Friday, August 21, 2009

It's not the final destination...

This past Sunday I spent a day at the state fair that culminated in a concert by Journey! With me was friend and fellow Journey aficionado, Jamie. On our way into the Indiana Fair Grounds we saw a big, light-up road sign that we felt started the day off on the right leg. "Enjoe Tethe Fair".
We strolled through most of the livestock barns, midway, and a couple of the exhibit buildings, with various breaks to eat some fried foods (what state fairs are all about!) and drink claustrophobic root beer. Things we did not eat include: Pork or Chicken On-A-Stick, fried Oreos, fried pizza, fried Pepsi, Fiddle Sticks, Dippin' Dots, Hot Wisconsin Cheese, chocolate covered bacon, Ribbon Fries with or without barbecued pork, sausage, sour cream, cheese, or bacon. Things we did eat include: funnel cake, corn dogs, and honey ice cream (delicious by the way.)
We got to see several classes of Draft Horse Competition and part of a goat show before hitting the grandstand 40 minutes before the concert was set to begin and after laughing at the fact that Jamie's seat was actually right behind a pillar (which I may or may not have predicted when he called dibs on Seat 37 back in March), we noticed that the sign on the pillar actually said "Section 5" and we were supposed to be in 6, so sadly no blocked view for Jamie.
Heart opened and even though I don't count myself among the throngs of hardened Heart fans, it was still enjoyable. Also very, very loud. They need to talk to their soundman though; there was a bit of distortion. But that's none of my business.
Right after Heart left the stage and while most of the audience was cheering for more, someone caught a glimpse of Ross Valory walking between the trailers and started cheering for him instead, so he stopped to give a bow and some funny poses, which really made the audience's day. I'm not saying that Heart doesn't have a good following, I'm sure that they do, but I do find it incredibly amusing that the bassist for Journey alone got louder cheers. To be perfectly honest the calls for a Heart encore had already died down a bit before Valory was spotted, but still.
Heart came back on for a 2 song encore and then there was a brief intermission while the stage set-up was changed.
And incidentally, again no offense to Heart, but Journey knows how to do a stage. We're talking banks of lights, rows of amps, stepped drum riser, Revelation album art floor covering, projectors, and a Fortress o' Keyboards flanked by a grand piano. Journey is not worried about conserving electricity. The downside of all those flashy lights is that they did confuse my camera quite a lot, so I ended up with a slew of very blurry and quite psychedelic photos (a few of which that can be made sense of, plus others from that day, can be found on Phasebook.)
Arnel Pineda (whom Jamie and I have affectionately nicknamed Zippy; 'cause he loves to jump around and dance so much) was great. He does love one move that comes close to a pelvic thrust, but he's got the blood of a showman, that's for sure. I think that he fits in very well with the rest of the band and the style of music. Fantastic voice. But I've covered that before.
Now, anybody who listens can tell from his music that Neal Schon (second biggest music crush!) does some amazing fingerwork to get the ridiculously fast note sequences in some of the songs that Journey does, but to watch that in action on the big screens was fantastic. Neal Schon's hands are magic, that's all I have to say. He's amazing. He's also a lot of fun to watch and obviously loves what he's doing, as do all of them.
Bit disappointed that Castronovo didn't sing lead on anything. On the concert DVD that I have he does the lead vocals for "Mother, Father" on top of playing drums and he's really fantastic. Of course he was fantastic just playing drums for this concert too. You know who else was fantastic? Jon Cain, that's who. He did a couple of short piano solos that were truly, truly great and also played backup guitar on a lot of songs. I had no idea that he played guitar as well. He's got some mad skillz. There were in fact several pleasantly surprising instrumentals in this concert that I'm not sure have been recorded. At least, I haven't heard them on an album. Anyway, they were great.
After a good hour and 45 minute set they left the stage and we all clapped and yelled and stomped our feet until they came back out for an encore. They did a long instrumental number and then "Any Way You Want It" with extended guitar and drum solos. After their encore all five band members lined up at the front edge of the stage to wave and bow and clap back at us before exiting, stage right, single file. Trailing the others by a couple of yards and sporting a funny, bustling sort of walk was of course, Ross Valory. "Oh Ross! He's such a kidder!"
As it was already getting on past 11pm when the concert let out we left pretty quickly, though we did pause to consider the possibility of riding the ferris wheel now that it was dark out, but decided against it and got out of the fairgrounds faster than I thought we would. About 10 or 15 miles out of Indy we passed a nondescript bus and then another one, so I mention to Jamie the fact those those buses look an awful lot like the nondescript tour buses that had been parked behind Journey's stage area. And that the band had in fact left with the quickness. And oh hey, I think that Journey is supposed to play in Illinois or Iowa or something in the next day or two. You don't think...?
Then we passed a third bus. Yeah, that has to be them is what I'm thinking. Quite a coincidence if it isn't. But naturally without substantiated evidence the sighting wouldn't be peer-review worthy. And then we come up on a fourth bus that happens to have a window on our side. A window with a light in it. As we begin to draw up to pass this bus I go ahead and make a generic joke about maybe being able to see Neal Schon inside and then I get a look in the window and who do you think is sitting there? No, not David Duchovny. Arnel Pineda! So I yell something along the lines of: "OH MY GOSH IT IS HIM!" At that moment I remembered my joke from only a second before so I amended (in a slightly more reasonable tone o' voice) "Oh, not Neal Schon, I mean it's Zippy! I saw Zippy!"
By this point we were actually already past the bus so I say to Jamie, "Do you think we should slow down and wave?" and he says, "Kinda, definitely yes." So we did, but only briefly so as not to be a danger to ourselves or others, so I can't say as he saw us, but we tried.
The concert was totally and completely awesome, but knowing for a fact that we were within a meager three yards of Journey, well that was the amazingly creamy, soft, enticing icing on the otherwise delicious cupcake that was the day. The whole thing could totally be a Mastercard commercial.
So thank you Indiana: We did enjoe tethe fair. We enjoed it very much.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

As It Seems

~ Jeffrey Adams crawled out of the crater that he’d been using as a foxhole and peered around at the desolation; surprisingly even more nightmarish in the stark light of day. Not a thing stirred and as he let the ruined shards of his armor fall away from his body they clattered to the stony, decimated earth like gunshots. It was the only sound to be heard and Jeffrey winced.

He started to step away, but paused to look back. In his shocked state Jeffrey found in himself an almost crippling reticence to leave the bits of armor and the burrow that had shielded and protected his life through the long and terrible night. He dragged his gaze away from the ground and scanned the horizon for movement.

Nothing.

Scorched blisters marred the vast expanse of earth everywhere between the few mutilated skeletons of ancient trees that had somehow remained standing. They were gone now. It was all gone now.

“War ruins everything,” Jeffrey thought with surreal clarity. He finally pulled himself together as best he could, and moved off in a westerly direction. He had no reason for choosing to go west. He had no reason not to go west.

Deep within his body a handful of miniscule bots worked hard to control and repair organ and tissue damage, but it was a battle that was being slowly and inevitably lost. His armor had successfully shielded him from the first dozen hits before breaches began to occur. Tiny fissures and cracks grew with every subsequent blast, leaving his vulnerable body bare to the insidious waves of radiation. Particles too small and too fast to at first be noticed by the bots ripped through Jeffrey’s body, leaving paths of torn and shredded cells in their wake. This is what the bots noticed, and by extrapolation came to the conclusion that the body was under attack. They rushed to secure the function of the brain and other critical organs, but even as they did, heavily damaged cells were dying or mutating everywhere.

Mercifully, Jeffrey couldn’t feel any pain yet, and he continued to walk, staggering through the erstwhile battlefield, vacantly looking for other survivors on the way. The bots continually triggered the systems in his body to release enormous amounts of endorphins, attempting to keep his stress levels down. The hormones coursing through his body, added to the traumatic shock and lack of food, water, and sleep combined to leave Jeffrey disconnected and slightly giddy. He stumbled over an arm lying at the edge of a blast site and he inexplicably giggled.

“You’re a horrible person,” he told himself.

“I’m sorry, but I was ‘disarmed’ for a moment!” he responded in his mind. He snorted again and moved on, stepping over the body that corresponded to the arm, some eight feet away. There wasn’t much left of it. Jeffrey suddenly doubled over and began retching violently, his entire abdomen heaving. The bots had finally lost their hold on subduing his stomach and wave after wave of nausea and dizziness washed over him. Thick stomach acid, tinged red with blood, seared his throat as it was forced up from his otherwise empty belly.

After several minutes the nausea subsided just enough for Jeffrey to stand back up. It was integral that he find water, food, and medical help immediately but none of those things entered his delusional mind, so he simply continued to walk. All around him was vast, desolate emptiness and hours later, when he finally could walk no more, Jeffrey collapsed with his back against the still smoldering side of an unearthed boulder. His arms and legs trembled with false chills while his core temperature soared far beyond dangerously high. His hands were clammy and numb and bloody lesions had begun opening up on his skin.

Beyond his consciousness the bots prepared for their last stand. His body was fading fast. No one must capture the secrets of the state. Each bot, mindlessly triggered by the dying processes in Jeffrey’s body, prepared a tiny, but incredibly powerful detonating reaction within themselves. In perfect synchronization the microscopic bombs ignited. For a moment, just the briefest of moments, Jeffrey did feel pain. Inexplicable pain. But that subsided into nothingness soon enough. The bots were gone, taking with them every last thread of hope and leaving a surprisingly large amount of damage in the delicate body they had been charged with.

Jeffrey’s body slumped to the side, a single chilling groan escaping through parted lips as the weight of his dead mass forced the air in his lungs past his larynx. The secrets of the state were safe. There was no one left to try to capture them anyway. ~

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Ode to the choice...

Having reached the place where I have almost completed my psychology and philosophy degrees, I have begun looking to the future, and right now I'm not incredibly happy with what I see as my current options. (Curse my high expectations for life!) So where can I go from here? 'Here' being next May when I am slated for graduation of course.
Well, I could take some time off from school and look for a full time job. Not too hip with that plan. I've always intended on grad school and with the current economy looking for a new job and allowing loans to come due doesn't sound like the smartest choice I could make.
I could push down any misgivings I have and go ahead and apply to psych grad schools, cross my fingers and hope for the best. But hoping for the best isn't really a strategy that I like to rely on that heavily.
And thirdly, I could stay at Purdue and go for yet another undergrad degree! If I did that then I would probably get either just a BS in physics or a BS in applied physics with a specialty in astrophysics. If I were to go with that second option it would open another door because after you get that degree you can apply to Purdue's one year master's program in ApplPhys if you want to.
I think, having looked over the numbers, I could get a physics degree in about 2 years. Maybe a bit less. The applied physics would take longer because of the extra "applied electives" (astronomy in my case.) That would probably take 3 years. Am I willing to do that? More importantly, am I able to do that? I don't know. And there's the problem. I'm a little lost. Well more than a little.
Can anyone sell me a map?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

An introduction...

...to Jiff.
On Tuesday I saw Jiff in the little adoption center that they have at Petsmart when I was picking up parakeet food, and on Thursday I went back and brought him home.
I'll like just about any animal that I meet and will get attached to most of them very quickly given the chance, but there have been a few that I've loved almost immediately and Jiffy is one of them. He's a total sweetheart and a very good boy. He's also absolutely adorable. According to his paperwork he got the name of Jiff because when he was brought into the clinic he had a peanut butter jar stuck on his head.
I've noticed that he is very careful with his claws. He hasn't scratched me yet, even when I've played with him with my hand. He'll bat at it, but keep his claws in. I appreciate that in cats. And people.
Kitty isn't quite happy with him yet, but she's getting there. Once she's used to him I know she'll like having someone to play with again, and he definitely likes to play. The vet thinks that he's about a year old, and he still very much acts like a kitten in a lot ways. He loves to play in between the chair legs underneath the kitchen table. Jiff is a tubkitty; he thinks the (dry) bath is a great place to take a nap.

I'm absolutely sure I made the right choice when I decided to go back for him. I love my Jiffy so much, and I'm pretty sure that he's very happy too.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Hoorah for freeviewing...

Being a pretty big fan of stereo photographs, I've been thinking for a while about trying to take some myself. Last night I took a few snap shots of things on our coffee table to try and get a feel for what would be the correct angle and distance between the two shots in order to make a stereo. Another trick is to size and level the two shots beside one another just right. To my surprise and delight, after one or two tries I got a couple of good ones!
Today I was looking at some of the pictures I took while on a garden tour with my grandfather, and I came across three pictures of a purple iris that I took, two of which were very similar, with just a tiny bit of angle difference, so I tried aligning them, and voila, three dimensions! I am pretty delighted with the way this turned out.




If you'd like some pointers on freeviewing a stereo or how to take a stereo picture, I suggest reading: http://www.brianmay.com/brian/brianssb/stereo_freeview.html (where I got my information for trying this.) I also find it a little easier to freeview when the photo is a bit larger, so clicking on the picture to blow it up might help. If you'd like to see more stereo pictures, I would suggest going to http://www.brianmay.com/ and browsing back through his Soapbox archives to see some of the ones he's posted. They're pretty awesome.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Reviewin' stuff is painless...

I just recently purchased Journey's newly released album and finally put it on today to give it a good listen while I was straightening up. I was definitely fully prepared to be obnoxiously critical and overtly dissatisfied with the entire project, either because I felt the band was ruined by some strange new sound, or that Arnel Pineda was at best a rough imitator of Steve Perry. So what's the verdict on 'Revelation'?
I love it. I have not been so completely pleased with an album for a very long time. I'm blown away with the songwriting, instrumental work, and not least of all, Mr. Pineda's singing. Yes, you could probably convince someone who didn't know any better that it is Steve Perry singing; his timber and range are extremely similar, but I think that there is enough subtle difference there that he definitely has his own voice. Regardless, he his a very strong vocalist.
Being a person that has not heard any of Schon's guitar work that is younger than a couple of decades, I was pleased no end with the caliber of sound that he brings to this album. Really great, complex solos and backing, not to mention that he is at least a contributor, if not the primary writer on just about all of the new material. I feel like he brought new talent and technique to these songs without completely changing his old playing style. Just excellent all around. Fantastic work as well from Cain, Castronova, and Valory on keyboard, drums, and bass respectively.
In short, this album is pure gold. And that's just the first disk. Also included is a concert DVD and a second CD with the current band playing some of the old Journey classics. If I had to choose favorites I might say that "Never Walk Away", "Wildest Dream", and "Where Did I Lose Your Love" are at the top of the list, but that's a hard call to make.
To sum up: Yes, yes, yes.
This makes me that much more excited to be seeing them in concert in August. And I was already set to rock.
Again, delighted with this album. Way to go Journey.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Saturday

A gasp in the night
Never claustrophobic before
Pressing darkness
Try to hold it back
Mind against an army of feeling
Thought to distract
Not very good at it
Replay the day
Analyze the moment
Make it stop
Will sleep never come

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Things of note...

As some of you may be aware, I flew to Washington, DC for part of my spring break. A trip that was facilitated mightily by the generosity of my friend Paul. Thanks Paul. How did the bird spikes work out? (On the Monday or Tuesday of my trip there may or may not have been a "fire" in one of the "bunkers" in the "complex" where "Paul" works. It was all very exciting.)
One of the high points for me was giving a lady directions in the subway. She wanted to know how to get to the Red Line, and by gosh, I could tell her. Even though I like fitting in almost as much as the next guy, I still think that I couldn't have looked more like a tourist if I'd worn an Hawaiian shirt and a fanny pack that said "I Heart New York" on it. But maybe I'm wrong.
I went to all kinds of places, learned interesting things, and silently observed several instances of misinformation. It was great. My favorite places, if I had to put them in some sort of order, would probably be: Arlington Cemetery, US Botanic Garden, Smithsonian Natural History Museum, Smithsonian Castle, Smithsonian Air ampersand Space Museum, and the National Mall, to name a few. Favorite monument: Most likely a tie between the Vietnam and WWII memorials.
Near as I can figure, the only problem with DC is the high ratio of 7th and 8th graders that harried teacher chaperones are valiantly and vainly trying to mind bash a sense of significance into. "This is historic, damn it!"
Thanks to Paul I experienced bonafide Maryland crab cake. But they're just plain crab cakes there. I didn't see the President, but I did see the door to the Speaker o' the House's office. I didn't expect to enjoy my tour of the Capitol as much as I did, and the "water feature" outside of the Native American Museum was amazing. I was just wondering to myself the other night why I didn't take pictures of it, and I think perhaps my camera was dead by then. Either that or I forgot I had a camera strapped to my side.
I like the movie 'O Brother, Where Art Thou'.
The semester is over now and I guess that I am satisfied with my grades overall. They were pretty much what I expected I suppose. No big surprises, which is good. Right now I am faced with some huge academic decisions, but I'll save that for another post, as this one is already edging towards the cliffs of Quite Long Enough.
Shiloh and I went to see 'Monsters vs. Aliens' and we thought it was pretty dang good. We laughed and ate nachos. I'm expecting great things out of 'Up'; I can't wait until that comes out. If it's as good as the previews I'll be delighted. If it's not as good as the previews then what the deuce Pixar?

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

This is new...

Well this morning I showed up for my PSY 484 final, but as it got close to 10:20 there was no professor, so we waited. And then the TA came along and told us to hang in there and she'd see what was going on. After another ten minutes she came back.
"The good news is," she said. "You don't have to take a 484 final. You're grade will be caculated using your papers, presentation, and other exams."
So yeah, first time that's happened to me.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Music thingies...

Art Garfunkel's voice has what I'd call, at the risk of sounding far too poetic, a kind of luminosity. A capacity to draw a person in and encompass them completely. Combine that with the fact that even on the high notes he can maintain an impressive vocal strength and you've got a winner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv0gU197IKk&feature=related

I also have to say that he has what may be some of the kindest looking eyes in the business (I really do believe that he is on my side when times get rough and friends just can't be found.) And that's saying something because I have a gigantic music-crush on Brian May, and he has beautiful eyes. For serious.

In other news, Journey is going to be playing at both the Indiana and Kentucky State Fairs in August. Might have to see if I can be there for one or both of those concerts. I'm sure it wouldn't be quite the same as the Journey I know, aka with Steve Perry, but as I understand it the new kid sounds freakishly similar to him and Neal Schon is still there. I think we all know by now that I tend to favor the guitar players anyway. What can I say? Music is sexy.



"What up, my home slices!?"
~ Rabon

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I has a camera...

Series A: The Opiate of the Masses







Monday, February 09, 2009

Above the influence? Not me! That's right, 25 friggin' random things...

One of the latest things going around The Phasebook. Figured I'd at least get double duty out of it.

*Sigh*

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose at least 25 people to be tagged. When you've done that, make me a sandwich. Do what The Facebook orders. Resistance is futile. You will be Face-imilated.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I love water. The look, the sound, the feel, the smell. Lakes and ponds and streams and rivers and pools and fountains and bathtubs and showers and rain. Combine any of those things and the fondness just increases.

2. I can smell that milk is going bad days before the expiration date.

3. I've had a horse *jump* on my foot. Twice.

4. A blue ribbon was always a letdown to me in 4-H.

5. I never got anything better than a blue ribbon in 4-H.

6. I own enough seasons of Stargate SG-1 to classify me as a pretty hardcore fan. I draw the line at fan fiction.

7. I buy things for my little brother's dog. There are few things as rewarding as the look on her face when I tell her that I have something for her.

8. Of the sciences, physics and astronomy are my great loves. Sometimes I miss being in physics so much that it hurts a little. That's when I go "What the deuce am I doing with my life?"

9. I've worked four jobs in my life, and only been interviewed twice.

10. I've rarely met an animal that I didn't like. I've met a fair number of people that I didn't like.

11. I cannot stand the smell of alcohol.

12. I'm not the World's Greatest Speller, but it irks me when people abuse one word multiple times. Makes me think that they believe that they have it right or they just don't care. I've had A Person Who Shall Remain Nameless tell me that I am "versitul" several times in one IM session.

13. I would stab someone to fly in a really fast jet. I'm not sure how or when it's going to happen, but it is going to happen. Flying a jet that is, not stabbing someone. But you know, if need be...

14. Sometimes I am much more competitive than I should be.

15. I have seen three total lunar eclipses and each one was a completely unique experience.

16. I am infinitely more willing to clean a barn than my own room. I'd clean a barn for funzies.

17. When I worked in a learning and memory research lab I got a little attached to one rat. Seventeen was always sweet and curious and maybe I should have tried to smuggle him out...

18. I don't see myself as a woman. I see myself as a person.

19. I have been afraid of the dark (more appropriately, what might be *in* the dark) inside. Not outside. I *love* the darkness outside.

20. Since I was a tiny, tiny child I wanted a horse more than anything. After having had my horse(s) for over 7 years now, to this day I still occasionally go "Oh my gosh. I have a horse!!"

21. When confronted by large, angry people, my immediate response is not to run, but to get angry back and take an offensive strategy. Oh, I get all up in their grillz with The Righteous Indignation.

22. I get so excited about new phones, automatic carwashes, mail, pretty rocks, and holidays.

23. I love fire. Playing with it. Nurturing it. Just watching it. Fire and me, we're pretty cool with each other in general.

24. This year we did not celebrate my birthday until several days after the actual date. I did not feel that I was any older until I had had my presents and cake.

25. I rode an elephant when I was a kid one time and he threw his ball over a fence. Then he had to lean over the fence to get it back.

******

You know what annoys me? The fact that when any woman is involved with horses, for some reason people like to equate that somehow with sexuality. It's ridiculous. If you say that you like dogs or salt water fish or stamp collecting nothing at all is made of it. There is no reason that it should be any different with horses.
For instance, just the other day a friend (and I won't say who) was saying something to the group over dinner about a girlfriend that he had. To quote: "She did a lot of horseback riding. And she liked to "gallop". It could be very painful for me."
My response to this type of thing is usually overdone feigned naivete and continued innocent questioning until the sexually repressed and misguided person finally gives up their ridiculous attempt at a metaphor and is forced to use language that actually applies.
Sometimes the person involved is dense enough to not even get that. In which case I give up the act and tell them coldly that they should try to search around and see if they can't come up with the balls to just admit that their former girlfriend enjoyed rougher sex than they did, and to quit trying to somehow connect that with a totally unrelated hobby. If you're too embarrassed to say it in plain language then maybe you shouldn't be saying it.
Grow a backbone and quit throwing my passion to your Freudian jackals.

*Sigh*

Friday, February 06, 2009

I loves me some water...

Whilst in Hammond this past weekend for our annual awesomeness show(s), we went up to see Lake Michigan, just for funzies. And boy, was it fun! ...zies...
Being winter and all there was incredible shelf ice off of the shores and it was downright magical. Slick as well. Angel hair found three "ice thrones" and also a Pride (Ice) Rock. After poking around on the beach near Hammond some we traveled back East and through Gary (Murder Capitol of Indiana!!) to visit the Indiana Dunes, which I for one had never seen before. Again, awesome. There were several inches of snow on the ground, and that had drifted along with the sand, so you never really could tell when you took a step if you were going to sink an inch or a couple of feet. Some sand had blown across the surface of the snow, forming waves and patterns.
At the Dunes the shelf ice extended out many, many yards and when you climbed one of the dunes off of the beach you could just see the water as an indigo strip on the horizon. Pretty amazing.
I do so love me some water.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Confusion and amusement...

So I am at work right now, and oh my gosh I still have two hours to go. I'm training a young man on the intricacies of working nights and closing. I'm working on my laptop Schloozy, and he is using the student assistants' work computer to edit some code. All well and good except for occasionally he mutters something not quite under is breath such as:
"Dang..."
"Gosh dang it..."
"What the fu..."
And most recently:
"Oh my gosh, you are so stupid..."
Not sure if he was talking to himself or the computer on that one. I say things like that to Schloozypoo all the time, but I've also been known to say things like that to myself as well. Regardless it could be uncomfortable for me to continue listening to this. Or it could be highly amusing.

Today I took apart a fish tank pump and observed with my own two eyes exactly how it worked. It was all part of a class that I'm in called How Stuff Works. My friend Stu is teaching it. Can you think of a better class? Maybe Cookies, Puppies, and Yahtzee Night With David Duchovny 101. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. And then I had lunch with Jaime. The End.

PS The Fools are going to Hammond this weekend. Stoked.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Perhaps you'll remember...

The continuation of a story that began here. It is not a direct transcript of, but is still almost completely taken from a dream that I had.

~ It has been a full two days now since our engines died and according to the mechanics there is nothing to be done for them. Our engineers, some of the best it should be said, have been ordered by the captain to keep at it, but having looked over the damage myself, I am doubtful that there is any hope of resuscitating the behemoths.

Our ship was blown so far off course in the storm that I believe we are quite distant from the usual currents. We do not seem to be drifting anywhere fast, and as of yet not one other sign of life has been spotted. Allow me to correct myself, there has been one sign of life. A fisherman in a dinghy. Apparently his skiff took damage in the storm. He stayed with her until it was obvious that she was going down, at which time he retired to his lifeboat, taking with him only the barest essentials, aka what he could lay his hand to on his way out.

Just barely riding out the storm in the small dinghy (over which fact I am still at a loss, as I would have sworn that nothing short of a miracle would allow a boat like that to stay afloat in a storm of that magnitude) he spotted us as a speck on the horizon around dawn and rowed his way towards us. He finally reached our ship the following morning (aka, this AM), looking near dead from exhaustion and cold. The captain lowered pulleys and brought his entire dinghy on deck, pulling the poor man out with his own hands and wrapping him in warm blankets.

The man is in the sick bay now, under the care of our ship's doctor and nursing staff. I am pleased to be able to help the poor fellow, and sorry for his own troubles of losing his skiff, which is also his mode of livelihood; but having been put in charge of rationing both food and water for all of the passengers and crew of the Lillianna, I must say that I am more than slightly concerned. The individuals who stocked this ship certainly did not have an emergency such as this one in mind when they did it.

We were meant to be landing in Port Calveston in only slightly more than a week, less than a fortnight to be sure. I have been quite stringent in my rationing as I have no idea how long it will be before we are rescued, and as a result I believe that I am at the brunt end of some hard feelings. The crew and lower classes seem to understand the restrictions and accept them without complaint, but it is the higher class citizenry that may prove to be a problem. I refuse to give them special consideration in this matter.

I have no patience for arrogance in a situation like this. I expect the same treatment for every life aboard this ship; we will all suffer together, and we will die together if it comes to that. The one and only consideration that I have made was to urge the galley staff to reserve whatever canned milk that they have for the young children that are with us, regardless of class. As of yet the kitchen crew has been able to do an incredible job, even with my restrictions, and for that I am grateful. Their prowess is certainly helping me to stretch the supplies that we do have on hand.

I am to bed now, and pray God that some good news will greet us with the morning. ~

Sailing...

Drifting along
Through mist and mirage
Wonder where you're going
A stab of pain
Right through the heart
But don't worry
It passes quickly
Soon you'll forget
Making sure that the next time
Will hurt all the more

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Check it...

The good news is that I've been published on 365 Tomorrows again. The great news is that this one is actually good! Worlds better than the last. So much happier with this one.
Here it is in the archives: http://www.365tomorrows.com/12/06/shades-of-gray/
Hope you like it.

Friday, December 05, 2008

As some of you...

...no doubt already know, I did not complete NaNoWriMo. According to the marker board on my door, I am awesome (thank you, T. Rex), but apparently that does not extend to the ability write a novel called Property of: Abby in a month. Paul completed his though! Congratulations Paul, you inhuman, novel-writing machine, you.

I have most of my Christmas shopping done for the year. Not sure how that happened, but I'm proud of myself.

Edit: If you'd like to go right to Paul's table of contents for Appendix A, go here: http://www.kuliniewicz.org/blog/appendix-a/

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'll tell you what I want...

...What I really, really want.
Those of you who know me well may also know that I generally cannot answer the question"What do you want for Christmas and/or your birthday?" easily, nor usually before the second week of December. This year I'm ready! Enter the 2008 Wishlist! Ta-daa!

In no particular order:

*Planet Earth ( ~ $21.00 used from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B000MR9D5E/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used , or $35.00 used with The Blue Planet: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B000TEUSQ8/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used )

*Down pillow

Printer (cheapest, most basic kind that is made)

*Guitar Theory 4 poster ( ~ $20.00 for large size: http://www.zazzle.com/guitar_theory_4_print-228202254543937048 )

Second Hand Out - Jeff Spanke

*Any kinetic art (aka perpetual motion toys) ( http://search.store.yahoo.net/cgi-bin/nsearch?catalog=opg&query=perpetual%20motion&.autodone=http://www.officeplayground.com/nsearch.html )

WALL-E DVD (and possibly even Iron Man? I should think about that...)

*Another World - Brian May (~ $6.00 used from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B00000DC7L/ref=sr_1_olp_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1227156327&sr=1-1 )

*The Cosmos Rocks - Queen + Paul Rodgers (~ $24.00 new from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B001JGOKPU/sr=/qid=/ref=olp_pg_new?ie=UTF8&coliid=&startIndex=0&me=&qid=&sr=&seller=&colid=&condition=new )

*Pre Ordained - Queen (or pre-Queen really) (~ $6.00 used from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B00004SOPK/ref=sr_1_olp_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1227156751&sr=1-1 )

Journey music (but not Greatest Hits, I've got that.)

Brian May or Queen t-shirts, posters, etc.

Thinkgeek.com gift certificate


Oh gosh, it's a thing of beauty. Just look at that. Look at all those options. Didn't I say I was prepared, Moms? An asterisk means that I want that more than the non-asterisk items. None of this stuff is necessary.


"Please don't choke on your podcast."
~ Jenny

Friday, October 31, 2008

I think...

...that V for Vendetta is a great movie.

As some of you may know, I fully intend at this point to go forward with NaNoWriMo. I have an idea and everything, so batten down the hatches. Here's the site it will be on: http://www.propertyofabby.blogspot.com/ (There's also a link in the sidebar.)
We'll see how that goes for me. I might fail miserably. It will be exciting.

Report o' movements...

Well I had a fantastic October break, and at long last you are going to be forced to hear a little about it. It was productive, but relaxing. Some barn organization was done, some cleaning of tack, some laying around in a hammock, some nailing of boards. Hay and feed were purchased, loaded, and put up for the winter, and stalls were stripped down and re-bedded. Weeds were cut, hooves were trimmed, pizza was eaten.

My farrier (who happens to ride English and knows quite a lot about the discipline) thought that my new saddle was great. He seemed to think that I practically stole it. Later that day mom and I saddled up Sage (and I thought she looked very pretty in English tack) and then I coerced my mom into going first to "show me how it's done". She didn't take a ton of convincing. She thought the saddle was awesome as well and after a short while riding around, she dismounted for me to take my turn.

First time riding English and it went pretty great. No problems to speak of, the saddle was comfortable and I felt comfortable in it. Sage had a few bouts of stubbornness, but considering that she hasn't been ridden in a very, very long time, that was nothing. Since Sage is a pacer, posting on her is either impossible or well beyond my capabilities, so we didn't do a lot of trotting, but that was ok.

All in all, for me it was a pretty fantastic experience. Totally do not regret that purchase.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

It's here...

Guess what I got! Ok, I'll just tell you. An English saddle! Something that I've wanted for quite a while now. Thus far all the riding I've done has been either western or bareback, so riding English is going to be new to me, and that is what I'm so excited about! Can I overstate how excited I am? No, no I don't think so.
My saddle is awesome! It's a worn, used no-name, but it's great. Hopefully it will be a good fit for either Tiger or Sage, or maybe even both. At any rate it fits the arm of the couch well! Apartment smells like leather now, which is fantastic.
I expect this to be awesome. I can't wait!

So exciting!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

How would you like...

...to wake up to find this parked on the ceiling above your bed?


Yeah, I thought so. That, my friends, is the common House Centipede, or Scutigera coleoptrata to use the Latin. Also known round these parts (specifically, and possibly only, in our apartment) as the Crickepede.
As far as mutant hell spawn go, these are supposedly a very useful type to have around, as they attack, inject with venom, and devour other household pests such as spiders, termites, roaches, silverfish, rodents, small babies, salesmen, and politicians. That does not alter the fact that they are by far the creepiest bugs I have ever seen. And I'm not the whimpering girly girl sort. Or so I claim.
So far we've found four adults (ranging from 1 to 1.75 inches long by my estimation) and two youngsters. Apparently we (or possibly a neighboring apartment) have got a small infestation. Granted we've got no other pests to speak of, thanks to the diligent work of our little Crickepede buddies, but still!
I've been desensitizing myself by looking at pictures on the web, but I still don't like them, useful or not. Eh, nasty Crickepedes. So creepy...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

So far...

...my classes have been really great this semester. I love philosophy, and apparently I'm pretty good with rats, so Win.
And I now have keys to a "restricted area". Double Win.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Here it is...

Today is the day. My submission is the daily story on 365 Tomorrows. And it is here in the archives.
I'm just so damn proud...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Well that's cool...

A couple of months ago I found a site called 365 Tomorrows. The aim of the site is to present one short-short story of the sci-fi persuasion, no more than 365 words long, every day for a year. Most of them that I have read are pretty awesome. Today's and yesterday's (August 13 and 14th) stories were particularly good in my opinion.
Anyway, they have staff writers and they also accept some submissions. When I learned of this, I thought to myself, "What the heck, why not?" and so I took a few minutes to type up something random. I personally don't think it's that great, buuuuuut yesterday I got an email saying that it had been accepted for publication.
I'm not sure when exactly it's going to be featured, but it will be on the main page as the daily story, and then put in the archives. I'm pretty excited about that. First time I have ever been published by anyone other than myself, my school newspaper, or Jaime. So yeah. Awesome.

Friday, July 25, 2008

I've seen my share...

...of robot movies, but I have to say that "Wall-E" is a mighty good one. We laughed, we gasped, we "aww"-ed, we got to the point where, were we a good bit sappier and had onions on us, we might have cried. It was a good movie. A very fun (and funny!) movie, with touching and poignant bits thrown throughout. Bit o' symbolism here and there for those who want to look for it, but generally the movie stayed away from the slap-you-in-the-face stuff, so you could watch it as a lighthearted thing as well if you so desired.
Overall a really good movie. We had a great time. I give it an A+.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Yeah, it's awesome...

Who knew Neil Patrick Harris could sing?
So far it's been all that I hoped for.
(Watch it before the 20th, while it's free.)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Here we go again...

So the other day I got in my car and went to my friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart in order to exchange some cash monies for physical supplies, and guess what I found when I got back out to the parking lot. No really, go ahead and guess. Did you guess a dent in the hood the size of a small dinner plate? Well you are correct!
Somebody jumped on my car! There were a couple of slightly dusty footprints, and that is how I know how my car happened to have its hood molested!
Somebody jumped on my car! How can you jump on somebody's car unintentionally? The answer: You can't! Jumping on something as big as a Toyota Corolla is, as a general rule, a premeditated action. Who says to themselves, "I believe that I will leap upon the bonnet of this automobile that is not under my ownership."?
There is a slight chance that whoever did it did not realize that they caused damage, but I imagine it probably went more like this:
"Ah f**k dude! You dented it! Hahaha! Nobody saw so let's get inside and get that Blue Moon and Cheez Whiz that we came here for!"

Human Race, I have a serious problem with you! Consider yourself on notice!

Friday, July 04, 2008

Watermark...

As of today I have passed both the marks of 75 chapters and 50,000 words for Knowing Andrew. The story line isn't anywhere near being finished, but whenever it is, as of this point, it will be my first novel-sized work. I couldn't be more pleased. Writing it has been an absolute blast.
I remember back to last year when I was all like "I've written 12 chapters for KA and I'm just so proud of myself!" So long ago. So young. So naive...

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Of all the things...

Many things happened this weekend that are worth talking about. I will now talk about them.

On Friday I got the album Back to the Light by Brian May in the mail, and it is fantastic. I’m trying to think of my favorite track on it, but...it’s just so hard. Let’s go this route: My least favorite of the 13 is I’m Scared, but that’s not really saying much, because I like it too. It’s just a really awesome bunch of songs/music. May does the vocals and plays the great majority of the instruments for the album, with the late, great Cozy Powell on drums. He um, he wasn't dead when they recorded it...
Anyway, the album consists of ten songs and two instrumentals, all but one of which are May originals, with collaboration on music for three of them. The last song on the album is a bonus remix track. I'm still trying to decide on a favorite and it just doesn't seem to be happening. I don't think I can make that call.
All in all, unquestionably a great album. May is an absolute virtuoso. And also apparently Moses for a short while in his younger day...

On Saturday I helped re-pot and move a ten-foot tall fig tree. I also trimmed back the dead branches and twigs and helped clean off the dust and whatnot that had settled on the leaves. I learned some valuable things about how to keep trees alive indoors whilst in conversation with Ms. Kay, whom I was helping. I'm quite interested in plant biology and cultivation and I’ve wanted to grow a tree for some time now, so it was a very educational and interesting experience for me.

I also went to the 36th Annual Indiana Fiddlers’ Gathering over in Battle Ground on Saturday with some friends to hear some bluegrass/folk music, and it was quite a blast. An interesting sub-community to be sure. My favorite band consisted of three guys who played acoustic swing with a fiddle, a guitar, and a string bass. They were awesome. All three of them just real masters with their instruments, and I highly approved of the song style. They were Aaron Weinstein (violin), Frank Vignola (guitar), and Jim Cox (bass). Should you ever get a chance to hear them, I recommend it.

The sunset over the trees in the glen was gorgeous, and the weather great for such an occasion. For a bit, later in the night, it looked like it was about to rain, but then the clouds cleared and you could see the stars above the clearing, with the Big Dipper dead center. It was very nice.

By far though, the best part of Saturday was when The Foghorn Stringband (whom I didn’t really like that much) paused for a couple of seconds between songs during their set and some guy sitting a ways behind me yelled out “Freebird!!!” I smiled first, because of the setting, and then I laughed out loud when it suddenly struck me that this was a man that was not at all connected with SOG, Benji, or I, and he was yelling for Freebird at a bluegrass festival. Even if I had not enjoyed anything else about the evening, that pretty much just made the whole thing worth it.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Run for the hills...

I am extremely angry right at this moment. So much so that my stomach is aching. I ran across a link to an article on the Poles whilst going through the Yahoo nexus, and thinking that it would be a quick and interesting read, followed it. Unfortunately, I never got to reading the actual article. The first thing that came up was the title and short blurb for the article with another link to get to the body. Right below that were the comments that people had left. I read the first page of them before closing the whole thing in disgust and rage.
These types of comments can be neatly placed in four distinct categories. Ehem:
First you have the people who are intelligent enough to do a bit of research, know what they're talking about, and, *gasp*, actually give a rat's left buttock about what's going on in the world around them.
Then you have your folks who seem to want what's best, but don't really know what's going on. (aka They've watched a Michael Moore film, and that's all the research they need. Those would be the good-hearted "OMG! The polar bears are gonna die!" people.)
Thirdly are the people who are sceptical, which in and of itself is a good thing. Except that they don't follow up on that scepticism. They just sort of hang neutral, spreading their non-opinions around like slow-churned, low trans-fat, heart-healthy, butter substitute product, and basically just convoluting things as much as they can whenever possible.
And lastly (my absolute favorite in all the whole wide freakin' world!), there are the imbeciles that blatantly ignore facts, turn their backs on research, shun simple observation skills, and then go around preaching their strongly held, sarcasm laden, pseudo-scientific "findings" with all the determination of Al Sharpton at the annual CivCon! I'm talking about the type of person that would defend strip mining the Alaskan tundra with their life if they thought they heard Rush Limbaugh say that it would be a good idea one morning whilst they were driving to work in their Ford Expedition. It is these people that absolutely kill any faith in humanity that I happen to have picked up in between times!
I cannot stand willful ignorance, particularly when it is combined with arrogance. Of course, I guess when some people get an idea caught between the only two brain cells that they have floating around in their skulls, it can be kind of hard to knock it loose again.

*Primal scream* Use your brains, people!!!

... ... My stomach doesn't hurt anymore...

Friday, June 27, 2008

Desperation...

~ Churning, writhing,
destroying from the inside.
Is there no stopping it?
Killing me slowly, quietly,
like a horrid disease.
No cure for this one.
They say chin up.
Tomorrow is a new day.
But I know,
it will come back.
When I'm lying in the dark,
contemplating.
It approaches,
silently through the night,
slipping into me,
over me,
covering me,
choking me,
like a curse,
only more painful.
When will it end?
Maybe never. ~

~From the mind of Renee

Monday, June 09, 2008

Sound in silence...

Cut off, I'm left to wander.
Roaming the wasteland, looking for something.
Looking for peace of mind maybe.
Cut off by actions and lack thereof.
I had a hand in my isolation.
My loneliness is partially by my doing.
Cut off by silence.
And not just my own.
Is there anyone out there?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Being greeted by friends in a strange house...

Peace: "Hey."
Lauren: "Hey."
Angel Hair: "Hey."
Kamikaze: "Kitty!"

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Along the way...

So some of you probably know that I am in ENGL 238 for the first summer module here, which is a bit more than half over incidentally. I love that class and it is just going fantastically well and that makes me very happy. One of the options for the two book projects that we get to do is to write a scene or a chapter from the perspective of a character who is not the narrator of one of the books that we're reading for class. My group chose to do that on a book called Inexcusable for the first of the two projects, and so I wrote a chapter for that that was about 11 pages long (double spaced) and I think it turned out pretty well.
I think maybe what pleased me most about it is that I had some free time at work, so I just sat down at the computer and started typing some stuff up. Two or three years ago, I probably would not have been able to do that. It's one thing to engage in something that you enjoy, quite another to be able to see yourself growing and (hopefully!) improving along the way. I'm not professional caliber by any stretch of the imagination but I do think that my writing has come pretty far and really in a relatively short amount of time. At least it seemed short to me!
One of the things that has changed is that I've reached the point where I am willing to put some of my writing out there. A few years ago I would not have had enough confidence in it (and for good reason!) to present a story to my classmates and offer it for use in a project.
I think starting Aiden was a big step for me because it broke into doing something that I'd never done before, and that was writing something that was not premeditated. I've really grown in that area since then I think. It's been about a year now since I began Aiden's story and I can see definite changes in my writing since then.
Here's to evolution.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The Island...

~ I park beneath the Aspen tree that spills over the high, concrete retaining wall. Get out of my car and stand in the parking lot, nearly empty, breathing the damp, rain scented air. Droplets fall on my pad of paper and I feel that I could stay here forever.
Around me the sounds of traffic, behind me I hear a door open and a janitor beat the dust from a push broom. The droplets fall faster, bleeding the ink, wetting my hair. This should be uncomfortable. This should feel awkward.
The wind makes the branches above me, newly green with the fresh verdance of early summer, dip and sway. The Aspen, the touch of nature here, dances with the wind.
The rain falls harder.
The damp paper rues ink. ~
~ From the life of Renee

Monday, May 05, 2008

Inexcusable talent...

http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/share_view/nExJ7BoIbCZFV0g32vxrM0JR

Many thanks to Angel Hair and T. Rex for putting this together, and of course to Stuart for the use of his head.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Pressing the issue...

I just saw Iron Man, and I have to say, what a fantastic movie! I thought is was great. You should see this movie. I think that it may have found a place in that hallowed "Top 5" list. It is quite awesome. Most definitely worth the price of a ticket to see it on the big screen.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Don't you hate...

...being wrong?

All but one of my final exams are done and over with. Now comes the time of reassuring dread that what is done is done.

I have a few goals for the summer. I'd like to study Spanish every day so I have a bit firmer of a handle on it come Fall semester. I'd like to build up a bit of a backlog of Knowing Andrew chapters so that I won't have to worry about that so much in November (remember that NaNoWriMo goal?) And finally, I'd like to complete Aiden, if possible. And I think that it is possible. I'd also like to run some sleep deprivation experiments, but that's not so much of a goal as a curiosity.
Next summer I think I might like either an internship, or if it's feasible, to go abroad.

This semester has gone by very quickly. Sometimes I feel like my life is slipping away and that I haven't accomplished anything yet. I guess all you can do though, is try to enjoy each day. How sickeningly optimistic, right? I couldn't be a hippie. I like to bathe...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Choose your own hybridized adventure...

So I've been working on some sort of bastardized template for KA so that I can get the best of both the old and the beta versions. It's not going as smoothly as one might hope.
On the lighter side of that subject though, I have completed over 50 chapters of Knowing Andrew, and been working on it (relatively) steadily for over 6 months now. Woo. Somebody pat me on the back.
I was talking with a friend the other day about doing NaNoWriMo this year. Might be a fun challenge. Something to think about.
We went to Michigan, as I said we were going to, and it was awesome. The trip was a blast, the accommodations excellent. Our set got cut by about 50% because a couple of -ehem- bad troupes went overtime with their badness, but we handled it professionally, and got what was left of the audience back after one of those particularly bad troupes finally vacated the stage. But, the two troupes that went after us, they were pure gold. Loved every minute of it. Overall it was just a really fantastic time, lotta group bonding, inside jokes, and all that good stuff that dreams are made of.

~ "Life is good... LGizzle. LGizzle Electrizzle. Fo shizzle!" ~
~ Stu

Friday, April 11, 2008

Varied...

Today in Spanish I heard one of my classmates assuring another that tripe was a kind of fish.

How are you all getting on nowadays? I'm good. Sweet of you to ask. I've got my classes for next semester lined up, including the PSY 390 that I wanted with Dr. C.'s team, working on his new Pavlovian conditioning theory. Pretty exciting stuff.

We're performing in Michigan this weekend. Livin' the dream.

Spring is fast upon us. Daffodils are in full bloom in the horticulture gardens with the irises and lilies not far to go.

I've attained a new level of geekhood. I am the proud owner of my very own set of polyhedral RPG dice. I made a bag for them and everything. They like me already. I can tell. They're special.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Rick Astley 101...

I accidentally found this guy because of an April Fool's Day prank on Youtube. I think he's great! His voice is very unique (and pretty fantastic in my opinion.) Besides, he's a handsome, redhaired, English guy with a cute smile. What's not to like? Here's my favorite song (yeah, I'm a dork, I love it), very catchy (ah that 80's beat!), but I like the humor in the video as well.:




If you liked that, I suggest: Hold Me in Your Arms and Never Gonna Give You Up

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I've decided...

...to stop blogging. I mean, I've been doing this for two years now, and it's really time to grow up and move on. I'm an adult.
Thanks for the good run folks.
Good night...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Quite clearly...

...I am neither an expert in chess, nor the RPGs. Oh no, you say. Oh yes, I maintain.

And I love this site. I just...do: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

Happy Easter everyone.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Durable...

During "Spring" Break, my little brother and I spontaneously decided to go sledding in the quickly melting snow. For lack of an actual sled we used the lid of a plastic storage bin. Due to the fact that it was the lid to a plastic storage bin, the front of it wasn't as good for skimming over the snow, so much as digging into the snow. Still, it was the first time I've sledded (slid?) in years, and falling off of our makeshift toboggan was as much fun as the actual sledding.
We also catapulted snowballs into the pond with our makeshift trebuchet (the lid of a plastic storage bin). The dog enjoyed it too.

Reclaimable...

"Imperiously he leaps, he neighs, he bounds,
"And now his woven girts he breaks asunder;
"The bearing earth with his hard hoof he wounds,
"Whose hollow womb resounds like heaven's thunder:
"The iron bit he crushes 'tween his teeth,
"Controlling what he was controlled with.

"His ears up-prick'd, his braided hanging mane
"Upon his compass'd crest, now stands an end;
"His nostrils drink the air, and forth again,
"As from a furnace, vapours doth he send;
"His eye, which glistens scornfully like fire,
"Shews his hot courage, and his high desire.

~William Shakespeare

Thursday, March 06, 2008

The essence of spring...

~ Lavender overflows the verge in a wave of delicate purple. The long buds of orange lilies bask in blissful sunlight atop tall stems, expectant, suspenseful. Will today be the day? Off to the side I find a small patch of tiny daisies, all but hidden among the taller plants. Are they waiting there for me? ~
~ From the life of Renee

As I may or may not have mentioned before, it's already time to register for summer and fall classes here. The class that I am probably the most excited about is Modern Ethical Theories. And as it so happens, I believe that one of my more favorite philosophy professors will be teaching it! Hoorah.

~ "Now don't put too much finger paint on them or it'll just soak right through." ~
~ Stu

Friday, February 29, 2008

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Muses sing...

~ Walking home I saw a leaf spinning across the snow, caught in a gust of winter wind.
Out of control, just going along with it. There was really no other option.
It danced and twirled, inseparable from the ecstasy. Pulled into something much bigger, deeper, stronger.
Ineffable. ~
~ From the life of Renee

Monday, February 25, 2008

Imaginary...

So lately we've been going through a lot of case studies and research on the dissociative disorders, the most widely known being of course Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality Disorder as it used to be called). My most recent area of research being the correlation between childhood imaginary companions and the later development of DID alters.
Now it should be stated that basically all documented cases of DID showed absolutely horrific childhood abuse, usually including sexual. But not all abused children develop DID. The question is why? Back to the ICs.
For just about all disorders some predisposition is necessary. Combine that with just the right life stressor, or upbringing, or social position, or etc and "voila!" you have a psychological disorder. There is some evidence that children with DID, or a predisposition towards dissociation, tend to have/had many, enduring, and vivid ICs. The ICs also tend to take on roles beyond that of simple playmates. Typically complex, perhaps some with protector qualities, some even being malevolent in nature.
Now, all that is not to say that any child with lots of imaginary buddies is going to develop DID. Remember the combination thing. Really what this research is looking for are markers. If you find something that across the board points to children that have/will have dissociative disorders, you can identify/treat them. (A lot of adults with DID will suffer years without being properly diagnosed. It is not something that presents itself in an obvious manner, and it is most often accompanied by other disorders that may appear to be foremost, aka depression.) Children typically respond much better than adults to treatment in this particular area, not to mention the fact that if you can catch the process before it fully develops, less damage would be done. Maybe, maybe that child could have a normal life after that.
More research needs to be done.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Passion rules the games...

Free word association is an interesting concept. I'm gonna do some right now!
Immediately. Eternally. Deity. Power. Knowledge. Education. Pride. Esteem. Self. Autonomy. Emotion. Sensation. Life. Death. Black. Night. Star. Light. Enlightenment. Understanding. Acceptance. Speech. Occasion. Celebration. Joy. Friend. Comfort. Teddy bear. Animal. Love.
Gonna stop there.
How do you feel about anger? A certain amount of anger is a healthy thing. At some point it crosses a line, and that line is of course not in a nameable or permanent place. You also have the other extreme, in which the anger is continually repressed, no better for you in the long run than the former.
I think that there has to be a balance. Naturally that balance is something that each person has to find for themselves, but I think it is there. There's no reason to explode at every little thing, and sometimes you have to just let go of things out of your control (heck, even in your control in some cases). But you also can't live your life denying yourself feelings. It's not always easy to find the balance.
I'm workin' on it.
It. Ebay. Buy. Store. Keep. Retain. Teeth. Dentist. Doctor. Health care. Insurance. Security. Blanket. Warmth...

Monday, February 18, 2008

The day I lost you...

~
I feel your heart beat
Strong
Steady
Reassuring
If only I had known
Waiting
Lurking
Diabolical
Tearing you away from me
Pain
Anguish
Isolation
I think it was harder
Darker
Bleaker
Lonlier
For me than for you
Alone
Adrift
Confused
I'm left alive to continue
Persist
Survive
Remain
How could you leave me
Death took your life
And my heart
I'd prefer
Death
~
From the mind of Renee

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Of the sort...

~ I cradle myself and rock back and forth. Robert approaches and puts his arms around me, wrapping me in his comforting warmth.
"Are you okay, baby?" he murmurs into my ear. Tears slip down my face and I try to formulate a response.
"No. It hurts." That's all I can get out. Somehow he understands. Direct connection can do that for you. He holds me tighter.
His shirt is soft against my face and he smells faintly of cedar and spices. His lips brush my neck and I am momentarily distracted from my desire to cry.
His love, more aptly, his empathy, expunges the ache in my heart and it all comes pouring out, bidden or not.
He rubs my back as the silent tears run down, wetting my lips, tasting of salt and grief. I leave them to their fate.
He has no need to speak. He's already said it all without uttering a word.
~
~ From the mind of Renee

I very rarely write in the first person, but I think that sometimes it works. Provides a level of insight that would not otherwise be possible.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pride goeth before the ball...

So the 77th annual Purdue Literary Awards are coming up here. Most of the categories are for poetry, and since the only poetry I've ever written has been largely accidental I don't have a huge chance of winning anything.
But, you've got no chance of winning if you don't enter, so I entered the snot outta that competition!
As I said, most categories were for poetry/prose, so I scrounged up a few things that could pass for that. Couple of categories for short stories. I entered some Jared, and chapters 8-12 I think of Knowing Andrew as a stand alone, couple other things. There was actually a category for novel-in-progress, but I just couldn't bring myself to make a definitive outline for the rest of Aiden to go with the 'script. I like that spontaneity too much.

We'll see how all of that goes for me.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Inconvenient...

~ Pulled aside by the Captain, I was rewarded with the worst possible news. We weren't going anywhere fast and the ship was outfitted with very little foodstuffs, as our journey was not meant to be a protracted one. We were, by necessity, off of the main shipping lines, so we were not likely to see any help soon.
There is no feeling of hopelessness like being stranded on an ocean.
I made my way back to my cabin, past all the clueless people gathered at the rails, just realizing we'd stopped and speculating amongst themselves as to why.
Confining myself to the seclusion of my berth I reviewed our options in my mind. The one thing that I could think of that was downright fortunate was that on board there was quite the military contingent in transport, with full survival gear. That should include some food and potable water, perhaps even a way to convert salt water into drinkable. I made a mental note to check into that.
Being non-conventional military, and not part of the general citizenry I guessed that I was now one of the only free-agents on board. At that point in time the thought gave very little comfort, seeing as we were all, quite literally, "in the same boat".
Several tasks in mind I grabbed a notebook and pen and left my cabin to find the Captain again. He turned out to be on the bridge, looking pensive, as one might expect. I boldly broke into his reverie.
"Captain, I've thought of several things that we should discuss as soon as possible," I said.
"Yes, I have as well, Mr. Cambridge. Shall we fight to decide who should go first?" The captain smiled weakly in an attempt to bolster his little stab at humor. I nodded for him to continue with his thoughts.
"First is the question of when and what to tell the passengers? I think they deserve to know what's going on, and they'll also need to know why everything is rationed, but should we tell them the whole, un-buffered truth?" he said.
I only had to think that one over for a moment.
"Yes. Chances are they'll hear something from the staff anyway. I'd prefer for a few of them to get a little crazy now than to have rumors coursing rampant through the ship later." The Captain nodded.
"Alright, I can see the logic in that. How shall they be told?" he asked of me. I had already considered my answer to that as well.
"You could make a general shipwise announcement for all passengers to return to their cabins, then we could go section to section and explain the situation to smaller groups. That way we might be able to better answer questions and escape the possibility of mass panic." He nodded his agreement again.
"And I can get Misters Cunningham and Farner, the first mate and bursar, to help us with that so we can get through the sections faster," he added. "But I'd like to address all of the crew first though, to alert them of what's happening, as well as so they can go ahead and get a start on some of the necessary tasks. First and foremost being the food and water rationing of course." The Captain had my wholehearted approval there, so we set to immediately...
~
~ From the mind of Renee

Perhaps a bit more on this later. Do you like it?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Calling all clouds...

Last week I dreamed that I knew Richard Dean Anderson and we had tea together.
This week I dreamed that my 11 year old brother was still a baby and Stu's family came to one of my lectures with me.
Last night I dreamed that Roger Taylor brought a young (but very conscientious) elephant to my house, and it was curious about my horses.

I love my dreams.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

It all started....

...back in the summer of '07. Those were the days. It was hard living, tough times, but we knew the value of a dollar, and we were thankful to dig holes for a living! Eherm. Sorry, got to waxing a bit nostalgic there.
Anyway, last summer Ryan shared a bit of his extensive music collection with me, including several tracks from Queen albums. Since then evolution has taken place and I can honestly say that I believe I have morphed into a pretty hardcore Queen fan.
Big whoop, some of you may be saying, but let me continue. My saying that I am "into" any band is a pretty big deal. Mostly I evaluate music on a song-by-song basis, and the number of bands or artists that I can say I like across the board can be counted on one hand. Less than one hand.
I've not found a Queen song yet that I absolutely can't stand. I like some much more than others, granted, but none that I hate.
I've put a couple of music videos/concert clips into this post for you to watch. And by "a couple" I mean "I've narrowed it down to just six." Hey, don't play down the effort that that took. If you don't like one, go on to the next. That's kind of the beauty of Queen, they pulled off such an amazing range of styles. It helped that their lead singer, Freddie Mercury could sing just about anything and make it sound good.
And the guitarist, Brian May, built his own electric guitar with his dad. That is just awesome. Out of wood from an old mantle. More awsome.






































Did you like those? Well of course you did. Here, I've linked a few more for you just because, well, I can:

The Miracle
These Are the Days of Our Lives
One Vision
Don't Stop Me Now
Save Me
I Was Born to Love You
Anyway, now I just need to get a couple of their albums.
And a poster. And a t-shirt. And a calendar...

Thanks Ryan.

~ Me: "Are you-"
~ Kyle: "Yes."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

At least I'm not...

...writing Star Trek fanfic.

So, you people that I gave Aiden manuscripts to, how are ya liking it so far?

As I said on the Knowing Andrew website, I have reached the point when I really need to decide if continuing the story is worth the amount of time that I'm putting into it. Relatively speaking, it doesn't take that much of my time out of the week. But it does take a lot of my writing time out of the week. Also writing energy if that makes any sense to you. But! According to the word on the streets, practice does make perfect, so is it worth it, even though I don't have that many readers? Possibly. Thoughts?

I hate writing trite things, and if I have to try to force it with Aiden, I just won't write. Getting nothing done is better than the alternative in this case.

I went to a workshop on etiquette. It was very interesting actually. Presented by the Purdue president's event coordinator, Anthony Cawdron. From England, he's got a Master's in hospitality and something else, and worked as a butler in days past. He teaches a class on campus as well. And he's a really funny guy.
I learned to always pass the salt and pepper together, how to get people through a receiving line quickly, how to hold a glass, hors d'ouvre plate, fork, and napkin while still keeping a hand free for shaking, and how to subtly let restaurant staff know that I am in charge of a business situation, even if I am the only female at the table.
Also how to keep a man from inadvertently crushing your fingers when you shake hands, though that's not something I've ever really had a problem with personally.
It's actually pretty riveting stuff.

~ "Now I'm beginning to regret laying Nale..." ~
~ Angel Hair

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Confrontation...

~ "Dude, just ask her out already! You like her, she seems to be okay with you...What's to lose?"
Robert rolled his eyes in unadulterated exasperation.
"Edwin Winger, we have been over this and I refuse to have this conversation again. I have my reasons, and you've heard most of them-"
"They're stupid ones," Ed muttered.
"You've heard most of them, and quite frankly I don't care if you don't like them. It's not you I'm trying to please. Do you think you could just back off a bit?" With a scathing look Robert turned away and headed for the door.
"Well then just who are you trying to please Rob?" Edwin called after him. "Cause it sure seems to me that you're something short of gleeful." Robert executed an about face and came back to stand in front of Ed without ever slowing. He leaned in close and spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable with painful deliberation, as if assuming the worst about Edwin's intellect.
"This is really none of your business. This is what I like to call "my business". Now I asked you to back off." There was silence for a long moment while the two men stared at each other. Edwin spoke.
"Alright already, I'll back off!"
"Good," Robert said.
"But I think you're making a mistake." Edwin murmured under his breath as Robert began to turn his back again.
"You're not really so much backing off, as not backing off!" snapped Rob.
"Okay, I'll exercise amazing levels of super-human restraint and I really will keep my thoughts and feelings all to myself. It'll be hard, but I'll give it my best. My lips are sealed. I'm done trying to convince you. I won't say anything else. Consider my opinion null and void." Robert's face softened a tiny bit and Edwin caught the barest hint of the beginnings of a smile trying to touch the corner of Robert's mouth.
"Thank you. I appreciate your sacrifice to the cause."
Ed waved his hand.
"Oh it was nothing! Anything for a friend," he said. Robert shook his head, and this time, actually did smile.
"Have I told you recently that I think you're a little off? A nice guy, but a little off."
"Yeah, what would you do without me?" ~
~ From the mind of Renee

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Oh the humanity...

I'm writing this while I should be doing something else. Hurrah for procrastination!
School's going good. As was the case last year I think that Spanish should probably be the most time consuming overall. My Gender Across Cultures text is actually interesting. What a novel concept. I'm disappointed that I did not get Don Mitchell for philosophy, even though he was listed as teaching it. I heard that he is really good. And that's about all I have to say on that issue.
In other news: I wish I had more time to write. Writing a book is, of course, not even half the job of getting it published, but it'd be nice to finish. I read an article by a fantasy author on writing and he said that the stages of completing a book are these:

You start writing and are full of vigor and inspiration.
You hit a dry spell somewhere in the middle.
You get about half way and feel like it's never going to be done.
You push through that, see the finish on the horizon, get your second wind, and finally draw to a conclusion.

So far I've been pretty textbook.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Tripping through the wire forests...

This morning I woke up dreaming about my car. Same car, but it had slightly customized controls. Instead of a steering wheel I had a reverse yoke. The gear shift was a flat red button-lever on the right bottom leg of said yoke. Worked pretty well actually. Had to explain it to everyone who got in the car, but that was a small price to pay.
Did you have a good Christmas? I had a good Christmas. Not a bit of snow here, just rain. Gorgeous out last night though. Clear skies, chill air. Been bonding with the dog. Also watching a lot of Animal Planet and Science Channel. Did you know that dragonflies have four wings which they manipulate separately? That's what lets them fly in basically any direction, and pull off the impressive aeronautics that they do.
Have a great New Year everybody!

~ Look, this may seem simple and juvenile, but it's really quite complicated. Now could you hand me that red crayon?" ~
~ Ben
From the mind of Renee.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I'm very understanding...

Some of you may have been wondering what's been going on with the SoF lately. Oh yeah? Well I'm going to talk about it anyway.
First off, we were delighted to bring in fresh talent earlier this semester. Here's a belated welcome to Steven "Angel Hair" and Brant "Rubble". As always you can see their true-to-life profiles on the SoF website, or on the SoF wiki.
We've had a good number of shows this semester and the club has been moved to take part in several charitable works. We're all so very proud.
In other news, we've already begun booking next semester with tentatively firm dates set for our third annual SoF/AOO show (March 1st) and for a return trip to the Towle Theatre in Hammond, IN (February 2nd). That is something that I personally am extremely excited for. Former Fool and current ISU grad student, Alex, will be rejoining us that evening on stage if all goes as planned.
In another area of my life, I am just under my goal of 26,000 words of my novel completed by the end of this year, and hopefully I can finish that up over break. Right now I am going to set the goal of having 39K done by the end of next semester. I am pleased with what I have so far. As I stated before it has been kind of slow lately, but I rather expected that. Apparently most authors hit the doldrums somewhere near the middle of a book and just have to fight through it until another fresh breeze hits the sails.
I've been publishing my ongoing story Knowing Andrew online for 2 months now, and I like it. Though it does take time away from Aiden, I think that any writing practice is good writing practice.
Speaking of writing practice, I am enrolled in a creative writing class (ENGL 205) for next semester. Hopefully that will be fun. I'm also in Abnormal Psych (PSY 350), Motivation (PSY 333), Spanish (SPAN 102), Gender Across Cultures (ANTH 303), and Philosophy of Religion (PHIL 330). A very Liberal Arts heavy schedule indeed. We'll see how that goes for me.
Finals are over for this semester and I think that I did alright. I intend to continue studying Spanish through the break to get the stuff that I failed to memorize during the term down pat, and also to hopefully spend a good bit of time writing.
~ "I'm not tense! I'm just terribly, terribly alert." ~
~ Some character in Touch of Pink

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The unnecessary...

So how do you feel about New Year's resolutions? I personally find them inefficient. If I want to resolve to do/not do something I can do it at any point in the year. I suppose that the idea is that you are starting a whole new, heretofore unadulterated, year and thus can leave the past behind you and strike out on a new path, new leaf close to hand. In my personal experience the past is never left behind you.
That sounds rather negative, and perhaps even a tad creepy ("Just what don't you understand about 'Leave me alone!', Past? Don't call me again!"), but I don't mean it that way. To the contrary, without our pasts we would be lost. Not just the good things, but the bad things as well, shape us into who we are. Bad things don't have to be a complete loss. As hard or unpleasant as it may be to face them, they shouldn't necessarily be buried or hidden. Pain can heal, and hurt can teach.
This year, sure I'll make a couple of resolutions, at the least for traditions sake. I will write them down in my journal and a year from now I'll look back and see how I did. If you ever see them you'll find that they tend to be rather vague, and quite often abstract. Hopefully, they'll never, ever take the form of wishing to change the past.

~ "Let no one delay the study of philosophy while young nor weary of it when old." ~
~ Epicurus - Letter to Menoeceus (Diogenes Laertius) 10.112

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Contemplation...

I absolutely love this song by one Robbie Williams. He's got the great combination of strong and smooth in his voice which is so wonderful for the classic jazz pieces (I recommend It's Delovely, Ain't Love a Kick in the Head, My Way, and One For My Baby to name a few), but also the versatility to do the more poppy rock songs (I like Something Beautiful). I think you can see both in Angels. It's also great when he sings it in Spanish! I'll tell you one thing; the man has better range than I do.

So, for your viewing pleasure, Robbie Williams' Angels:



In Spanish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnggOwh3RWI

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Listen up, we don't have much time...

Let's talk about my literary exploits.
The book is coming along. Slowly. My gosh, slowly. Seems that for the past month or so I've been in a dry spell. And when I say "dry spell" I mean "arid wasteland". But! Last night I pulled it together and wrote another chapter for it. That makes me happy. That also gives me approximately 21K words. If I write another 5K before Christmas I will have met my goal for this year.
In other literary news, I've written 12 chapters of my ongoing story Knowing Andrew (That's http://knowingandrew.blogspot.com kids!) and that's pretty exciting to me. I have my doubts as to how long I can make this particular story line last, but so far I think it's going pretty strong. I like the fact that often it comes down to the day that I'm supposed to post and I have no idea what's going to happen, so I just start writing and the story manifests itself.
I wouldn't call it my best writing by any stretch, but there are parts that I really do like, and it is breaking into a genre/format that I haven't worked much with, so that's exciting.

~ "President Jischke does not touch doorknobs!" ~
~ Preston