of mass panic." He nodded his agreement again.
"And I can get Misters Cunningham and Farner, the first mate and bursar, to help us with that so we can get through the sections faster," he added. "But I'd like to address all of the crew first though, to alert them of what's happening, as well as so they can go ahead and get a start on some of the necessary tasks. First and foremost being the food and water rationing of course." The Captain had my wholehearted approval there, so we set to immediately... ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Perhaps a bit more on this later. Do you like it?
There is no feeling of hopelessness like being stranded on an ocean.
I made my way back to my cabin, past all the clueless people gathered at the rails, just realizing we'd stopped and speculating amongst themselves as to why.
Confining myself to the seclusion of my berth I reviewed our options in my mind. The one thing that I could think of that was downright fortunate was that on board there was quite the military contingent in transport, with full survival gear. That should include some food and potable water, perhaps even a way to convert salt water into drinkable. I made a mental note to check into that.
Being non-conventional military, and not part of the general citizenry I guessed that I was now one of the only free-agents on board. At that point in time the thought gave very little comfort, seeing as we were all, quite literally, "in the same boat".
Several tasks in mind I grabbed a notebook and pen and left my cabin to find the Captain again. He turned out to be on the bridge, looking pensive, as one might expect. I boldly broke into his reverie.
"Captain, I've thought of several things that we should discuss as soon as possible," I said.
"Yes, I have as well, Mr. Cambridge. Shall we fight to decide who should go first?" The captain smiled weakly in an attempt to bolster his little stab at humor. I nodded for him to continue with his thoughts.
"First is the question of when and what to tell the passengers? I think they deserve to know what's going on, and they'll also need to know why everything is rationed, but should we tell them the whole, un-buffered truth?" he said.
I only had to think that one over for a moment.
"Yes. Chances are they'll hear something from the staff anyway. I'd prefer for a few of them to get a little crazy now than to have rumors coursing rampant through the ship later." The Captain nodded.
"Alright, I can see the logic in that. How shall they be told?" he asked of me. I had already considered my answer to that as well.
"You could make a general shipwise announcement for all passengers to return to their cabins, then we could go section to section and explain the situation to smaller groups. That way we might be able to better answer questions and escape the possibility of mass panic." He nodded his agreement again.
"And I can get Misters Cunningham and Farner, the first mate and bursar, to help us with that so we can get through the sections faster," he added. "But I'd like to address all of the crew first though, to alert them of what's happening, as well as so they can go ahead and get a start on some of the necessary tasks. First and foremost being the food and water rationing of course." The Captain had my wholehearted approval there, so we set to immediately... ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Perhaps a bit more on this later. Do you like it?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Calling all clouds...
Last week I dreamed that I knew Richard Dean Anderson and we had tea together.
This week I dreamed that my 11 year old brother was still a baby and Stu's family came to one of my lectures with me.
Last night I dreamed that Roger Taylor brought a young (but very conscientious) elephant to my house, and it was curious about my horses.
I love my dreams.
This week I dreamed that my 11 year old brother was still a baby and Stu's family came to one of my lectures with me.
Last night I dreamed that Roger Taylor brought a young (but very conscientious) elephant to my house, and it was curious about my horses.
I love my dreams.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
It all started....
...back in the summer of '07. Those were the days. It was hard living, tough times, but we knew the value of a dollar, and we were thankful to dig holes for a living! Eherm. Sorry, got to waxing a bit nostalgic there.
Anyway, last summer Ryan shared a bit of his extensive music collection with me, including several tracks from Queen albums. Since then evolution has taken place and I can honestly say that I believe I have morphed into a pretty hardcore Queen fan.
Big whoop, some of you may be saying, but let me continue. My saying that I am "into" any band is a pretty big deal. Mostly I evaluate music on a song-by-song basis, and the number of bands or artists that I can say I like across the board can be counted on one hand. Less than one hand.
I've not found a Queen song yet that I absolutely can't stand. I like some much more than others, granted, but none that I hate.
I've put a couple of music videos/concert clips into this post for you to watch. And by "a couple" I mean "I've narrowed it down to just six." Hey, don't play down the effort that that took. If you don't like one, go on to the next. That's kind of the beauty of Queen, they pulled off such an amazing range of styles. It helped that their lead singer, Freddie Mercury could sing just about anything and make it sound good.
And the guitarist, Brian May, built his own electric guitar with his dad. That is just awesome. Out of wood from an old mantle. More awsome.
Did you like those? Well of course you did. Here, I've linked a few more for you just because, well, I can:
The Miracle
These Are the Days of Our Lives
One Vision
Don't Stop Me Now
Save Me
I Was Born to Love You
Anyway, now I just need to get a couple of their albums.
And a poster. And a t-shirt. And a calendar...
Thanks Ryan.
~ Me: "Are you-"
~ Kyle: "Yes."
Anyway, last summer Ryan shared a bit of his extensive music collection with me, including several tracks from Queen albums. Since then evolution has taken place and I can honestly say that I believe I have morphed into a pretty hardcore Queen fan.
Big whoop, some of you may be saying, but let me continue. My saying that I am "into" any band is a pretty big deal. Mostly I evaluate music on a song-by-song basis, and the number of bands or artists that I can say I like across the board can be counted on one hand. Less than one hand.
I've not found a Queen song yet that I absolutely can't stand. I like some much more than others, granted, but none that I hate.
I've put a couple of music videos/concert clips into this post for you to watch. And by "a couple" I mean "I've narrowed it down to just six." Hey, don't play down the effort that that took. If you don't like one, go on to the next. That's kind of the beauty of Queen, they pulled off such an amazing range of styles. It helped that their lead singer, Freddie Mercury could sing just about anything and make it sound good.
And the guitarist, Brian May, built his own electric guitar with his dad. That is just awesome. Out of wood from an old mantle. More awsome.
Did you like those? Well of course you did. Here, I've linked a few more for you just because, well, I can:
The Miracle
These Are the Days of Our Lives
One Vision
Don't Stop Me Now
Save Me
I Was Born to Love You
Anyway, now I just need to get a couple of their albums.
And a poster. And a t-shirt. And a calendar...
Thanks Ryan.
~ Me: "Are you-"
~ Kyle: "Yes."
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
At least I'm not...
...writing Star Trek fanfic.
So, you people that I gave Aiden manuscripts to, how are ya liking it so far?
As I said on the Knowing Andrew website, I have reached the point when I really need to decide if continuing the story is worth the amount of time that I'm putting into it. Relatively speaking, it doesn't take that much of my time out of the week. But it does take a lot of my writing time out of the week. Also writing energy if that makes any sense to you. But! According to the word on the streets, practice does make perfect, so is it worth it, even though I don't have that many readers? Possibly. Thoughts?
I hate writing trite things, and if I have to try to force it with Aiden, I just won't write. Getting nothing done is better than the alternative in this case.
I went to a workshop on etiquette. It was very interesting actually. Presented by the Purdue president's event coordinator, Anthony Cawdron. From England, he's got a Master's in hospitality and something else, and worked as a butler in days past. He teaches a class on campus as well. And he's a really funny guy.
I learned to always pass the salt and pepper together, how to get people through a receiving line quickly, how to hold a glass, hors d'ouvre plate, fork, and napkin while still keeping a hand free for shaking, and how to subtly let restaurant staff know that I am in charge of a business situation, even if I am the only female at the table.
Also how to keep a man from inadvertently crushing your fingers when you shake hands, though that's not something I've ever really had a problem with personally.
It's actually pretty riveting stuff.
~ "Now I'm beginning to regret laying Nale..." ~
~ Angel Hair
So, you people that I gave Aiden manuscripts to, how are ya liking it so far?
As I said on the Knowing Andrew website, I have reached the point when I really need to decide if continuing the story is worth the amount of time that I'm putting into it. Relatively speaking, it doesn't take that much of my time out of the week. But it does take a lot of my writing time out of the week. Also writing energy if that makes any sense to you. But! According to the word on the streets, practice does make perfect, so is it worth it, even though I don't have that many readers? Possibly. Thoughts?
I hate writing trite things, and if I have to try to force it with Aiden, I just won't write. Getting nothing done is better than the alternative in this case.
I went to a workshop on etiquette. It was very interesting actually. Presented by the Purdue president's event coordinator, Anthony Cawdron. From England, he's got a Master's in hospitality and something else, and worked as a butler in days past. He teaches a class on campus as well. And he's a really funny guy.
I learned to always pass the salt and pepper together, how to get people through a receiving line quickly, how to hold a glass, hors d'ouvre plate, fork, and napkin while still keeping a hand free for shaking, and how to subtly let restaurant staff know that I am in charge of a business situation, even if I am the only female at the table.
Also how to keep a man from inadvertently crushing your fingers when you shake hands, though that's not something I've ever really had a problem with personally.
It's actually pretty riveting stuff.
~ "Now I'm beginning to regret laying Nale..." ~
~ Angel Hair
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Confrontation...
~ "Dude, just ask her out already! You like her, she seems to be okay with you...What's to lose?"
Robert rolled his eyes in unadulterated exasperation.
"Edwin Winger, we have been over this and I refuse to have this conversation again. I have my reasons, and you've heard most of them-"
"They're stupid ones," Ed muttered.
"You've heard most of them, and quite frankly I don't care if you don't like them. It's not you I'm trying to please. Do you think you could just back off a bit?" With a scathing look Robert turned away and headed for the door.
"Well then just who are you trying to please Rob?" Edwin called after him. "Cause it sure seems to me that you're something short of gleeful." Robert executed an about face and came back to stand in front of Ed without ever slowing. He leaned in close and spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable with painful deliberation, as if assuming the worst about Edwin's intellect.
"This is really none of your business. This is what I like to call "my business". Now I asked you to back off." There was silence for a long moment while the two men stared at each other. Edwin spoke.
"Alright already, I'll back off!"
"Good," Robert said.
"But I think you're making a mistake." Edwin murmured under his breath as Robert began to turn his back again.
"You're not really so much backing off, as not backing off!" snapped Rob.
"Okay, I'll exercise amazing levels of super-human restraint and I really will keep my thoughts and feelings all to myself. It'll be hard, but I'll give it my best. My lips are sealed. I'm done trying to convince you. I won't say anything else. Consider my opinion null and void." Robert's face softened a tiny bit and Edwin caught the barest hint of the beginnings of a smile trying to touch the corner of Robert's mouth.
"Thank you. I appreciate your sacrifice to the cause."
Ed waved his hand.
"Oh it was nothing! Anything for a friend," he said. Robert shook his head, and this time, actually did smile.
"Have I told you recently that I think you're a little off? A nice guy, but a little off."
"Yeah, what would you do without me?" ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Robert rolled his eyes in unadulterated exasperation.
"Edwin Winger, we have been over this and I refuse to have this conversation again. I have my reasons, and you've heard most of them-"
"They're stupid ones," Ed muttered.
"You've heard most of them, and quite frankly I don't care if you don't like them. It's not you I'm trying to please. Do you think you could just back off a bit?" With a scathing look Robert turned away and headed for the door.
"Well then just who are you trying to please Rob?" Edwin called after him. "Cause it sure seems to me that you're something short of gleeful." Robert executed an about face and came back to stand in front of Ed without ever slowing. He leaned in close and spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable with painful deliberation, as if assuming the worst about Edwin's intellect.
"This is really none of your business. This is what I like to call "my business". Now I asked you to back off." There was silence for a long moment while the two men stared at each other. Edwin spoke.
"Alright already, I'll back off!"
"Good," Robert said.
"But I think you're making a mistake." Edwin murmured under his breath as Robert began to turn his back again.
"You're not really so much backing off, as not backing off!" snapped Rob.
"Okay, I'll exercise amazing levels of super-human restraint and I really will keep my thoughts and feelings all to myself. It'll be hard, but I'll give it my best. My lips are sealed. I'm done trying to convince you. I won't say anything else. Consider my opinion null and void." Robert's face softened a tiny bit and Edwin caught the barest hint of the beginnings of a smile trying to touch the corner of Robert's mouth.
"Thank you. I appreciate your sacrifice to the cause."
Ed waved his hand.
"Oh it was nothing! Anything for a friend," he said. Robert shook his head, and this time, actually did smile.
"Have I told you recently that I think you're a little off? A nice guy, but a little off."
"Yeah, what would you do without me?" ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Oh the humanity...
I'm writing this while I should be doing something else. Hurrah for procrastination!
School's going good. As was the case last year I think that Spanish should probably be the most time consuming overall. My Gender Across Cultures text is actually interesting. What a novel concept. I'm disappointed that I did not get Don Mitchell for philosophy, even though he was listed as teaching it. I heard that he is really good. And that's about all I have to say on that issue.
In other news: I wish I had more time to write. Writing a book is, of course, not even half the job of getting it published, but it'd be nice to finish. I read an article by a fantasy author on writing and he said that the stages of completing a book are these:
You start writing and are full of vigor and inspiration.
You hit a dry spell somewhere in the middle.
You get about half way and feel like it's never going to be done.
You push through that, see the finish on the horizon, get your second wind, and finally draw to a conclusion.
So far I've been pretty textbook.
School's going good. As was the case last year I think that Spanish should probably be the most time consuming overall. My Gender Across Cultures text is actually interesting. What a novel concept. I'm disappointed that I did not get Don Mitchell for philosophy, even though he was listed as teaching it. I heard that he is really good. And that's about all I have to say on that issue.
In other news: I wish I had more time to write. Writing a book is, of course, not even half the job of getting it published, but it'd be nice to finish. I read an article by a fantasy author on writing and he said that the stages of completing a book are these:
You start writing and are full of vigor and inspiration.
You hit a dry spell somewhere in the middle.
You get about half way and feel like it's never going to be done.
You push through that, see the finish on the horizon, get your second wind, and finally draw to a conclusion.
So far I've been pretty textbook.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Tripping through the wire forests...
This morning I woke up dreaming about my car. Same car, but it had slightly customized controls. Instead of a steering wheel I had a reverse yoke. The gear shift was a flat red button-lever on the right bottom leg of said yoke. Worked pretty well actually. Had to explain it to everyone who got in the car, but that was a small price to pay.
Did you have a good Christmas? I had a good Christmas. Not a bit of snow here, just rain. Gorgeous out last night though. Clear skies, chill air. Been bonding with the dog. Also watching a lot of Animal Planet and Science Channel. Did you know that dragonflies have four wings which they manipulate separately? That's what lets them fly in basically any direction, and pull off the impressive aeronautics that they do.
Have a great New Year everybody!
~ Look, this may seem simple and juvenile, but it's really quite complicated. Now could you hand me that red crayon?" ~
~ Ben
From the mind of Renee.
Did you have a good Christmas? I had a good Christmas. Not a bit of snow here, just rain. Gorgeous out last night though. Clear skies, chill air. Been bonding with the dog. Also watching a lot of Animal Planet and Science Channel. Did you know that dragonflies have four wings which they manipulate separately? That's what lets them fly in basically any direction, and pull off the impressive aeronautics that they do.
Have a great New Year everybody!
~ Look, this may seem simple and juvenile, but it's really quite complicated. Now could you hand me that red crayon?" ~
~ Ben
From the mind of Renee.
Monday, December 17, 2007
I'm very understanding...
Some of you may have been wondering what's been going on with the SoF lately. Oh yeah? Well I'm going to talk about it anyway.
First off, we were delighted to bring in fresh talent earlier this semester. Here's a belated welcome to Steven "Angel Hair" and Brant "Rubble". As always you can see their true-to-life profiles on the SoF website, or on the SoF wiki.
We've had a good number of shows this semester and the club has been moved to take part in several charitable works. We're all so very proud.
In other news, we've already begun booking next semester with tentatively firm dates set for our third annual SoF/AOO show (March 1st) and for a return trip to the Towle Theatre in Hammond, IN (February 2nd). That is something that I personally am extremely excited for. Former Fool and current ISU grad student, Alex, will be rejoining us that evening on stage if all goes as planned.
In another area of my life, I am just under my goal of 26,000 words of my novel completed by the end of this year, and hopefully I can finish that up over break. Right now I am going to set the goal of having 39K done by the end of next semester. I am pleased with what I have so far. As I stated before it has been kind of slow lately, but I rather expected that. Apparently most authors hit the doldrums somewhere near the middle of a book and just have to fight through it until another fresh breeze hits the sails.
I've been publishing my ongoing story Knowing Andrew online for 2 months now, and I like it. Though it does take time away from Aiden, I think that any writing practice is good writing practice.
Speaking of writing practice, I am enrolled in a creative writing class (ENGL 205) for next semester. Hopefully that will be fun. I'm also in Abnormal Psych (PSY 350), Motivation (PSY 333), Spanish (SPAN 102), Gender Across Cultures (ANTH 303), and Philosophy of Religion (PHIL 330). A very Liberal Arts heavy schedule indeed. We'll see how that goes for me.
Finals are over for this semester and I think that I did alright. I intend to continue studying Spanish through the break to get the stuff that I failed to memorize during the term down pat, and also to hopefully spend a good bit of time writing.
~ "I'm not tense! I'm just terribly, terribly alert." ~
~ Some character in Touch of Pink
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The unnecessary...
So how do you feel about New Year's resolutions? I personally find them inefficient. If I want to resolve to do/not do something I can do it at any point in the year. I suppose that the idea is that you are starting a whole new, heretofore unadulterated, year and thus can leave the past behind you and strike out on a new path, new leaf close to hand. In my personal experience the past is never left behind you.
That sounds rather negative, and perhaps even a tad creepy ("Just what don't you understand about 'Leave me alone!', Past? Don't call me again!"), but I don't mean it that way. To the contrary, without our pasts we would be lost. Not just the good things, but the bad things as well, shape us into who we are. Bad things don't have to be a complete loss. As hard or unpleasant as it may be to face them, they shouldn't necessarily be buried or hidden. Pain can heal, and hurt can teach.
This year, sure I'll make a couple of resolutions, at the least for traditions sake. I will write them down in my journal and a year from now I'll look back and see how I did. If you ever see them you'll find that they tend to be rather vague, and quite often abstract. Hopefully, they'll never, ever take the form of wishing to change the past.
~ "Let no one delay the study of philosophy while young nor weary of it when old." ~
~ Epicurus - Letter to Menoeceus (Diogenes Laertius) 10.112
That sounds rather negative, and perhaps even a tad creepy ("Just what don't you understand about 'Leave me alone!', Past? Don't call me again!"), but I don't mean it that way. To the contrary, without our pasts we would be lost. Not just the good things, but the bad things as well, shape us into who we are. Bad things don't have to be a complete loss. As hard or unpleasant as it may be to face them, they shouldn't necessarily be buried or hidden. Pain can heal, and hurt can teach.
This year, sure I'll make a couple of resolutions, at the least for traditions sake. I will write them down in my journal and a year from now I'll look back and see how I did. If you ever see them you'll find that they tend to be rather vague, and quite often abstract. Hopefully, they'll never, ever take the form of wishing to change the past.
~ "Let no one delay the study of philosophy while young nor weary of it when old." ~
~ Epicurus - Letter to Menoeceus (Diogenes Laertius) 10.112
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Contemplation...
I absolutely love this song by one Robbie Williams. He's got the great combination of strong and smooth in his voice which is so wonderful for the classic jazz pieces (I recommend It's Delovely, Ain't Love a Kick in the Head, My Way, and One For My Baby to name a few), but also the versatility to do the more poppy rock songs (I like Something Beautiful). I think you can see both in Angels. It's also great when he sings it in Spanish! I'll tell you one thing; the man has better range than I do.
So, for your viewing pleasure, Robbie Williams' Angels:
In Spanish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnggOwh3RWI
So, for your viewing pleasure, Robbie Williams' Angels:
In Spanish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnggOwh3RWI
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Listen up, we don't have much time...
Let's talk about my literary exploits.
The book is coming along. Slowly. My gosh, slowly. Seems that for the past month or so I've been in a dry spell. And when I say "dry spell" I mean "arid wasteland". But! Last night I pulled it together and wrote another chapter for it. That makes me happy. That also gives me approximately 21K words. If I write another 5K before Christmas I will have met my goal for this year.
In other literary news, I've written 12 chapters of my ongoing story Knowing Andrew (That's http://knowingandrew.blogspot.com kids!) and that's pretty exciting to me. I have my doubts as to how long I can make this particular story line last, but so far I think it's going pretty strong. I like the fact that often it comes down to the day that I'm supposed to post and I have no idea what's going to happen, so I just start writing and the story manifests itself.
I wouldn't call it my best writing by any stretch, but there are parts that I really do like, and it is breaking into a genre/format that I haven't worked much with, so that's exciting.
~ "President Jischke does not touch doorknobs!" ~
~ Preston
The book is coming along. Slowly. My gosh, slowly. Seems that for the past month or so I've been in a dry spell. And when I say "dry spell" I mean "arid wasteland". But! Last night I pulled it together and wrote another chapter for it. That makes me happy. That also gives me approximately 21K words. If I write another 5K before Christmas I will have met my goal for this year.
In other literary news, I've written 12 chapters of my ongoing story Knowing Andrew (That's http://knowingandrew.blogspot.com kids!) and that's pretty exciting to me. I have my doubts as to how long I can make this particular story line last, but so far I think it's going pretty strong. I like the fact that often it comes down to the day that I'm supposed to post and I have no idea what's going to happen, so I just start writing and the story manifests itself.
I wouldn't call it my best writing by any stretch, but there are parts that I really do like, and it is breaking into a genre/format that I haven't worked much with, so that's exciting.
~ "President Jischke does not touch doorknobs!" ~
~ Preston
Monday, November 26, 2007
I haven't seen a dungeon or a dragon yet...
Last night a group of friends and acquaintances of mine got together to make up characters for a new auxiliary RPG (my second ever). This one is going to be the classic sort of D&D dealio rather than the Star Wars theme that we've got going for the main game now. (Gametime?)
In it I'll be playing an elf by the name of Baellam Korvain. Compared to my Star Wars character, Jagden Morealas, he is fairly tame. More the backwoodsy, quiet, reserved type, he is sometimes hard for me to read.
On the other hand, Jagden, who has quite the force of personality, just kind of happens. I think mainly because whatever comes to my mind, be it a joke or an improprietous statement, Jag has no trouble at all saying it. Baellam is not so forward, so I have to hold that stuff in. He is much more serious and, though forthright, very aware of social interactions. His personality can and will be drawn out I think, but until it is he's going to be very quiet.
It should be interesting.
In it I'll be playing an elf by the name of Baellam Korvain. Compared to my Star Wars character, Jagden Morealas, he is fairly tame. More the backwoodsy, quiet, reserved type, he is sometimes hard for me to read.
On the other hand, Jagden, who has quite the force of personality, just kind of happens. I think mainly because whatever comes to my mind, be it a joke or an improprietous statement, Jag has no trouble at all saying it. Baellam is not so forward, so I have to hold that stuff in. He is much more serious and, though forthright, very aware of social interactions. His personality can and will be drawn out I think, but until it is he's going to be very quiet.
It should be interesting.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Cyclical...
Well my ongoing story has been ongoing for a month now, which means that my trial period is over and it is time to decide whether or not I want to continue with it. Big commitment, those ongoing stories. On the one hand, I like that it gives me a break from Aiden. On the other, it does take my mind away from my main writing goal for the moment, which happens to be finishing Aiden. Is that a wholly bad thing? I don't think so...
I watched an episode of Stargate SG-1 today in which a man is stranded on a planet, completely alone, for over 50 years. When they find him he exhibits some shock, as one would expect, and he can hardly get a sentence out. Also, as one might expect. I have to wonder how that kind of solitude would effect myself. I think it would be hard. Particularly in a case such as this one, as it was forced upon him. One thing that would help I think is that he did have to worry about his own survival, which gives one something to do.
To that end I would like, one of these days, to spend at least several weeks completely cut off from humanity. Now whether that would be in a patch of wilderness somewhere, or in the privacy of my own home doesn't really concern me. The point would be, no human contact of any kind. I'm very curious about this.
I watched an episode of Stargate SG-1 today in which a man is stranded on a planet, completely alone, for over 50 years. When they find him he exhibits some shock, as one would expect, and he can hardly get a sentence out. Also, as one might expect. I have to wonder how that kind of solitude would effect myself. I think it would be hard. Particularly in a case such as this one, as it was forced upon him. One thing that would help I think is that he did have to worry about his own survival, which gives one something to do.
To that end I would like, one of these days, to spend at least several weeks completely cut off from humanity. Now whether that would be in a patch of wilderness somewhere, or in the privacy of my own home doesn't really concern me. The point would be, no human contact of any kind. I'm very curious about this.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Not that time of year again!...
Yup, you got it. The semesterly introspection post. It was either this or some picture of a dark angel off of deviantART.
In case you were wondering, this semester I have been less than energetic about classes. Felt a little burned out to be honest. Because of that, I may not have all A's this semester. And furthermore, I'm not really bothered by that fact.
As far as the whole "life-decisions" go, not a lot of progress in that department. Still not sure if I'm doing the right thing with the whole "switching to psych" deal. One thing that I have pretty much decided on, is that I'm going to hang around an extra year and pick up a double major in philosophy.
Next semester I'm going to have 18 credit hours to deal with and I'm pondering whether or not I could afford to cut my work hours back to only as much as my work-study covers. Maybe less?
Soooo, yeah. This introspection post was a lot shorter than I thought it would be.
In other news, Jenny and myself just signed a lease for an apartment next year. We should move in sometime in August. That's pretty exciting stuff. I'll be eagerly looking forward to our move-in date. We'll be just around the corner from a park, where there are swings, and a dog drinking fountain.
In case you were wondering, this semester I have been less than energetic about classes. Felt a little burned out to be honest. Because of that, I may not have all A's this semester. And furthermore, I'm not really bothered by that fact.
As far as the whole "life-decisions" go, not a lot of progress in that department. Still not sure if I'm doing the right thing with the whole "switching to psych" deal. One thing that I have pretty much decided on, is that I'm going to hang around an extra year and pick up a double major in philosophy.
Next semester I'm going to have 18 credit hours to deal with and I'm pondering whether or not I could afford to cut my work hours back to only as much as my work-study covers. Maybe less?
Soooo, yeah. This introspection post was a lot shorter than I thought it would be.
In other news, Jenny and myself just signed a lease for an apartment next year. We should move in sometime in August. That's pretty exciting stuff. I'll be eagerly looking forward to our move-in date. We'll be just around the corner from a park, where there are swings, and a dog drinking fountain.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Eh, let's just call it filler...
Borrowed from Ryan because, well, I thought his was funny.
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Well that would be my journal: "...stuff (and the rest of them all..."
And if that doesn't count, Memorial Day by Vince Flynn: "...and then some. The man proved himself a virtual fountain of intel-..."
2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
The bed.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Probably...Fairly Odd Parents with Shiloh last time I was home.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
2:25
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:15
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The air conditioner.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
A few hours ago, when I was returning from the Village where I had coffee with Jamie and Kyle. Beautiful evening.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Ryan and Paul's blogs
9. What are you wearing?
Articles of clothing.
10. Did you dream last night?
Oh yes, as I have for some time now.
11. When did you last laugh?
A few minutes ago reading Paul's account of his blood donation.
12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
A group of large pictures of wild animals indigenous to North America, 2 calendars (horses), a group of SoF pictures, a horse quilt, and a giant pencil drawing of Amunhotep III done by my Aunt Beth.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yes. I saw a perfect tub of completely (as of that time) unadulterated sorbet at the coffee shop.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
The virtue of a quiz, I believe, is not in the questions, but in the answers.
15. What is the last film you saw?
If Stargate SG-1 on DVD counts, then that. If not, then I think it had to have been Mickey Blue Eyes?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I think that the first thing I would buy would be a set of green golden D&D die. And a candybar.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I feel more adept at creating male characters than female.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Is this past, present, and future? Natural or man-made issues? So many things to think about, hard to say...
19. Do you like to dance?
Oh yes.
20. George Bush:
What about him?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Not Gwendolyn.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Gwendolyn.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Why sure.
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Hopefully something along the lines of: "Renee! Oh it's so good to see you! Come on in and make yourself to home! Supper's gonna be on in about 20 minutes."
25. Do you like the people of your same sex?
Well sure. Mostly. Some of them not. Some are alright. Ok, so I don't have that much experience with women...
26.Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR journal:
No.
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Well that would be my journal: "...stuff (and the rest of them all..."
And if that doesn't count, Memorial Day by Vince Flynn: "...and then some. The man proved himself a virtual fountain of intel-..."
2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
The bed.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Probably...Fairly Odd Parents with Shiloh last time I was home.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
2:25
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:15
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The air conditioner.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
A few hours ago, when I was returning from the Village where I had coffee with Jamie and Kyle. Beautiful evening.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Ryan and Paul's blogs
9. What are you wearing?
Articles of clothing.
10. Did you dream last night?
Oh yes, as I have for some time now.
11. When did you last laugh?
A few minutes ago reading Paul's account of his blood donation.
12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
A group of large pictures of wild animals indigenous to North America, 2 calendars (horses), a group of SoF pictures, a horse quilt, and a giant pencil drawing of Amunhotep III done by my Aunt Beth.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yes. I saw a perfect tub of completely (as of that time) unadulterated sorbet at the coffee shop.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
The virtue of a quiz, I believe, is not in the questions, but in the answers.
15. What is the last film you saw?
If Stargate SG-1 on DVD counts, then that. If not, then I think it had to have been Mickey Blue Eyes?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I think that the first thing I would buy would be a set of green golden D&D die. And a candybar.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I feel more adept at creating male characters than female.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Is this past, present, and future? Natural or man-made issues? So many things to think about, hard to say...
19. Do you like to dance?
Oh yes.
20. George Bush:
What about him?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Not Gwendolyn.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Gwendolyn.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Why sure.
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Hopefully something along the lines of: "Renee! Oh it's so good to see you! Come on in and make yourself to home! Supper's gonna be on in about 20 minutes."
25. Do you like the people of your same sex?
Well sure. Mostly. Some of them not. Some are alright. Ok, so I don't have that much experience with women...
26.Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR journal:
No.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
One of my favorite...
...sites in the autumn/winter is this one where you can make your own cyber snowflakes. I find it relaxing and fun (then I did some jobs for money...). I encourage you to give it a shot. Some of them are amazingly gorgeous. I personally have not done any that are uberspectacular, but if you click on "Find a Flake" and search for the name "Meridian" the ones that I have made will fall. If you wanted to go way back you could look for "Andromeda", the name I used in 2005. If you make some, leave a comment with the name you used so I can go and look at them too!
Hilarious and awesome.
Hilarious and awesome.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
An announcement...
As most of you will know, I have always been the admirer of the ongoing story. So I've decided to try making one. Allow me to introduce you to:
Knowing Andrew
As of this moment in time the plan is for the story to be updated twice a week, every Monday and Friday. The first chapter is already up, and you may recognize it as a stand alone scene that I posted here not terribly long ago. The second chapter will be added the 19th. For now I am counting this as a month long trial. If, after a month, I feel that it is too much added to my current regime of Aiden, then it will be discontinued, hopefully not permanently.
This is fairly ground breaking for me. I've never attempted anything quite like this before and I am excited. So far I am proud of the story and I like where it is going.
If I can beg a favor of you, please read it, and if you can stomach it, read the updates. If it's not so bad that you would be ashamed to do so, I personally would appreciate you telling a friend about it. You see, I have this goal. This goal to have a reader that I don't actually know/am related to. I just think that would be pretty cool.
As always, thanks to each of you for reading!
By way of a PS: Peace has recently started his own MWF ongoing story. Check it out. Definitely worth a read.
Oh, and a PSS: From now on there will be a link in my sidebar to Knowing Andrew, just so you're aware, under the other stories labels.
Knowing Andrew
As of this moment in time the plan is for the story to be updated twice a week, every Monday and Friday. The first chapter is already up, and you may recognize it as a stand alone scene that I posted here not terribly long ago. The second chapter will be added the 19th. For now I am counting this as a month long trial. If, after a month, I feel that it is too much added to my current regime of Aiden, then it will be discontinued, hopefully not permanently.
This is fairly ground breaking for me. I've never attempted anything quite like this before and I am excited. So far I am proud of the story and I like where it is going.
If I can beg a favor of you, please read it, and if you can stomach it, read the updates. If it's not so bad that you would be ashamed to do so, I personally would appreciate you telling a friend about it. You see, I have this goal. This goal to have a reader that I don't actually know/am related to. I just think that would be pretty cool.
As always, thanks to each of you for reading!
By way of a PS: Peace has recently started his own MWF ongoing story. Check it out. Definitely worth a read.
Oh, and a PSS: From now on there will be a link in my sidebar to Knowing Andrew, just so you're aware, under the other stories labels.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Paradoxical...
As it turns out I identify more as an academic than a woman.
Huh.
~ Well I personally have a healthy respect for frag grenades... ~
~ Jagden Morealas
Huh.
~ Well I personally have a healthy respect for frag grenades... ~
~ Jagden Morealas
Friday, October 05, 2007
The Search...
~ Today I went looking for the surreal. Of all the things that I write about, I like writing about surreal things most. Since nothing that would qualify as extraordinarily surreal has happened to me lately I decided to go find it instead of waiting passively by the way for it to find me. Where can you find the surreal? In stores of course. So that's where I went.
I set out after work with nothing less than determination. First I got lunch. It was delicious. But not surreal. As I am wont to do, I turned up a street that I do not know that seemed to be going in the general direction of my destination (aka Big Lots). As the streets of Lafayette are fairly well ordered, and since I have a quite sufficient sense of direction I do not get lost doing this. I do find things though. Today I found a house on a street corner with an iron fence. It didn't have much yard to speak of, but that bit of earth that it did stand on was covered and all but obscured with greenery. A verdant bower created by trees and ivy and bushes and flowers. I couldn't tell you what the house looked like, as most of it was hidden from view.
I finally got to Big Lots after meandering that very round about way and began shopping for serendipity. They didn't seem to have any in stock. I did get deodorant though. I needed some of that anyway. I paid for my purchases and another car almost backed into mine while I was pulling out. Not surreal. Annoying, but not surreal.
If you can't find the surreal anywhere else always fall back on the Goodwill. It's like your normalcy bomb shelter. If you can't find something surreal there, then you're just not looking.
I got a trench coat for five dollars. ~
If I ever have my own comedy troupe I might call them the Deadly Nightshades.
(FunFact: Deadly nightshade's scientific name Atropa belladonna comes from the name of the Greek Fate, Atropos, who's job it is to cut the thread of life, and the Italian words for "beautiful lady" because in olden times women would use it as a cosmetic substance by putting drops of its highly toxic extract into their eyes to dilate their pupils, thus implying arousal and making eye contact all that much more intriguing.)
I set out after work with nothing less than determination. First I got lunch. It was delicious. But not surreal. As I am wont to do, I turned up a street that I do not know that seemed to be going in the general direction of my destination (aka Big Lots). As the streets of Lafayette are fairly well ordered, and since I have a quite sufficient sense of direction I do not get lost doing this. I do find things though. Today I found a house on a street corner with an iron fence. It didn't have much yard to speak of, but that bit of earth that it did stand on was covered and all but obscured with greenery. A verdant bower created by trees and ivy and bushes and flowers. I couldn't tell you what the house looked like, as most of it was hidden from view.
I finally got to Big Lots after meandering that very round about way and began shopping for serendipity. They didn't seem to have any in stock. I did get deodorant though. I needed some of that anyway. I paid for my purchases and another car almost backed into mine while I was pulling out. Not surreal. Annoying, but not surreal.
If you can't find the surreal anywhere else always fall back on the Goodwill. It's like your normalcy bomb shelter. If you can't find something surreal there, then you're just not looking.
I got a trench coat for five dollars. ~
If I ever have my own comedy troupe I might call them the Deadly Nightshades.
(FunFact: Deadly nightshade's scientific name Atropa belladonna comes from the name of the Greek Fate, Atropos, who's job it is to cut the thread of life, and the Italian words for "beautiful lady" because in olden times women would use it as a cosmetic substance by putting drops of its highly toxic extract into their eyes to dilate their pupils, thus implying arousal and making eye contact all that much more intriguing.)
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Epiphany...
I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine on the topic of the threesome. The central question was: All else being equal, would you rather be with two people of the opposite sex or one of either gender? Truth be told I had never put much thought into the subject. I came to two conclusions:
1) Take the case of me, my theoretical significant other, and an additional woman. I know for a fact that I would not take it well at all to see the man that I loved being intimate with, or even looking at, another woman. So that's out.
2) Let's try me, my TSO, and an additional man. Not being the type to engage in random acts of sexual intercourse, I gotta say that would be a bit weird. For this fact alone: I would have sex with someone that I loved. To have some other guy just stopping in for kicks, that'd make me uncomfortable I'd wager.Why I presented all that here, well, I'm not really sure
I've just brought my would be book up to the mark of approximately 15250 words. That's somewhere between a quarter and a fifth done for your average sized novel. I also had an epiphany. I won't give any spoilers here, but several major points of the plot that I had been ignoring up til now have been made beautifully clear to me. Like fine Waterford crystal.
~ “Aiden. This is really weird. Are you sure we're not hallucinating?”
“Well I'm not Jacob. I won't presume to speak for you.” ~
~ Mine, gimme
1) Take the case of me, my theoretical significant other, and an additional woman. I know for a fact that I would not take it well at all to see the man that I loved being intimate with, or even looking at, another woman. So that's out.
2) Let's try me, my TSO, and an additional man. Not being the type to engage in random acts of sexual intercourse, I gotta say that would be a bit weird. For this fact alone: I would have sex with someone that I loved. To have some other guy just stopping in for kicks, that'd make me uncomfortable I'd wager.Why I presented all that here, well, I'm not really sure
I've just brought my would be book up to the mark of approximately 15250 words. That's somewhere between a quarter and a fifth done for your average sized novel. I also had an epiphany. I won't give any spoilers here, but several major points of the plot that I had been ignoring up til now have been made beautifully clear to me. Like fine Waterford crystal.
~ “Aiden. This is really weird. Are you sure we're not hallucinating?”
“Well I'm not Jacob. I won't presume to speak for you.” ~
~ Mine, gimme
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Unknowable...
~ I cried.
I cried for my baby, my husband, my pain. I cried because crying was the only thing I could do.
Robert held me locked in his arms, rocking me gently, I only realized later, in time to his own sobs. I clung to him like he was my last hope.
I vaguely remember passing the afterbirth, a nurse gently removing my feet from the stirrups and covering me up. Either no one spoke to me, or I just don't remember it. My world consisted of my anguish, the unendurable ache consuming my heart. Robert's world brushed against mine and I knew his pain as well. I thought that it must be a blessing to die.
This should not be happening to me. This could not have happened to me. That putrid mass of flesh that my body had just so violently expelled could not have been my baby.
I stopped crying. The emptiness choked me. That was not my baby. More tears came where I thought I had none left. That was my baby.
My baby.
The pain dragged me down. I did not resist.
Robert cradled my limp body as a nurse slipped a sedative into my vein. I wondered briefly if they had anything that would dull his agony.
He lay me gently back on the bed and went, for the first and last time, to look at his son. I could still feel his body shaking against my breast.
Hell couldn't hurt this badly. ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Please comment. I need to know what you think of this.
I cried for my baby, my husband, my pain. I cried because crying was the only thing I could do.
Robert held me locked in his arms, rocking me gently, I only realized later, in time to his own sobs. I clung to him like he was my last hope.
I vaguely remember passing the afterbirth, a nurse gently removing my feet from the stirrups and covering me up. Either no one spoke to me, or I just don't remember it. My world consisted of my anguish, the unendurable ache consuming my heart. Robert's world brushed against mine and I knew his pain as well. I thought that it must be a blessing to die.
This should not be happening to me. This could not have happened to me. That putrid mass of flesh that my body had just so violently expelled could not have been my baby.
I stopped crying. The emptiness choked me. That was not my baby. More tears came where I thought I had none left. That was my baby.
My baby.
The pain dragged me down. I did not resist.
Robert cradled my limp body as a nurse slipped a sedative into my vein. I wondered briefly if they had anything that would dull his agony.
He lay me gently back on the bed and went, for the first and last time, to look at his son. I could still feel his body shaking against my breast.
Hell couldn't hurt this badly. ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Please comment. I need to know what you think of this.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Nothing to see here...
~ Jared leaned in and eyed Sam's work warily.
"I pray God you know what you're doing."
"Yes, yes Jared I do. Now will you quit sweating down the back of my neck?" His voice sounded just a tiny bit testy. Considering that Sam was working with explosives Jared decided to go ahead and back off a little. He leaned back into the wall he was kneeling beside, rifle crossed over his chest and carefully peered out into the darkness surrounding them. The night was absolutely silent but for his own respiration and the faint whispers coming from Sam's direction as he gently swore under his breath. Jared waited for as long as he possibly could before asking.
"How's it going there big guy?"
"The damn blasting cap's aged! I can't say for sure if this thing is going to blow or not. Why can't we freaking have decent equipment for once? ~
~ Mine
"I pray God you know what you're doing."
"Yes, yes Jared I do. Now will you quit sweating down the back of my neck?" His voice sounded just a tiny bit testy. Considering that Sam was working with explosives Jared decided to go ahead and back off a little. He leaned back into the wall he was kneeling beside, rifle crossed over his chest and carefully peered out into the darkness surrounding them. The night was absolutely silent but for his own respiration and the faint whispers coming from Sam's direction as he gently swore under his breath. Jared waited for as long as he possibly could before asking.
"How's it going there big guy?"
"The damn blasting cap's aged! I can't say for sure if this thing is going to blow or not. Why can't we freaking have decent equipment for once? ~
~ Mine
Thursday, August 30, 2007
For RTG...
This is something that I wrote at the beginning of spring semester and had not intended to share with anyone. It's still not an easy thing to face.
Waiting is the hardest thing on Earth to do.
I think I'll call it Aching Reprieve. Or perhaps The Price of Another Try.
~ I leave his office crying. Is it all joy? Certainly not. Celebrating the renewal of one dream but at the same time mourning the loss of another. Are the two even separable?
I am awash with unspeakable relief. I am distraught at the prospect of selling out for a second chance. How can I quit my dream? How can I not? The goal can lead to its own ruination.
I hadn't started crying until he gave me the good news. One word. I melt. After so very long on the razor's edge.
The darkness lifted, I glimpse the sun. A new twilight settles. I can hold back the tears no longer.
He tells me that I owe myself a second chance.
I still wonder if it's the subject or me.
Did I try hard enough? Was I just not giving my all?
Was the dream worth it?
Can I be happy?
And the doubt that lurks always in my mind:
Was I even capable of doing it?
Is this what I want? ~
~ From the life of Renee
I should pay Dr. Miller a visit...
Waiting is the hardest thing on Earth to do.
I think I'll call it Aching Reprieve. Or perhaps The Price of Another Try.
~ I leave his office crying. Is it all joy? Certainly not. Celebrating the renewal of one dream but at the same time mourning the loss of another. Are the two even separable?
I am awash with unspeakable relief. I am distraught at the prospect of selling out for a second chance. How can I quit my dream? How can I not? The goal can lead to its own ruination.
I hadn't started crying until he gave me the good news. One word. I melt. After so very long on the razor's edge.
The darkness lifted, I glimpse the sun. A new twilight settles. I can hold back the tears no longer.
He tells me that I owe myself a second chance.
I still wonder if it's the subject or me.
Did I try hard enough? Was I just not giving my all?
Was the dream worth it?
Can I be happy?
And the doubt that lurks always in my mind:
Was I even capable of doing it?
Is this what I want? ~
~ From the life of Renee
I should pay Dr. Miller a visit...
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Not for just anyone...
So the summer sessions are over and we are but days from the beginning of fall classes here at Purdue. Those of you that know me well will probably be aware of the fact that I usually don't take breaks well. Though I relish the lack of deadlines and work, I get bored easily. That having been said, I could easily deal with this little break lasting for another week or two. Still, even though I have been enjoying my short period of somnolence, I am a bit excited for the semester to begin. I'm gonna learn Spanish!
I'm also going to see the Dalai Lama in October. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to go all that badly, but then after talking to a couple people figured that, what the heck, it's probably not an opportunity that all that many people get, I might as well go for it. I also thought that $26 was not a bad price for enlightenment, but Ryan tells me that he doubts that enlightenment is included in the ticket price.
Speaking of prices, one of my more recent, and very salient goals is to save a goodly portion of money. That money will most likely go to one of three things. Those things would be: Music lessons, flying lessons, or investing. The problem being that I'm not sure which to go for. Allow me to present each case.
1) Music. I have always wanted to learn to play an instrument really well. The top contenders would be piano (not very portable, but wonderful), guitar (not my favorite instrument in the world, but portable, and I own one already), and last but not least, violin (portable, fantastically beautiful instrument, but possibly harder to learn).
2) Flying. Since I was a small child I've wanted to get my pilot's license and I have recently learned of Lafayette Aviation which happens to be headquartered at the Purdue Airport. A lesson or two a month would be fantastic! With 10-20 hours I could have my license.
3) Investing. I've always considered it a smart thing to do, especially if you start early. I'd love to be putting money away (and having it earn oodles of interest hopefully) before I hit 25. If I choose to go that route it could happen before I hit 23.
So, people who know me, thoughts?
"Wow! That is some strong gum." ~ Moi
"It's like chewing on a lavender bush!" ~ The Rex
Try the new Trident Wild Blueberry Twist!
I'm also going to see the Dalai Lama in October. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to go all that badly, but then after talking to a couple people figured that, what the heck, it's probably not an opportunity that all that many people get, I might as well go for it. I also thought that $26 was not a bad price for enlightenment, but Ryan tells me that he doubts that enlightenment is included in the ticket price.
Speaking of prices, one of my more recent, and very salient goals is to save a goodly portion of money. That money will most likely go to one of three things. Those things would be: Music lessons, flying lessons, or investing. The problem being that I'm not sure which to go for. Allow me to present each case.
1) Music. I have always wanted to learn to play an instrument really well. The top contenders would be piano (not very portable, but wonderful), guitar (not my favorite instrument in the world, but portable, and I own one already), and last but not least, violin (portable, fantastically beautiful instrument, but possibly harder to learn).
2) Flying. Since I was a small child I've wanted to get my pilot's license and I have recently learned of Lafayette Aviation which happens to be headquartered at the Purdue Airport. A lesson or two a month would be fantastic! With 10-20 hours I could have my license.
3) Investing. I've always considered it a smart thing to do, especially if you start early. I'd love to be putting money away (and having it earn oodles of interest hopefully) before I hit 25. If I choose to go that route it could happen before I hit 23.
So, people who know me, thoughts?
"Wow! That is some strong gum." ~ Moi
"It's like chewing on a lavender bush!" ~ The Rex
Try the new Trident Wild Blueberry Twist!
Friday, August 03, 2007
Something new and different...
~ Jaden McAllister slipped the knife back into it's sheath and finished pulling the ropes from his ankles. He didn't know why the heck he'd been left his dagger, or why his hands had been tied so loosely for that matter, but he got the impression that he'd find out quite soon. To soon.
A short panel in the wall began to slide open and he smoothly came to his feet. Disconcerting scratching noises were coming from the other side of the quickly widening gap.
He used his last free second to scan the room again. Nothing to take cover behind, nothing to climb. Jaden once again unsheathed his dagger. Looked like he would have to stand and fight.
A lioness came gliding out of the little door, as silent as a shadow, hugging the wall. The opening closed behind her as she circled Jaden. He turned with her, his thoughts racing.
'What is this, the dark ages? Am I to be martyred? What's next? A gladiator match? I can't kill this, it's a protected species!'
Just as Jaden decided that the lone lioness probably wouldn't attack him another panel began to grind open. His decision was split second and final.
Just as the second lioness slunk out to join the first Jaden ripped off his shirt and flung it up at the moving camera head high above that had been tracking him all this time, hoping to God that it would catch on something. With a silent Hail Mary on his lips, Jaden threw himself at his only hope for escape.
What he heard behind him was the scuffling of the lionesses who had deduced the escape plan of their only potential prey and had decided to make a last ditch effort at conquest. The muffled bump of the panel closing shut them off abruptly, leaving Jaden in absolute darkness. He groped around himself to try and establish bearings. He could feel the blood thudding in his face and neck and realized that he was breathing quite hard. He felt hot all over and his bare chest was slick with sweat.
Knife still to hand he began crawling along the tunnel he'd dived into. It turned out to be quite succinct, ending perhaps eight feet later in a cool metal door. He ran his hands over and around it. No handle, no gaps.
It occurred to Jaden that he'd be royally screwed if another lioness was let through this way.
'Or if they let the two in the room back in', the voice of logic reminded him dismally.
"Well this is just fan-damn-tastic." He said aloud. ~
~ It's all me baby.
A short panel in the wall began to slide open and he smoothly came to his feet. Disconcerting scratching noises were coming from the other side of the quickly widening gap.
He used his last free second to scan the room again. Nothing to take cover behind, nothing to climb. Jaden once again unsheathed his dagger. Looked like he would have to stand and fight.
A lioness came gliding out of the little door, as silent as a shadow, hugging the wall. The opening closed behind her as she circled Jaden. He turned with her, his thoughts racing.
'What is this, the dark ages? Am I to be martyred? What's next? A gladiator match? I can't kill this, it's a protected species!'
Just as Jaden decided that the lone lioness probably wouldn't attack him another panel began to grind open. His decision was split second and final.
Just as the second lioness slunk out to join the first Jaden ripped off his shirt and flung it up at the moving camera head high above that had been tracking him all this time, hoping to God that it would catch on something. With a silent Hail Mary on his lips, Jaden threw himself at his only hope for escape.
What he heard behind him was the scuffling of the lionesses who had deduced the escape plan of their only potential prey and had decided to make a last ditch effort at conquest. The muffled bump of the panel closing shut them off abruptly, leaving Jaden in absolute darkness. He groped around himself to try and establish bearings. He could feel the blood thudding in his face and neck and realized that he was breathing quite hard. He felt hot all over and his bare chest was slick with sweat.
Knife still to hand he began crawling along the tunnel he'd dived into. It turned out to be quite succinct, ending perhaps eight feet later in a cool metal door. He ran his hands over and around it. No handle, no gaps.
It occurred to Jaden that he'd be royally screwed if another lioness was let through this way.
'Or if they let the two in the room back in', the voice of logic reminded him dismally.
"Well this is just fan-damn-tastic." He said aloud. ~
~ It's all me baby.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Everything you ever didn't want to know about me...
Ok, wow this is long long long. I copied this list of so-called "confessions" from someone several months ago figuring that it would make a post for one of those times when I'm very bored and don't feel like actually putting effort into writing something. An "x" marks those things that I am/have/done/etc. You'll get the idea pretty fast I'm sure. You're a smart person.
[] I'm afraid of the quiet. (On the contrary, I'm rather a fan of quietude.)
[] I am really ticklish. (I don't think that I'm really ticklish. Somewhat ticklish yes, much more so as a child.)
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night. (I would prefer to see people before they see me, and thus would take the darker position if available, But I'm not obsessive about it.)
[] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Sorta?)
[] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[] I watch the news.
[] I own over 5 rap CDs. (Oh good gosh, when chickens have lips!)
[] I own something from Hot Topic. (I've passed it in the mall...)
[] I love Disney movies.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse sometimes (I have been known to utter the occasional expletive. Historically the majority of instances have had to do with my car or my school.)
[] I have "x"s in my screen name
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[] I love Spam. (Aaack, gag, choke.)
[x] I bake well.
[] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x]I have a job. (Since when is that a confession?)
[] I love Martha Stewart. (Lawd hep us, hep us all!)
[] I have loved someone. (I have loved lots of people and still, in fact, do. But I am assuming that this means been in love with someone, and I would hope that if I had, I would know it.)
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I despise it when people do that!!)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol (Communion wine counts right?)
[] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[] I have tried a cigarette. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day. In fact my pretend voice has suffered for it. I generally pretend to cough until about noon every day.)
[] I have smoked a pack in one day. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day...)
[] I loved Go Ask Alice. (I don't even know what that is.)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (What are you supposed to do? Throw away the surplus? Besides, sometimes people get random sore throats. It's something to keep on hand, like aspirin or Preparation H...)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have many scars. (A goodly number I suppose)
[] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (That depends. What kind of spider is it? A little harmless house spider or a big nasty, hirsute spider? Is it sitting peaceably in it's web up in the corner or is it roaming at large? So many variables...hard to say...)
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me. (I'm not sure how comfortable I could be being someone else, but then I have been someone else in dreams and I seemed quite comfortable. It is entirely possible that I would be comfortable being anybody...)
[] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[] Gotten lost in the city. (Turned around, yes. Lost, no.)
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Had a serious surgery. (Is the gallbladder removed serious?)
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a physical fight. (Heck yeah.)
[] Been arrested. (No, but I have ridden in a police car.)
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] Made out in an elevator.
[] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (I have kicked guys and from their reaction judged that it hurt. I have not kicked one in the testicles yet though.)
[] Been skydiving. (On the TTDBID list)
[] Been bungee jumping. (See above)
[x] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] Bitten someone. (I don't think I have....I might have...)
[] Been to Niagara Falls.
[] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Crashed into a car. (Not while I was driving, while I was a passenger once.)
[] Been to Japan. (On the list.)
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired. (Been begged to stay though.That's good for the ego, lemme tell ya.)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job. (Oh my goodness, in every job I've ever had it would have been so incredibly easy. Poor trusting fools...)
[] Gone on a blind date.
[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach. (Does blatant admiration/hero worship count?)
[] Been to Europe
[] Been married.
[] Gotten divorced. (I wanted to "x" this one just because the "been married" one was not checked.)
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[] Been to Canada.
[x] Been On A Plane. (I like that everything is capitalized for this one. I've also had control Of A Plane.)
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] Thrown up in a bar.
[] Eaten Sushi.
[] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed. (They call me Kamikaze but even I'm not that stupid. If I wanted to get killed I'd choose a less potentially painful mode of demise.)
[] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have
[x] Thought someone was interested in you
[] Mutually interested in that same person
And there ya have it folks! If you made it all the way down here I commend you. You have my respect. Maybe a little admiration thrown in for kicks. And a dash of awe to bring out the flavor.
[] I'm afraid of the quiet. (On the contrary, I'm rather a fan of quietude.)
[] I am really ticklish. (I don't think that I'm really ticklish. Somewhat ticklish yes, much more so as a child.)
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night. (I would prefer to see people before they see me, and thus would take the darker position if available, But I'm not obsessive about it.)
[] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Sorta?)
[] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[] I watch the news.
[] I own over 5 rap CDs. (Oh good gosh, when chickens have lips!)
[] I own something from Hot Topic. (I've passed it in the mall...)
[] I love Disney movies.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse sometimes (I have been known to utter the occasional expletive. Historically the majority of instances have had to do with my car or my school.)
[] I have "x"s in my screen name
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[] I love Spam. (Aaack, gag, choke.)
[x] I bake well.
[] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x]I have a job. (Since when is that a confession?)
[] I love Martha Stewart. (Lawd hep us, hep us all!)
[] I have loved someone. (I have loved lots of people and still, in fact, do. But I am assuming that this means been in love with someone, and I would hope that if I had, I would know it.)
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I despise it when people do that!!)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol (Communion wine counts right?)
[] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[] I have tried a cigarette. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day. In fact my pretend voice has suffered for it. I generally pretend to cough until about noon every day.)
[] I have smoked a pack in one day. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day...)
[] I loved Go Ask Alice. (I don't even know what that is.)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (What are you supposed to do? Throw away the surplus? Besides, sometimes people get random sore throats. It's something to keep on hand, like aspirin or Preparation H...)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have many scars. (A goodly number I suppose)
[] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (That depends. What kind of spider is it? A little harmless house spider or a big nasty, hirsute spider? Is it sitting peaceably in it's web up in the corner or is it roaming at large? So many variables...hard to say...)
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me. (I'm not sure how comfortable I could be being someone else, but then I have been someone else in dreams and I seemed quite comfortable. It is entirely possible that I would be comfortable being anybody...)
[] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[] Gotten lost in the city. (Turned around, yes. Lost, no.)
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Had a serious surgery. (Is the gallbladder removed serious?)
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a physical fight. (Heck yeah.)
[] Been arrested. (No, but I have ridden in a police car.)
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] Made out in an elevator.
[] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (I have kicked guys and from their reaction judged that it hurt. I have not kicked one in the testicles yet though.)
[] Been skydiving. (On the TTDBID list)
[] Been bungee jumping. (See above)
[x] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] Bitten someone. (I don't think I have....I might have...)
[] Been to Niagara Falls.
[] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Crashed into a car. (Not while I was driving, while I was a passenger once.)
[] Been to Japan. (On the list.)
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired. (Been begged to stay though.That's good for the ego, lemme tell ya.)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job. (Oh my goodness, in every job I've ever had it would have been so incredibly easy. Poor trusting fools...)
[] Gone on a blind date.
[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach. (Does blatant admiration/hero worship count?)
[] Been to Europe
[] Been married.
[] Gotten divorced. (I wanted to "x" this one just because the "been married" one was not checked.)
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[] Been to Canada.
[x] Been On A Plane. (I like that everything is capitalized for this one. I've also had control Of A Plane.)
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] Thrown up in a bar.
[] Eaten Sushi.
[] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed. (They call me Kamikaze but even I'm not that stupid. If I wanted to get killed I'd choose a less potentially painful mode of demise.)
[] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have
[x] Thought someone was interested in you
[] Mutually interested in that same person
And there ya have it folks! If you made it all the way down here I commend you. You have my respect. Maybe a little admiration thrown in for kicks. And a dash of awe to bring out the flavor.
Friday, July 20, 2007
You know what's funny?...
A lone penguin slipping on a banana peel on an ice shelf.
Recently (as in the past 2 days) I have been listening to some songs by a group called Aqua.
Are they a 90's dance/pop group? Yes.
Are their lyrics less then simplistic? Yes.
Are their songs packed full of sexual innuendos so transparent as to not even be entertaining? Yes.
Do they have catchy tunes? Yes.
Are a good number of their music videos on Youtube? Yes.
The ones that I like are Around the World (this is probably the best of them, and deviates from the double entendres template), Turn Back Time, Cartoon Heroes (very catchy, indeed), Roses are Red (inexplicably, it's almost annoying), and Barbie Girl is just plain entertaining. Apparently there was a lawsuit involving Mattel at some point. Fascinating.
In other news, in just a few short business days I should be receiving my very own, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, copy of the HBO series Band of Brothers. If you haven't seen it, I strongly urge you to make every attempt. Benji was kind enough to let me borrow his set for a couple weeks and they were good enough that I wanted my own. I am quite excited. It's a fantastic series, wonderfully done.
To you Regular Readers, I apologize for the lack of substantial posting of late. I know that this one little article about a band and a TV show is not exactly ground breaking, and certainly does not merit your patient, continued viewing of this site. But I still appreciate it immensely. And, hopefully, I will soon have time (not to mention a better subject) with which to write.
Until we meet again!
~ "Look Stan, maybe you don't realize what a moron you are but, as an objective observer, I can tell you that it is quite obnoxious. Insufferable even. In fact, I'm going to leave the room right now. No offense, it's just that you're an idiot, nothing personal now. No hard feelings right?" ~
~ Jared Evans, from the mind of Renee.
Recently (as in the past 2 days) I have been listening to some songs by a group called Aqua.
Are they a 90's dance/pop group? Yes.
Are their lyrics less then simplistic? Yes.
Are their songs packed full of sexual innuendos so transparent as to not even be entertaining? Yes.
Do they have catchy tunes? Yes.
Are a good number of their music videos on Youtube? Yes.
The ones that I like are Around the World (this is probably the best of them, and deviates from the double entendres template), Turn Back Time, Cartoon Heroes (very catchy, indeed), Roses are Red (inexplicably, it's almost annoying), and Barbie Girl is just plain entertaining. Apparently there was a lawsuit involving Mattel at some point. Fascinating.
In other news, in just a few short business days I should be receiving my very own, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, copy of the HBO series Band of Brothers. If you haven't seen it, I strongly urge you to make every attempt. Benji was kind enough to let me borrow his set for a couple weeks and they were good enough that I wanted my own. I am quite excited. It's a fantastic series, wonderfully done.
To you Regular Readers, I apologize for the lack of substantial posting of late. I know that this one little article about a band and a TV show is not exactly ground breaking, and certainly does not merit your patient, continued viewing of this site. But I still appreciate it immensely. And, hopefully, I will soon have time (not to mention a better subject) with which to write.
Until we meet again!
~ "Look Stan, maybe you don't realize what a moron you are but, as an objective observer, I can tell you that it is quite obnoxious. Insufferable even. In fact, I'm going to leave the room right now. No offense, it's just that you're an idiot, nothing personal now. No hard feelings right?" ~
~ Jared Evans, from the mind of Renee.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Hey, remember that time...
...we couldn't start a fire?
Ah, sweet memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages- ehem. Ok.
Once upon a time, so very long ago (last week), a couple of friends decided to start a fire. They wanted to sleep beside it outside underneath the twinkling stars. They wanted it to warm them and keep the bugs away. The friends gathered everything that they needed for their camp-out. The boy friends split lots of dry, dry wood with big axes. The girl friends gathered paper and cardboard and carrots and crisp bunches of hay.
The friends all congregated around the fire pit and went to work building the perfect cheery fire. But there was a problem. The crisp bunches of hay wouldn't stay lit. The cardboard and paper burned out without catching anything around them on fire. The dry, dry tinder didn't even singe. The carrots were no good at all.
One of the boy friends tried walking away from the fire pit, in case his aura was dousing the flames. It did no good. The other boy friend tried lighting alcohol hand sanitizer on fire and that did no good. It just burned right out.
20 minutes later, after many many failed attempts, one of the girl friends used up all of her allotment of talent and luck and expertise and pyro magic for that entire year and finally was able to get the fire to start burning.
The friends stacked lots of dry tinder and other flammable materials around their fire pit and soaked it with gasoline to make sure the fire didn't spread. Safety should always come first kids!
"You have no idea what this fire is incapable of!"
~ Brain Garwood
"Dear Pile of Flammable Things and Alcohol,
What the f**k!?
Sincerely,
Ryan"
~ Brain Garwood
Ah, sweet memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages- ehem. Ok.
Once upon a time, so very long ago (last week), a couple of friends decided to start a fire. They wanted to sleep beside it outside underneath the twinkling stars. They wanted it to warm them and keep the bugs away. The friends gathered everything that they needed for their camp-out. The boy friends split lots of dry, dry wood with big axes. The girl friends gathered paper and cardboard and carrots and crisp bunches of hay.
The friends all congregated around the fire pit and went to work building the perfect cheery fire. But there was a problem. The crisp bunches of hay wouldn't stay lit. The cardboard and paper burned out without catching anything around them on fire. The dry, dry tinder didn't even singe. The carrots were no good at all.
One of the boy friends tried walking away from the fire pit, in case his aura was dousing the flames. It did no good. The other boy friend tried lighting alcohol hand sanitizer on fire and that did no good. It just burned right out.
20 minutes later, after many many failed attempts, one of the girl friends used up all of her allotment of talent and luck and expertise and pyro magic for that entire year and finally was able to get the fire to start burning.
The friends stacked lots of dry tinder and other flammable materials around their fire pit and soaked it with gasoline to make sure the fire didn't spread. Safety should always come first kids!
"You have no idea what this fire is incapable of!"
~ Brain Garwood
"Dear Pile of Flammable Things and Alcohol,
What the f**k!?
Sincerely,
Ryan"
~ Brain Garwood
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Alone in a crowd...
~ Aiden entered the tiny cafe and did what he always did first. He stopped just inside the door and took a very deep breath. As always it smelled of coffee and chocolate and toasted bread and something else that always eluded him. Was it wood? A spice? Aiden never spent to long mulling over that, lest he ruin it by actually recognizing the scent.
It was a small place, tucked in between two buildings with a tiny sign out front that, though bad for hauling in more patron base, was good in the respect that the place was always quite, never crowded, and the people that were there you'd probably seen there many, many times before.
As it was such a long and narrow space the few seats near the bank of windows in the front were taken almost continually. Aiden was ok with that. He preferred to sit farther back, in one of the invitingly dim, by comparison at least, nooks or crannies. Today though he wasn't alone and not likely to want to sit in an isolated nook watching the world spin about him, while his own personal time stood still in its continuum. This time he went to one of the tables at the front, delicately sun splashed and miraculously uninhabited. He gestured Jacob to a chair.
“So what do you think? I've always liked this place. Found it by almost getting hit by a car.” Jacob glanced around and shot a charmingly casual smile at the cashier.
“Oh yeah? Nice place.”
The cashier blushed in an incredibly adolescent manner and went back to mixing the latte for the customer at the counter. She promptly messed up the order, blushed again and started over. Jacob tactfully didn't notice and scanned the large blackboard that the menu was scrawled on.
"So, what's good here?" ~
~ I made this!
Update: I am currently on page 16 of the would be manuscript. That is roughly a tenth of the size of an "average" novel. So far I think that it's going well. The pacing can be scary. The reassuring thing is that with the kind of format that I've used so far I think that I could go back and insert some additional scenes, should the central plot line end up shorter then I intended. I am constantly hit by tiny modules of panicked worry that this endeavor will not only come to nothing because of the fact that I am making a point of writing, but that I will also completely ruin the story because I rushed it. Hopefully I am wrong on both counts. I have gone back and rewritten one scene that I was not happy with. That was somewhat reassuring. Nothing is permanent.
It was a small place, tucked in between two buildings with a tiny sign out front that, though bad for hauling in more patron base, was good in the respect that the place was always quite, never crowded, and the people that were there you'd probably seen there many, many times before.
As it was such a long and narrow space the few seats near the bank of windows in the front were taken almost continually. Aiden was ok with that. He preferred to sit farther back, in one of the invitingly dim, by comparison at least, nooks or crannies. Today though he wasn't alone and not likely to want to sit in an isolated nook watching the world spin about him, while his own personal time stood still in its continuum. This time he went to one of the tables at the front, delicately sun splashed and miraculously uninhabited. He gestured Jacob to a chair.
“So what do you think? I've always liked this place. Found it by almost getting hit by a car.” Jacob glanced around and shot a charmingly casual smile at the cashier.
“Oh yeah? Nice place.”
The cashier blushed in an incredibly adolescent manner and went back to mixing the latte for the customer at the counter. She promptly messed up the order, blushed again and started over. Jacob tactfully didn't notice and scanned the large blackboard that the menu was scrawled on.
"So, what's good here?" ~
~ I made this!
Update: I am currently on page 16 of the would be manuscript. That is roughly a tenth of the size of an "average" novel. So far I think that it's going well. The pacing can be scary. The reassuring thing is that with the kind of format that I've used so far I think that I could go back and insert some additional scenes, should the central plot line end up shorter then I intended. I am constantly hit by tiny modules of panicked worry that this endeavor will not only come to nothing because of the fact that I am making a point of writing, but that I will also completely ruin the story because I rushed it. Hopefully I am wrong on both counts. I have gone back and rewritten one scene that I was not happy with. That was somewhat reassuring. Nothing is permanent.
Friday, June 29, 2007
As good as it gets...
~ It was Charlene Farrisworth's job to shush people, and she took great pride in that.
She'd gone to great lengths to become the stereotypical librarian. She'd dyed her hair gray, wearing it in a tight bun on the back of her head. She wore dowdy cardigans and tweed skirts. She wore bulky oxfords and thick glasses which she'd had to have specially made, her natural vision was 20/20. She was madly obsessive about her obscenely obsolete card catalog, going through it at least 5 times a week to check for misplaced or damaged cards.
Her favorite ritual of all though, was the stamping of the "date due" cards. At the front of her desk, in a neat semi-circle, stood all the required paraphernalia. Blank cards, manipulable rubber stamp, a fresh ink pad.
With relish (and taking her time, the patron could wait) Ms Farrisworth would reverently open the pad, double check the date on the stamp, gently ink it and then abruptly, and with a good measure of muscle behind it, brand the numbers on the virgin card. Tucking it lovingly and snugly into the pocket and snapping the book shut Ms Farrisworth would hand it to the patron, take on an almost disdainful tilt of the head and say her favorite line in all the world.
"That will be due back in 3 weeks." ~
~ From my world
She'd gone to great lengths to become the stereotypical librarian. She'd dyed her hair gray, wearing it in a tight bun on the back of her head. She wore dowdy cardigans and tweed skirts. She wore bulky oxfords and thick glasses which she'd had to have specially made, her natural vision was 20/20. She was madly obsessive about her obscenely obsolete card catalog, going through it at least 5 times a week to check for misplaced or damaged cards.
Her favorite ritual of all though, was the stamping of the "date due" cards. At the front of her desk, in a neat semi-circle, stood all the required paraphernalia. Blank cards, manipulable rubber stamp, a fresh ink pad.
With relish (and taking her time, the patron could wait) Ms Farrisworth would reverently open the pad, double check the date on the stamp, gently ink it and then abruptly, and with a good measure of muscle behind it, brand the numbers on the virgin card. Tucking it lovingly and snugly into the pocket and snapping the book shut Ms Farrisworth would hand it to the patron, take on an almost disdainful tilt of the head and say her favorite line in all the world.
"That will be due back in 3 weeks." ~
~ From my world
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Caffeine is a catalyst...
I spent yesterday evening hanging out with Jenny in the Village Coffee House, sipping a latte and working on the previously stated goal of writing a book. I thought that it went quite well. Seeing our location we felt it necessary (it was Jenny's idea and I am extremely impressionable and emulative) to utilize the same AIM away message that Benji usually employs. Namely: "At the Village Coffee House."
This conversation with Paul ensued (I've left every single typo of mine in for effect. And because if I made a point of editing them out and still missed some, well, that would just make me look stupid.)
captderiv (10:41:10 PM):
Benji!
joyful zephyr (10:41:07 PM):
At the Village Coffee House.
captderiv (10:41:21 PM):
I'd recognize that trademark away message anywhere
captderiv (10:41:34 PM):
So how'd you h4><04rz Renee's account?
joyful zephyr (10:42:02 PM):
ok, you've figured it out. Benji and Renee are in fact the same person. That is why we have never been seen in a room together.
captderiv (10:42:32 PM):
...
captderiv (10:42:37 PM):
It all makes sense now
captderiv (10:43:02 PM):
In hindsight, I should've recognized the signs when we were roommates
captderiv (10:43:14 PM):
All the nudity and yogurt was a clever cover
joyful zephyr (10:43:38 PM):
Yup, women and Benji like yogurt
joyful zephyr (10:43:41 PM):
and nudity
joyful zephyr (10:45:35 PM):
It's either that explanation or this one: Benji is my hero and I absolutely worship the ground that he walks on. I emulate his every move and am a this very moment worshiping the chair that he sits at in the Temple of Village.
joyful zephyr (10:45:54 PM):
You can take your pick really.
joyful zephyr (10:46:02 PM):
captderiv (10:47:44 PM):
You'd *like* to pick one or the other, wouldn't you?
captderiv (10:48:01 PM):
When in fact, the answer is... *both*!
captderiv (10:49:31 PM):
What better way to bootstrap your new Benjiist cult?
joyful zephyr (10:50:17 PM):
damn, all my attemps at redirecting your attention are repeatedly foiled!
captderiv (10:51:12 PM):
You can't get anything past me!
captderiv (10:51:19 PM):
Um, except for the Benji/Renee duality.
captderiv (10:51:33 PM):
But I'm sure that's the only exception, ever.
joyful zephyr (10:51:59 PM):
Word on the streets has it that there is a first time for everything.
captderiv (10:52:50 PM):
First time I've heard the streets say that.
joyful zephyr (10:54:16 PM):
oh yeah? They're quite talkative once you get to know them
captderiv (10:55:55 PM):
The streets talking isn't the problem
captderiv (10:56:01 PM):
You can't shut them up half the time
captderiv (10:56:14 PM):
It's just that most of the time they talk about the most inane stuff you could imagine
captderiv (10:56:37 PM):
I've just gotten used to tuning them out, I guess
Later...
captderiv (11:13:57 PM):
Apparently I can spell correctly but can't do simple arithmetic anymore
joyful zephyr (11:14:14 PM):
well we all have out moment in the sun
joyful zephyr (11:14:26 PM):
If you're a dog you get one day
captderiv (11:14:43 PM):
But at least that's seven days in, um, dog days
captderiv (11:15:12 PM):
Or is the phrase already adjusted for that?
captderiv (11:15:31 PM):
Maybe every dog only really gets 3.43 hours
captderiv (11:15:43 PM):
But, being a dog, doesn't know any better
joyful zephyr (11:16:11 PM):
And you claim that you've used up your simple arithmetic skills!
captderiv (11:16:34 PM):
I busted out my use-my-computer's-calculator skills
joyful zephyr (11:17:19 PM):
always handy. Especially if you have to survive in the wilderness.
captderiv (11:17:41 PM):
Well, I can program my own calculator, you know
joyful zephyr (11:17:51 PM):
I do know. I saw that blog post!
captderiv (11:17:58 PM):
Building a computer out of twigs and leaves, that's the part I haven't figured out yet
joyful zephyr (11:18:29 PM):
Perhaps with more time to run trials.
captderiv (11:18:57 PM):
I tried submitting another NSF grant application, but they stopped returning my calls
joyful zephyr (11:19:35 PM):
a discourging setback indeed
joyful zephyr (11:20:18 PM):
but let not your heart be downcast! Forge ahead, tread heavily where angels wear hobnailed boots, attempthe impossible!
captderiv (11:20:50 PM):
Who are you calling an attempthe?
Much later still...
joyful zephyr (12:00:38 AM):
I believe that I may post that entire converation that transpired between us on my blog. It highly amused me. I laughed aloud at a few points. Do you mind transcripts of your conversations being randomly posted on small, backwater sites? Check yes or no:
The next day...
captderiv (11:09:51 AM):
( ) Yes (X) No ( ) Buchanan
It made me laugh.
The other day I had a moment of discouragement wondering how the heck I would ever write a book. Was the story premise good enough to expand to novel size and would my making a point of writing cause me to write really badly? Then I realized something. Whether or not this turns out good, I can still say that I wrote a book in the end!
Last night I took the story in a direction that I'd never thought about before. I think it turned out really good and supplied a whole new vein of potential. I really believe that I can do this.
Guess I should go tell Benji that we're the same person now.
~ captderiv (11:32:27 PM):
I never knew high voltage and old lace were interchangeable ~
This conversation with Paul ensued (I've left every single typo of mine in for effect. And because if I made a point of editing them out and still missed some, well, that would just make me look stupid.)
captderiv (10:41:10 PM):
Benji!
joyful zephyr (10:41:07 PM):
At the Village Coffee House.
captderiv (10:41:21 PM):
I'd recognize that trademark away message anywhere
captderiv (10:41:34 PM):
So how'd you h4><04rz Renee's account?
joyful zephyr (10:42:02 PM):
ok, you've figured it out. Benji and Renee are in fact the same person. That is why we have never been seen in a room together.
captderiv (10:42:32 PM):
...
captderiv (10:42:37 PM):
It all makes sense now
captderiv (10:43:02 PM):
In hindsight, I should've recognized the signs when we were roommates
captderiv (10:43:14 PM):
All the nudity and yogurt was a clever cover
joyful zephyr (10:43:38 PM):
Yup, women and Benji like yogurt
joyful zephyr (10:43:41 PM):
and nudity
joyful zephyr (10:45:35 PM):
It's either that explanation or this one: Benji is my hero and I absolutely worship the ground that he walks on. I emulate his every move and am a this very moment worshiping the chair that he sits at in the Temple of Village.
joyful zephyr (10:45:54 PM):
You can take your pick really.
joyful zephyr (10:46:02 PM):
captderiv (10:47:44 PM):
You'd *like* to pick one or the other, wouldn't you?
captderiv (10:48:01 PM):
When in fact, the answer is... *both*!
captderiv (10:49:31 PM):
What better way to bootstrap your new Benjiist cult?
joyful zephyr (10:50:17 PM):
damn, all my attemps at redirecting your attention are repeatedly foiled!
captderiv (10:51:12 PM):
You can't get anything past me!
captderiv (10:51:19 PM):
Um, except for the Benji/Renee duality.
captderiv (10:51:33 PM):
But I'm sure that's the only exception, ever.
joyful zephyr (10:51:59 PM):
Word on the streets has it that there is a first time for everything.
captderiv (10:52:50 PM):
First time I've heard the streets say that.
joyful zephyr (10:54:16 PM):
oh yeah? They're quite talkative once you get to know them
captderiv (10:55:55 PM):
The streets talking isn't the problem
captderiv (10:56:01 PM):
You can't shut them up half the time
captderiv (10:56:14 PM):
It's just that most of the time they talk about the most inane stuff you could imagine
captderiv (10:56:37 PM):
I've just gotten used to tuning them out, I guess
Later...
captderiv (11:13:57 PM):
Apparently I can spell correctly but can't do simple arithmetic anymore
joyful zephyr (11:14:14 PM):
well we all have out moment in the sun
joyful zephyr (11:14:26 PM):
If you're a dog you get one day
captderiv (11:14:43 PM):
But at least that's seven days in, um, dog days
captderiv (11:15:12 PM):
Or is the phrase already adjusted for that?
captderiv (11:15:31 PM):
Maybe every dog only really gets 3.43 hours
captderiv (11:15:43 PM):
But, being a dog, doesn't know any better
joyful zephyr (11:16:11 PM):
And you claim that you've used up your simple arithmetic skills!
captderiv (11:16:34 PM):
I busted out my use-my-computer's-calculator skills
joyful zephyr (11:17:19 PM):
always handy. Especially if you have to survive in the wilderness.
captderiv (11:17:41 PM):
Well, I can program my own calculator, you know
joyful zephyr (11:17:51 PM):
I do know. I saw that blog post!
captderiv (11:17:58 PM):
Building a computer out of twigs and leaves, that's the part I haven't figured out yet
joyful zephyr (11:18:29 PM):
Perhaps with more time to run trials.
captderiv (11:18:57 PM):
I tried submitting another NSF grant application, but they stopped returning my calls
joyful zephyr (11:19:35 PM):
a discourging setback indeed
joyful zephyr (11:20:18 PM):
but let not your heart be downcast! Forge ahead, tread heavily where angels wear hobnailed boots, attempthe impossible!
captderiv (11:20:50 PM):
Who are you calling an attempthe?
Much later still...
joyful zephyr (12:00:38 AM):
I believe that I may post that entire converation that transpired between us on my blog. It highly amused me. I laughed aloud at a few points. Do you mind transcripts of your conversations being randomly posted on small, backwater sites? Check yes or no:
The next day...
captderiv (11:09:51 AM):
( ) Yes (X) No ( ) Buchanan
It made me laugh.
The other day I had a moment of discouragement wondering how the heck I would ever write a book. Was the story premise good enough to expand to novel size and would my making a point of writing cause me to write really badly? Then I realized something. Whether or not this turns out good, I can still say that I wrote a book in the end!
Last night I took the story in a direction that I'd never thought about before. I think it turned out really good and supplied a whole new vein of potential. I really believe that I can do this.
Guess I should go tell Benji that we're the same person now.
~ captderiv (11:32:27 PM):
I never knew high voltage and old lace were interchangeable ~
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