I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine on the topic of the threesome. The central question was: All else being equal, would you rather be with two people of the opposite sex or one of either gender? Truth be told I had never put much thought into the subject. I came to two conclusions:
1) Take the case of me, my theoretical significant other, and an additional woman. I know for a fact that I would not take it well at all to see the man that I loved being intimate with, or even looking at, another woman. So that's out.
2) Let's try me, my TSO, and an additional man. Not being the type to engage in random acts of sexual intercourse, I gotta say that would be a bit weird. For this fact alone: I would have sex with someone that I loved. To have some other guy just stopping in for kicks, that'd make me uncomfortable I'd wager.Why I presented all that here, well, I'm not really sure
I've just brought my would be book up to the mark of approximately 15250 words. That's somewhere between a quarter and a fifth done for your average sized novel. I also had an epiphany. I won't give any spoilers here, but several major points of the plot that I had been ignoring up til now have been made beautifully clear to me. Like fine Waterford crystal.
~ “Aiden. This is really weird. Are you sure we're not hallucinating?”
“Well I'm not Jacob. I won't presume to speak for you.” ~
~ Mine, gimme
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Unknowable...
~ I cried.
I cried for my baby, my husband, my pain. I cried because crying was the only thing I could do.
Robert held me locked in his arms, rocking me gently, I only realized later, in time to his own sobs. I clung to him like he was my last hope.
I vaguely remember passing the afterbirth, a nurse gently removing my feet from the stirrups and covering me up. Either no one spoke to me, or I just don't remember it. My world consisted of my anguish, the unendurable ache consuming my heart. Robert's world brushed against mine and I knew his pain as well. I thought that it must be a blessing to die.
This should not be happening to me. This could not have happened to me. That putrid mass of flesh that my body had just so violently expelled could not have been my baby.
I stopped crying. The emptiness choked me. That was not my baby. More tears came where I thought I had none left. That was my baby.
My baby.
The pain dragged me down. I did not resist.
Robert cradled my limp body as a nurse slipped a sedative into my vein. I wondered briefly if they had anything that would dull his agony.
He lay me gently back on the bed and went, for the first and last time, to look at his son. I could still feel his body shaking against my breast.
Hell couldn't hurt this badly. ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Please comment. I need to know what you think of this.
I cried for my baby, my husband, my pain. I cried because crying was the only thing I could do.
Robert held me locked in his arms, rocking me gently, I only realized later, in time to his own sobs. I clung to him like he was my last hope.
I vaguely remember passing the afterbirth, a nurse gently removing my feet from the stirrups and covering me up. Either no one spoke to me, or I just don't remember it. My world consisted of my anguish, the unendurable ache consuming my heart. Robert's world brushed against mine and I knew his pain as well. I thought that it must be a blessing to die.
This should not be happening to me. This could not have happened to me. That putrid mass of flesh that my body had just so violently expelled could not have been my baby.
I stopped crying. The emptiness choked me. That was not my baby. More tears came where I thought I had none left. That was my baby.
My baby.
The pain dragged me down. I did not resist.
Robert cradled my limp body as a nurse slipped a sedative into my vein. I wondered briefly if they had anything that would dull his agony.
He lay me gently back on the bed and went, for the first and last time, to look at his son. I could still feel his body shaking against my breast.
Hell couldn't hurt this badly. ~
~ From the mind of Renee
Please comment. I need to know what you think of this.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Nothing to see here...
~ Jared leaned in and eyed Sam's work warily.
"I pray God you know what you're doing."
"Yes, yes Jared I do. Now will you quit sweating down the back of my neck?" His voice sounded just a tiny bit testy. Considering that Sam was working with explosives Jared decided to go ahead and back off a little. He leaned back into the wall he was kneeling beside, rifle crossed over his chest and carefully peered out into the darkness surrounding them. The night was absolutely silent but for his own respiration and the faint whispers coming from Sam's direction as he gently swore under his breath. Jared waited for as long as he possibly could before asking.
"How's it going there big guy?"
"The damn blasting cap's aged! I can't say for sure if this thing is going to blow or not. Why can't we freaking have decent equipment for once? ~
~ Mine
"I pray God you know what you're doing."
"Yes, yes Jared I do. Now will you quit sweating down the back of my neck?" His voice sounded just a tiny bit testy. Considering that Sam was working with explosives Jared decided to go ahead and back off a little. He leaned back into the wall he was kneeling beside, rifle crossed over his chest and carefully peered out into the darkness surrounding them. The night was absolutely silent but for his own respiration and the faint whispers coming from Sam's direction as he gently swore under his breath. Jared waited for as long as he possibly could before asking.
"How's it going there big guy?"
"The damn blasting cap's aged! I can't say for sure if this thing is going to blow or not. Why can't we freaking have decent equipment for once? ~
~ Mine
Thursday, August 30, 2007
For RTG...
This is something that I wrote at the beginning of spring semester and had not intended to share with anyone. It's still not an easy thing to face.
Waiting is the hardest thing on Earth to do.
I think I'll call it Aching Reprieve. Or perhaps The Price of Another Try.
~ I leave his office crying. Is it all joy? Certainly not. Celebrating the renewal of one dream but at the same time mourning the loss of another. Are the two even separable?
I am awash with unspeakable relief. I am distraught at the prospect of selling out for a second chance. How can I quit my dream? How can I not? The goal can lead to its own ruination.
I hadn't started crying until he gave me the good news. One word. I melt. After so very long on the razor's edge.
The darkness lifted, I glimpse the sun. A new twilight settles. I can hold back the tears no longer.
He tells me that I owe myself a second chance.
I still wonder if it's the subject or me.
Did I try hard enough? Was I just not giving my all?
Was the dream worth it?
Can I be happy?
And the doubt that lurks always in my mind:
Was I even capable of doing it?
Is this what I want? ~
~ From the life of Renee
I should pay Dr. Miller a visit...
Waiting is the hardest thing on Earth to do.
I think I'll call it Aching Reprieve. Or perhaps The Price of Another Try.
~ I leave his office crying. Is it all joy? Certainly not. Celebrating the renewal of one dream but at the same time mourning the loss of another. Are the two even separable?
I am awash with unspeakable relief. I am distraught at the prospect of selling out for a second chance. How can I quit my dream? How can I not? The goal can lead to its own ruination.
I hadn't started crying until he gave me the good news. One word. I melt. After so very long on the razor's edge.
The darkness lifted, I glimpse the sun. A new twilight settles. I can hold back the tears no longer.
He tells me that I owe myself a second chance.
I still wonder if it's the subject or me.
Did I try hard enough? Was I just not giving my all?
Was the dream worth it?
Can I be happy?
And the doubt that lurks always in my mind:
Was I even capable of doing it?
Is this what I want? ~
~ From the life of Renee
I should pay Dr. Miller a visit...
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Not for just anyone...
So the summer sessions are over and we are but days from the beginning of fall classes here at Purdue. Those of you that know me well will probably be aware of the fact that I usually don't take breaks well. Though I relish the lack of deadlines and work, I get bored easily. That having been said, I could easily deal with this little break lasting for another week or two. Still, even though I have been enjoying my short period of somnolence, I am a bit excited for the semester to begin. I'm gonna learn Spanish!
I'm also going to see the Dalai Lama in October. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to go all that badly, but then after talking to a couple people figured that, what the heck, it's probably not an opportunity that all that many people get, I might as well go for it. I also thought that $26 was not a bad price for enlightenment, but Ryan tells me that he doubts that enlightenment is included in the ticket price.
Speaking of prices, one of my more recent, and very salient goals is to save a goodly portion of money. That money will most likely go to one of three things. Those things would be: Music lessons, flying lessons, or investing. The problem being that I'm not sure which to go for. Allow me to present each case.
1) Music. I have always wanted to learn to play an instrument really well. The top contenders would be piano (not very portable, but wonderful), guitar (not my favorite instrument in the world, but portable, and I own one already), and last but not least, violin (portable, fantastically beautiful instrument, but possibly harder to learn).
2) Flying. Since I was a small child I've wanted to get my pilot's license and I have recently learned of Lafayette Aviation which happens to be headquartered at the Purdue Airport. A lesson or two a month would be fantastic! With 10-20 hours I could have my license.
3) Investing. I've always considered it a smart thing to do, especially if you start early. I'd love to be putting money away (and having it earn oodles of interest hopefully) before I hit 25. If I choose to go that route it could happen before I hit 23.
So, people who know me, thoughts?
"Wow! That is some strong gum." ~ Moi
"It's like chewing on a lavender bush!" ~ The Rex
Try the new Trident Wild Blueberry Twist!
I'm also going to see the Dalai Lama in October. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to go all that badly, but then after talking to a couple people figured that, what the heck, it's probably not an opportunity that all that many people get, I might as well go for it. I also thought that $26 was not a bad price for enlightenment, but Ryan tells me that he doubts that enlightenment is included in the ticket price.
Speaking of prices, one of my more recent, and very salient goals is to save a goodly portion of money. That money will most likely go to one of three things. Those things would be: Music lessons, flying lessons, or investing. The problem being that I'm not sure which to go for. Allow me to present each case.
1) Music. I have always wanted to learn to play an instrument really well. The top contenders would be piano (not very portable, but wonderful), guitar (not my favorite instrument in the world, but portable, and I own one already), and last but not least, violin (portable, fantastically beautiful instrument, but possibly harder to learn).
2) Flying. Since I was a small child I've wanted to get my pilot's license and I have recently learned of Lafayette Aviation which happens to be headquartered at the Purdue Airport. A lesson or two a month would be fantastic! With 10-20 hours I could have my license.
3) Investing. I've always considered it a smart thing to do, especially if you start early. I'd love to be putting money away (and having it earn oodles of interest hopefully) before I hit 25. If I choose to go that route it could happen before I hit 23.
So, people who know me, thoughts?
"Wow! That is some strong gum." ~ Moi
"It's like chewing on a lavender bush!" ~ The Rex
Try the new Trident Wild Blueberry Twist!
Friday, August 03, 2007
Something new and different...
~ Jaden McAllister slipped the knife back into it's sheath and finished pulling the ropes from his ankles. He didn't know why the heck he'd been left his dagger, or why his hands had been tied so loosely for that matter, but he got the impression that he'd find out quite soon. To soon.
A short panel in the wall began to slide open and he smoothly came to his feet. Disconcerting scratching noises were coming from the other side of the quickly widening gap.
He used his last free second to scan the room again. Nothing to take cover behind, nothing to climb. Jaden once again unsheathed his dagger. Looked like he would have to stand and fight.
A lioness came gliding out of the little door, as silent as a shadow, hugging the wall. The opening closed behind her as she circled Jaden. He turned with her, his thoughts racing.
'What is this, the dark ages? Am I to be martyred? What's next? A gladiator match? I can't kill this, it's a protected species!'
Just as Jaden decided that the lone lioness probably wouldn't attack him another panel began to grind open. His decision was split second and final.
Just as the second lioness slunk out to join the first Jaden ripped off his shirt and flung it up at the moving camera head high above that had been tracking him all this time, hoping to God that it would catch on something. With a silent Hail Mary on his lips, Jaden threw himself at his only hope for escape.
What he heard behind him was the scuffling of the lionesses who had deduced the escape plan of their only potential prey and had decided to make a last ditch effort at conquest. The muffled bump of the panel closing shut them off abruptly, leaving Jaden in absolute darkness. He groped around himself to try and establish bearings. He could feel the blood thudding in his face and neck and realized that he was breathing quite hard. He felt hot all over and his bare chest was slick with sweat.
Knife still to hand he began crawling along the tunnel he'd dived into. It turned out to be quite succinct, ending perhaps eight feet later in a cool metal door. He ran his hands over and around it. No handle, no gaps.
It occurred to Jaden that he'd be royally screwed if another lioness was let through this way.
'Or if they let the two in the room back in', the voice of logic reminded him dismally.
"Well this is just fan-damn-tastic." He said aloud. ~
~ It's all me baby.
A short panel in the wall began to slide open and he smoothly came to his feet. Disconcerting scratching noises were coming from the other side of the quickly widening gap.
He used his last free second to scan the room again. Nothing to take cover behind, nothing to climb. Jaden once again unsheathed his dagger. Looked like he would have to stand and fight.
A lioness came gliding out of the little door, as silent as a shadow, hugging the wall. The opening closed behind her as she circled Jaden. He turned with her, his thoughts racing.
'What is this, the dark ages? Am I to be martyred? What's next? A gladiator match? I can't kill this, it's a protected species!'
Just as Jaden decided that the lone lioness probably wouldn't attack him another panel began to grind open. His decision was split second and final.
Just as the second lioness slunk out to join the first Jaden ripped off his shirt and flung it up at the moving camera head high above that had been tracking him all this time, hoping to God that it would catch on something. With a silent Hail Mary on his lips, Jaden threw himself at his only hope for escape.
What he heard behind him was the scuffling of the lionesses who had deduced the escape plan of their only potential prey and had decided to make a last ditch effort at conquest. The muffled bump of the panel closing shut them off abruptly, leaving Jaden in absolute darkness. He groped around himself to try and establish bearings. He could feel the blood thudding in his face and neck and realized that he was breathing quite hard. He felt hot all over and his bare chest was slick with sweat.
Knife still to hand he began crawling along the tunnel he'd dived into. It turned out to be quite succinct, ending perhaps eight feet later in a cool metal door. He ran his hands over and around it. No handle, no gaps.
It occurred to Jaden that he'd be royally screwed if another lioness was let through this way.
'Or if they let the two in the room back in', the voice of logic reminded him dismally.
"Well this is just fan-damn-tastic." He said aloud. ~
~ It's all me baby.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Everything you ever didn't want to know about me...
Ok, wow this is long long long. I copied this list of so-called "confessions" from someone several months ago figuring that it would make a post for one of those times when I'm very bored and don't feel like actually putting effort into writing something. An "x" marks those things that I am/have/done/etc. You'll get the idea pretty fast I'm sure. You're a smart person.
[] I'm afraid of the quiet. (On the contrary, I'm rather a fan of quietude.)
[] I am really ticklish. (I don't think that I'm really ticklish. Somewhat ticklish yes, much more so as a child.)
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night. (I would prefer to see people before they see me, and thus would take the darker position if available, But I'm not obsessive about it.)
[] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Sorta?)
[] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[] I watch the news.
[] I own over 5 rap CDs. (Oh good gosh, when chickens have lips!)
[] I own something from Hot Topic. (I've passed it in the mall...)
[] I love Disney movies.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse sometimes (I have been known to utter the occasional expletive. Historically the majority of instances have had to do with my car or my school.)
[] I have "x"s in my screen name
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[] I love Spam. (Aaack, gag, choke.)
[x] I bake well.
[] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x]I have a job. (Since when is that a confession?)
[] I love Martha Stewart. (Lawd hep us, hep us all!)
[] I have loved someone. (I have loved lots of people and still, in fact, do. But I am assuming that this means been in love with someone, and I would hope that if I had, I would know it.)
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I despise it when people do that!!)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol (Communion wine counts right?)
[] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[] I have tried a cigarette. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day. In fact my pretend voice has suffered for it. I generally pretend to cough until about noon every day.)
[] I have smoked a pack in one day. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day...)
[] I loved Go Ask Alice. (I don't even know what that is.)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (What are you supposed to do? Throw away the surplus? Besides, sometimes people get random sore throats. It's something to keep on hand, like aspirin or Preparation H...)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have many scars. (A goodly number I suppose)
[] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (That depends. What kind of spider is it? A little harmless house spider or a big nasty, hirsute spider? Is it sitting peaceably in it's web up in the corner or is it roaming at large? So many variables...hard to say...)
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me. (I'm not sure how comfortable I could be being someone else, but then I have been someone else in dreams and I seemed quite comfortable. It is entirely possible that I would be comfortable being anybody...)
[] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[] Gotten lost in the city. (Turned around, yes. Lost, no.)
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Had a serious surgery. (Is the gallbladder removed serious?)
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a physical fight. (Heck yeah.)
[] Been arrested. (No, but I have ridden in a police car.)
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] Made out in an elevator.
[] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (I have kicked guys and from their reaction judged that it hurt. I have not kicked one in the testicles yet though.)
[] Been skydiving. (On the TTDBID list)
[] Been bungee jumping. (See above)
[x] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] Bitten someone. (I don't think I have....I might have...)
[] Been to Niagara Falls.
[] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Crashed into a car. (Not while I was driving, while I was a passenger once.)
[] Been to Japan. (On the list.)
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired. (Been begged to stay though.That's good for the ego, lemme tell ya.)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job. (Oh my goodness, in every job I've ever had it would have been so incredibly easy. Poor trusting fools...)
[] Gone on a blind date.
[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach. (Does blatant admiration/hero worship count?)
[] Been to Europe
[] Been married.
[] Gotten divorced. (I wanted to "x" this one just because the "been married" one was not checked.)
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[] Been to Canada.
[x] Been On A Plane. (I like that everything is capitalized for this one. I've also had control Of A Plane.)
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] Thrown up in a bar.
[] Eaten Sushi.
[] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed. (They call me Kamikaze but even I'm not that stupid. If I wanted to get killed I'd choose a less potentially painful mode of demise.)
[] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have
[x] Thought someone was interested in you
[] Mutually interested in that same person
And there ya have it folks! If you made it all the way down here I commend you. You have my respect. Maybe a little admiration thrown in for kicks. And a dash of awe to bring out the flavor.
[] I'm afraid of the quiet. (On the contrary, I'm rather a fan of quietude.)
[] I am really ticklish. (I don't think that I'm really ticklish. Somewhat ticklish yes, much more so as a child.)
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night. (I would prefer to see people before they see me, and thus would take the darker position if available, But I'm not obsessive about it.)
[] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Sorta?)
[] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[] I watch the news.
[] I own over 5 rap CDs. (Oh good gosh, when chickens have lips!)
[] I own something from Hot Topic. (I've passed it in the mall...)
[] I love Disney movies.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse sometimes (I have been known to utter the occasional expletive. Historically the majority of instances have had to do with my car or my school.)
[] I have "x"s in my screen name
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[] I love Spam. (Aaack, gag, choke.)
[x] I bake well.
[] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x]I have a job. (Since when is that a confession?)
[] I love Martha Stewart. (Lawd hep us, hep us all!)
[] I have loved someone. (I have loved lots of people and still, in fact, do. But I am assuming that this means been in love with someone, and I would hope that if I had, I would know it.)
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I despise it when people do that!!)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol (Communion wine counts right?)
[] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[] I have tried a cigarette. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day. In fact my pretend voice has suffered for it. I generally pretend to cough until about noon every day.)
[] I have smoked a pack in one day. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day...)
[] I loved Go Ask Alice. (I don't even know what that is.)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (What are you supposed to do? Throw away the surplus? Besides, sometimes people get random sore throats. It's something to keep on hand, like aspirin or Preparation H...)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have many scars. (A goodly number I suppose)
[] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (That depends. What kind of spider is it? A little harmless house spider or a big nasty, hirsute spider? Is it sitting peaceably in it's web up in the corner or is it roaming at large? So many variables...hard to say...)
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me. (I'm not sure how comfortable I could be being someone else, but then I have been someone else in dreams and I seemed quite comfortable. It is entirely possible that I would be comfortable being anybody...)
[] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[] Gotten lost in the city. (Turned around, yes. Lost, no.)
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Had a serious surgery. (Is the gallbladder removed serious?)
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a physical fight. (Heck yeah.)
[] Been arrested. (No, but I have ridden in a police car.)
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] Made out in an elevator.
[] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (I have kicked guys and from their reaction judged that it hurt. I have not kicked one in the testicles yet though.)
[] Been skydiving. (On the TTDBID list)
[] Been bungee jumping. (See above)
[x] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] Bitten someone. (I don't think I have....I might have...)
[] Been to Niagara Falls.
[] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Crashed into a car. (Not while I was driving, while I was a passenger once.)
[] Been to Japan. (On the list.)
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired. (Been begged to stay though.That's good for the ego, lemme tell ya.)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job. (Oh my goodness, in every job I've ever had it would have been so incredibly easy. Poor trusting fools...)
[] Gone on a blind date.
[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach. (Does blatant admiration/hero worship count?)
[] Been to Europe
[] Been married.
[] Gotten divorced. (I wanted to "x" this one just because the "been married" one was not checked.)
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[] Been to Canada.
[x] Been On A Plane. (I like that everything is capitalized for this one. I've also had control Of A Plane.)
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] Thrown up in a bar.
[] Eaten Sushi.
[] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed. (They call me Kamikaze but even I'm not that stupid. If I wanted to get killed I'd choose a less potentially painful mode of demise.)
[] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have
[x] Thought someone was interested in you
[] Mutually interested in that same person
And there ya have it folks! If you made it all the way down here I commend you. You have my respect. Maybe a little admiration thrown in for kicks. And a dash of awe to bring out the flavor.
Friday, July 20, 2007
You know what's funny?...
A lone penguin slipping on a banana peel on an ice shelf.
Recently (as in the past 2 days) I have been listening to some songs by a group called Aqua.
Are they a 90's dance/pop group? Yes.
Are their lyrics less then simplistic? Yes.
Are their songs packed full of sexual innuendos so transparent as to not even be entertaining? Yes.
Do they have catchy tunes? Yes.
Are a good number of their music videos on Youtube? Yes.
The ones that I like are Around the World (this is probably the best of them, and deviates from the double entendres template), Turn Back Time, Cartoon Heroes (very catchy, indeed), Roses are Red (inexplicably, it's almost annoying), and Barbie Girl is just plain entertaining. Apparently there was a lawsuit involving Mattel at some point. Fascinating.
In other news, in just a few short business days I should be receiving my very own, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, copy of the HBO series Band of Brothers. If you haven't seen it, I strongly urge you to make every attempt. Benji was kind enough to let me borrow his set for a couple weeks and they were good enough that I wanted my own. I am quite excited. It's a fantastic series, wonderfully done.
To you Regular Readers, I apologize for the lack of substantial posting of late. I know that this one little article about a band and a TV show is not exactly ground breaking, and certainly does not merit your patient, continued viewing of this site. But I still appreciate it immensely. And, hopefully, I will soon have time (not to mention a better subject) with which to write.
Until we meet again!
~ "Look Stan, maybe you don't realize what a moron you are but, as an objective observer, I can tell you that it is quite obnoxious. Insufferable even. In fact, I'm going to leave the room right now. No offense, it's just that you're an idiot, nothing personal now. No hard feelings right?" ~
~ Jared Evans, from the mind of Renee.
Recently (as in the past 2 days) I have been listening to some songs by a group called Aqua.
Are they a 90's dance/pop group? Yes.
Are their lyrics less then simplistic? Yes.
Are their songs packed full of sexual innuendos so transparent as to not even be entertaining? Yes.
Do they have catchy tunes? Yes.
Are a good number of their music videos on Youtube? Yes.
The ones that I like are Around the World (this is probably the best of them, and deviates from the double entendres template), Turn Back Time, Cartoon Heroes (very catchy, indeed), Roses are Red (inexplicably, it's almost annoying), and Barbie Girl is just plain entertaining. Apparently there was a lawsuit involving Mattel at some point. Fascinating.
In other news, in just a few short business days I should be receiving my very own, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, copy of the HBO series Band of Brothers. If you haven't seen it, I strongly urge you to make every attempt. Benji was kind enough to let me borrow his set for a couple weeks and they were good enough that I wanted my own. I am quite excited. It's a fantastic series, wonderfully done.
To you Regular Readers, I apologize for the lack of substantial posting of late. I know that this one little article about a band and a TV show is not exactly ground breaking, and certainly does not merit your patient, continued viewing of this site. But I still appreciate it immensely. And, hopefully, I will soon have time (not to mention a better subject) with which to write.
Until we meet again!
~ "Look Stan, maybe you don't realize what a moron you are but, as an objective observer, I can tell you that it is quite obnoxious. Insufferable even. In fact, I'm going to leave the room right now. No offense, it's just that you're an idiot, nothing personal now. No hard feelings right?" ~
~ Jared Evans, from the mind of Renee.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Hey, remember that time...
...we couldn't start a fire?
Ah, sweet memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages- ehem. Ok.
Once upon a time, so very long ago (last week), a couple of friends decided to start a fire. They wanted to sleep beside it outside underneath the twinkling stars. They wanted it to warm them and keep the bugs away. The friends gathered everything that they needed for their camp-out. The boy friends split lots of dry, dry wood with big axes. The girl friends gathered paper and cardboard and carrots and crisp bunches of hay.
The friends all congregated around the fire pit and went to work building the perfect cheery fire. But there was a problem. The crisp bunches of hay wouldn't stay lit. The cardboard and paper burned out without catching anything around them on fire. The dry, dry tinder didn't even singe. The carrots were no good at all.
One of the boy friends tried walking away from the fire pit, in case his aura was dousing the flames. It did no good. The other boy friend tried lighting alcohol hand sanitizer on fire and that did no good. It just burned right out.
20 minutes later, after many many failed attempts, one of the girl friends used up all of her allotment of talent and luck and expertise and pyro magic for that entire year and finally was able to get the fire to start burning.
The friends stacked lots of dry tinder and other flammable materials around their fire pit and soaked it with gasoline to make sure the fire didn't spread. Safety should always come first kids!
"You have no idea what this fire is incapable of!"
~ Brain Garwood
"Dear Pile of Flammable Things and Alcohol,
What the f**k!?
Sincerely,
Ryan"
~ Brain Garwood
Ah, sweet memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages- ehem. Ok.
Once upon a time, so very long ago (last week), a couple of friends decided to start a fire. They wanted to sleep beside it outside underneath the twinkling stars. They wanted it to warm them and keep the bugs away. The friends gathered everything that they needed for their camp-out. The boy friends split lots of dry, dry wood with big axes. The girl friends gathered paper and cardboard and carrots and crisp bunches of hay.
The friends all congregated around the fire pit and went to work building the perfect cheery fire. But there was a problem. The crisp bunches of hay wouldn't stay lit. The cardboard and paper burned out without catching anything around them on fire. The dry, dry tinder didn't even singe. The carrots were no good at all.
One of the boy friends tried walking away from the fire pit, in case his aura was dousing the flames. It did no good. The other boy friend tried lighting alcohol hand sanitizer on fire and that did no good. It just burned right out.
20 minutes later, after many many failed attempts, one of the girl friends used up all of her allotment of talent and luck and expertise and pyro magic for that entire year and finally was able to get the fire to start burning.
The friends stacked lots of dry tinder and other flammable materials around their fire pit and soaked it with gasoline to make sure the fire didn't spread. Safety should always come first kids!
"You have no idea what this fire is incapable of!"
~ Brain Garwood
"Dear Pile of Flammable Things and Alcohol,
What the f**k!?
Sincerely,
Ryan"
~ Brain Garwood
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Alone in a crowd...
~ Aiden entered the tiny cafe and did what he always did first. He stopped just inside the door and took a very deep breath. As always it smelled of coffee and chocolate and toasted bread and something else that always eluded him. Was it wood? A spice? Aiden never spent to long mulling over that, lest he ruin it by actually recognizing the scent.
It was a small place, tucked in between two buildings with a tiny sign out front that, though bad for hauling in more patron base, was good in the respect that the place was always quite, never crowded, and the people that were there you'd probably seen there many, many times before.
As it was such a long and narrow space the few seats near the bank of windows in the front were taken almost continually. Aiden was ok with that. He preferred to sit farther back, in one of the invitingly dim, by comparison at least, nooks or crannies. Today though he wasn't alone and not likely to want to sit in an isolated nook watching the world spin about him, while his own personal time stood still in its continuum. This time he went to one of the tables at the front, delicately sun splashed and miraculously uninhabited. He gestured Jacob to a chair.
“So what do you think? I've always liked this place. Found it by almost getting hit by a car.” Jacob glanced around and shot a charmingly casual smile at the cashier.
“Oh yeah? Nice place.”
The cashier blushed in an incredibly adolescent manner and went back to mixing the latte for the customer at the counter. She promptly messed up the order, blushed again and started over. Jacob tactfully didn't notice and scanned the large blackboard that the menu was scrawled on.
"So, what's good here?" ~
~ I made this!
Update: I am currently on page 16 of the would be manuscript. That is roughly a tenth of the size of an "average" novel. So far I think that it's going well. The pacing can be scary. The reassuring thing is that with the kind of format that I've used so far I think that I could go back and insert some additional scenes, should the central plot line end up shorter then I intended. I am constantly hit by tiny modules of panicked worry that this endeavor will not only come to nothing because of the fact that I am making a point of writing, but that I will also completely ruin the story because I rushed it. Hopefully I am wrong on both counts. I have gone back and rewritten one scene that I was not happy with. That was somewhat reassuring. Nothing is permanent.
It was a small place, tucked in between two buildings with a tiny sign out front that, though bad for hauling in more patron base, was good in the respect that the place was always quite, never crowded, and the people that were there you'd probably seen there many, many times before.
As it was such a long and narrow space the few seats near the bank of windows in the front were taken almost continually. Aiden was ok with that. He preferred to sit farther back, in one of the invitingly dim, by comparison at least, nooks or crannies. Today though he wasn't alone and not likely to want to sit in an isolated nook watching the world spin about him, while his own personal time stood still in its continuum. This time he went to one of the tables at the front, delicately sun splashed and miraculously uninhabited. He gestured Jacob to a chair.
“So what do you think? I've always liked this place. Found it by almost getting hit by a car.” Jacob glanced around and shot a charmingly casual smile at the cashier.
“Oh yeah? Nice place.”
The cashier blushed in an incredibly adolescent manner and went back to mixing the latte for the customer at the counter. She promptly messed up the order, blushed again and started over. Jacob tactfully didn't notice and scanned the large blackboard that the menu was scrawled on.
"So, what's good here?" ~
~ I made this!
Update: I am currently on page 16 of the would be manuscript. That is roughly a tenth of the size of an "average" novel. So far I think that it's going well. The pacing can be scary. The reassuring thing is that with the kind of format that I've used so far I think that I could go back and insert some additional scenes, should the central plot line end up shorter then I intended. I am constantly hit by tiny modules of panicked worry that this endeavor will not only come to nothing because of the fact that I am making a point of writing, but that I will also completely ruin the story because I rushed it. Hopefully I am wrong on both counts. I have gone back and rewritten one scene that I was not happy with. That was somewhat reassuring. Nothing is permanent.
Friday, June 29, 2007
As good as it gets...
~ It was Charlene Farrisworth's job to shush people, and she took great pride in that.
She'd gone to great lengths to become the stereotypical librarian. She'd dyed her hair gray, wearing it in a tight bun on the back of her head. She wore dowdy cardigans and tweed skirts. She wore bulky oxfords and thick glasses which she'd had to have specially made, her natural vision was 20/20. She was madly obsessive about her obscenely obsolete card catalog, going through it at least 5 times a week to check for misplaced or damaged cards.
Her favorite ritual of all though, was the stamping of the "date due" cards. At the front of her desk, in a neat semi-circle, stood all the required paraphernalia. Blank cards, manipulable rubber stamp, a fresh ink pad.
With relish (and taking her time, the patron could wait) Ms Farrisworth would reverently open the pad, double check the date on the stamp, gently ink it and then abruptly, and with a good measure of muscle behind it, brand the numbers on the virgin card. Tucking it lovingly and snugly into the pocket and snapping the book shut Ms Farrisworth would hand it to the patron, take on an almost disdainful tilt of the head and say her favorite line in all the world.
"That will be due back in 3 weeks." ~
~ From my world
She'd gone to great lengths to become the stereotypical librarian. She'd dyed her hair gray, wearing it in a tight bun on the back of her head. She wore dowdy cardigans and tweed skirts. She wore bulky oxfords and thick glasses which she'd had to have specially made, her natural vision was 20/20. She was madly obsessive about her obscenely obsolete card catalog, going through it at least 5 times a week to check for misplaced or damaged cards.
Her favorite ritual of all though, was the stamping of the "date due" cards. At the front of her desk, in a neat semi-circle, stood all the required paraphernalia. Blank cards, manipulable rubber stamp, a fresh ink pad.
With relish (and taking her time, the patron could wait) Ms Farrisworth would reverently open the pad, double check the date on the stamp, gently ink it and then abruptly, and with a good measure of muscle behind it, brand the numbers on the virgin card. Tucking it lovingly and snugly into the pocket and snapping the book shut Ms Farrisworth would hand it to the patron, take on an almost disdainful tilt of the head and say her favorite line in all the world.
"That will be due back in 3 weeks." ~
~ From my world
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Caffeine is a catalyst...
I spent yesterday evening hanging out with Jenny in the Village Coffee House, sipping a latte and working on the previously stated goal of writing a book. I thought that it went quite well. Seeing our location we felt it necessary (it was Jenny's idea and I am extremely impressionable and emulative) to utilize the same AIM away message that Benji usually employs. Namely: "At the Village Coffee House."
This conversation with Paul ensued (I've left every single typo of mine in for effect. And because if I made a point of editing them out and still missed some, well, that would just make me look stupid.)
captderiv (10:41:10 PM):
Benji!
joyful zephyr (10:41:07 PM):
At the Village Coffee House.
captderiv (10:41:21 PM):
I'd recognize that trademark away message anywhere
captderiv (10:41:34 PM):
So how'd you h4><04rz Renee's account?
joyful zephyr (10:42:02 PM):
ok, you've figured it out. Benji and Renee are in fact the same person. That is why we have never been seen in a room together.
captderiv (10:42:32 PM):
...
captderiv (10:42:37 PM):
It all makes sense now
captderiv (10:43:02 PM):
In hindsight, I should've recognized the signs when we were roommates
captderiv (10:43:14 PM):
All the nudity and yogurt was a clever cover
joyful zephyr (10:43:38 PM):
Yup, women and Benji like yogurt
joyful zephyr (10:43:41 PM):
and nudity
joyful zephyr (10:45:35 PM):
It's either that explanation or this one: Benji is my hero and I absolutely worship the ground that he walks on. I emulate his every move and am a this very moment worshiping the chair that he sits at in the Temple of Village.
joyful zephyr (10:45:54 PM):
You can take your pick really.
joyful zephyr (10:46:02 PM):
captderiv (10:47:44 PM):
You'd *like* to pick one or the other, wouldn't you?
captderiv (10:48:01 PM):
When in fact, the answer is... *both*!
captderiv (10:49:31 PM):
What better way to bootstrap your new Benjiist cult?
joyful zephyr (10:50:17 PM):
damn, all my attemps at redirecting your attention are repeatedly foiled!
captderiv (10:51:12 PM):
You can't get anything past me!
captderiv (10:51:19 PM):
Um, except for the Benji/Renee duality.
captderiv (10:51:33 PM):
But I'm sure that's the only exception, ever.
joyful zephyr (10:51:59 PM):
Word on the streets has it that there is a first time for everything.
captderiv (10:52:50 PM):
First time I've heard the streets say that.
joyful zephyr (10:54:16 PM):
oh yeah? They're quite talkative once you get to know them
captderiv (10:55:55 PM):
The streets talking isn't the problem
captderiv (10:56:01 PM):
You can't shut them up half the time
captderiv (10:56:14 PM):
It's just that most of the time they talk about the most inane stuff you could imagine
captderiv (10:56:37 PM):
I've just gotten used to tuning them out, I guess
Later...
captderiv (11:13:57 PM):
Apparently I can spell correctly but can't do simple arithmetic anymore
joyful zephyr (11:14:14 PM):
well we all have out moment in the sun
joyful zephyr (11:14:26 PM):
If you're a dog you get one day
captderiv (11:14:43 PM):
But at least that's seven days in, um, dog days
captderiv (11:15:12 PM):
Or is the phrase already adjusted for that?
captderiv (11:15:31 PM):
Maybe every dog only really gets 3.43 hours
captderiv (11:15:43 PM):
But, being a dog, doesn't know any better
joyful zephyr (11:16:11 PM):
And you claim that you've used up your simple arithmetic skills!
captderiv (11:16:34 PM):
I busted out my use-my-computer's-calculator skills
joyful zephyr (11:17:19 PM):
always handy. Especially if you have to survive in the wilderness.
captderiv (11:17:41 PM):
Well, I can program my own calculator, you know
joyful zephyr (11:17:51 PM):
I do know. I saw that blog post!
captderiv (11:17:58 PM):
Building a computer out of twigs and leaves, that's the part I haven't figured out yet
joyful zephyr (11:18:29 PM):
Perhaps with more time to run trials.
captderiv (11:18:57 PM):
I tried submitting another NSF grant application, but they stopped returning my calls
joyful zephyr (11:19:35 PM):
a discourging setback indeed
joyful zephyr (11:20:18 PM):
but let not your heart be downcast! Forge ahead, tread heavily where angels wear hobnailed boots, attempthe impossible!
captderiv (11:20:50 PM):
Who are you calling an attempthe?
Much later still...
joyful zephyr (12:00:38 AM):
I believe that I may post that entire converation that transpired between us on my blog. It highly amused me. I laughed aloud at a few points. Do you mind transcripts of your conversations being randomly posted on small, backwater sites? Check yes or no:
The next day...
captderiv (11:09:51 AM):
( ) Yes (X) No ( ) Buchanan
It made me laugh.
The other day I had a moment of discouragement wondering how the heck I would ever write a book. Was the story premise good enough to expand to novel size and would my making a point of writing cause me to write really badly? Then I realized something. Whether or not this turns out good, I can still say that I wrote a book in the end!
Last night I took the story in a direction that I'd never thought about before. I think it turned out really good and supplied a whole new vein of potential. I really believe that I can do this.
Guess I should go tell Benji that we're the same person now.
~ captderiv (11:32:27 PM):
I never knew high voltage and old lace were interchangeable ~
This conversation with Paul ensued (I've left every single typo of mine in for effect. And because if I made a point of editing them out and still missed some, well, that would just make me look stupid.)
captderiv (10:41:10 PM):
Benji!
joyful zephyr (10:41:07 PM):
At the Village Coffee House.
captderiv (10:41:21 PM):
I'd recognize that trademark away message anywhere
captderiv (10:41:34 PM):
So how'd you h4><04rz Renee's account?
joyful zephyr (10:42:02 PM):
ok, you've figured it out. Benji and Renee are in fact the same person. That is why we have never been seen in a room together.
captderiv (10:42:32 PM):
...
captderiv (10:42:37 PM):
It all makes sense now
captderiv (10:43:02 PM):
In hindsight, I should've recognized the signs when we were roommates
captderiv (10:43:14 PM):
All the nudity and yogurt was a clever cover
joyful zephyr (10:43:38 PM):
Yup, women and Benji like yogurt
joyful zephyr (10:43:41 PM):
and nudity
joyful zephyr (10:45:35 PM):
It's either that explanation or this one: Benji is my hero and I absolutely worship the ground that he walks on. I emulate his every move and am a this very moment worshiping the chair that he sits at in the Temple of Village.
joyful zephyr (10:45:54 PM):
You can take your pick really.
joyful zephyr (10:46:02 PM):
captderiv (10:47:44 PM):
You'd *like* to pick one or the other, wouldn't you?
captderiv (10:48:01 PM):
When in fact, the answer is... *both*!
captderiv (10:49:31 PM):
What better way to bootstrap your new Benjiist cult?
joyful zephyr (10:50:17 PM):
damn, all my attemps at redirecting your attention are repeatedly foiled!
captderiv (10:51:12 PM):
You can't get anything past me!
captderiv (10:51:19 PM):
Um, except for the Benji/Renee duality.
captderiv (10:51:33 PM):
But I'm sure that's the only exception, ever.
joyful zephyr (10:51:59 PM):
Word on the streets has it that there is a first time for everything.
captderiv (10:52:50 PM):
First time I've heard the streets say that.
joyful zephyr (10:54:16 PM):
oh yeah? They're quite talkative once you get to know them
captderiv (10:55:55 PM):
The streets talking isn't the problem
captderiv (10:56:01 PM):
You can't shut them up half the time
captderiv (10:56:14 PM):
It's just that most of the time they talk about the most inane stuff you could imagine
captderiv (10:56:37 PM):
I've just gotten used to tuning them out, I guess
Later...
captderiv (11:13:57 PM):
Apparently I can spell correctly but can't do simple arithmetic anymore
joyful zephyr (11:14:14 PM):
well we all have out moment in the sun
joyful zephyr (11:14:26 PM):
If you're a dog you get one day
captderiv (11:14:43 PM):
But at least that's seven days in, um, dog days
captderiv (11:15:12 PM):
Or is the phrase already adjusted for that?
captderiv (11:15:31 PM):
Maybe every dog only really gets 3.43 hours
captderiv (11:15:43 PM):
But, being a dog, doesn't know any better
joyful zephyr (11:16:11 PM):
And you claim that you've used up your simple arithmetic skills!
captderiv (11:16:34 PM):
I busted out my use-my-computer's-calculator skills
joyful zephyr (11:17:19 PM):
always handy. Especially if you have to survive in the wilderness.
captderiv (11:17:41 PM):
Well, I can program my own calculator, you know
joyful zephyr (11:17:51 PM):
I do know. I saw that blog post!
captderiv (11:17:58 PM):
Building a computer out of twigs and leaves, that's the part I haven't figured out yet
joyful zephyr (11:18:29 PM):
Perhaps with more time to run trials.
captderiv (11:18:57 PM):
I tried submitting another NSF grant application, but they stopped returning my calls
joyful zephyr (11:19:35 PM):
a discourging setback indeed
joyful zephyr (11:20:18 PM):
but let not your heart be downcast! Forge ahead, tread heavily where angels wear hobnailed boots, attempthe impossible!
captderiv (11:20:50 PM):
Who are you calling an attempthe?
Much later still...
joyful zephyr (12:00:38 AM):
I believe that I may post that entire converation that transpired between us on my blog. It highly amused me. I laughed aloud at a few points. Do you mind transcripts of your conversations being randomly posted on small, backwater sites? Check yes or no:
The next day...
captderiv (11:09:51 AM):
( ) Yes (X) No ( ) Buchanan
It made me laugh.
The other day I had a moment of discouragement wondering how the heck I would ever write a book. Was the story premise good enough to expand to novel size and would my making a point of writing cause me to write really badly? Then I realized something. Whether or not this turns out good, I can still say that I wrote a book in the end!
Last night I took the story in a direction that I'd never thought about before. I think it turned out really good and supplied a whole new vein of potential. I really believe that I can do this.
Guess I should go tell Benji that we're the same person now.
~ captderiv (11:32:27 PM):
I never knew high voltage and old lace were interchangeable ~
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Second stage of grief...
~ Aiden didn't return to his room until much later that night. He was satisfyingly exhausted, wet from the rain that just kept coming, and, for one of the first times in his life, just a little bit drunk.
Unfortunately, he was abruptly sobered when he switched on the lights to find his cat and the dragon sitting on the table, apparently having just been interrupted from a deep conversation.
Aiden stood in the door for a bit, silently dripping, taking in the peaceful, if not common, scene.
"I thought you were leaving." There was no question to it, just resignation. Aiden closed the door, shed his coat and sat on the bed. He leaned forward, maybe swaying just a tiny bit. For some reason he suddenly got the impression that the dragon was sympathetic. It made Aiden a little angry. The dragon shook his tiny head.
"No, no I wasn't actually. Even if I'd wanted to though, how could I? You locked the door."
"There's a lovely balcony just outside that's perfect for jumping off of." Aiden muttered fiercely. ~
~ I made this.
Unfortunately, he was abruptly sobered when he switched on the lights to find his cat and the dragon sitting on the table, apparently having just been interrupted from a deep conversation.
Aiden stood in the door for a bit, silently dripping, taking in the peaceful, if not common, scene.
"I thought you were leaving." There was no question to it, just resignation. Aiden closed the door, shed his coat and sat on the bed. He leaned forward, maybe swaying just a tiny bit. For some reason he suddenly got the impression that the dragon was sympathetic. It made Aiden a little angry. The dragon shook his tiny head.
"No, no I wasn't actually. Even if I'd wanted to though, how could I? You locked the door."
"There's a lovely balcony just outside that's perfect for jumping off of." Aiden muttered fiercely. ~
~ I made this.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
It seemed so natural...
Benji asked me if there was anything that I really would just love to do with my life. My answer: "There's lots of things that I'd like to try." Like and try being the key words there. Devote and commit are both terms that I don't seem to be a huge fan of.
I realized that there are some things that I would actually really love to devote myself to. I would love to be a writer. Not like I am now, but a published writer. One making money. To that end, my goal for the moment is to continue working on Aiden's story and try to get that published. Of all my stories I think that that is the one that probably has the most potential as far as my ability to write goes, and has a relatively concise and complete plot line that doesn't exactly require time consuming research. Is it good enough to be published? I don't know. We'll see won't we.
Another thing that I'd love to keep doing is improv. Easy enough while I'm still in school but what about afterwards? Again, will I ever be good enough to really be considered for any kind of professional group?
Thing number three: I believe that I would love to have a coffee shop. Would I like to have to take care of the actual business aspects of it? Maybe not so much.
For now what I'm going to do is dedicate one evening a week to writing. Probably Thursday or Friday. I haven't really decided yet. That added to what I normally write in a week is not a bad amount. Not enough to make a living on obviously, but then I'm not trying to make a living, I'm trying to have a book published.
That being the case I will probably from here on out not be posting everything I write about Aiden. I'm sure I'll not stop entirely, but the things I do post may not necessarily follow one another.
Wish me luck.
I realized that there are some things that I would actually really love to devote myself to. I would love to be a writer. Not like I am now, but a published writer. One making money. To that end, my goal for the moment is to continue working on Aiden's story and try to get that published. Of all my stories I think that that is the one that probably has the most potential as far as my ability to write goes, and has a relatively concise and complete plot line that doesn't exactly require time consuming research. Is it good enough to be published? I don't know. We'll see won't we.
Another thing that I'd love to keep doing is improv. Easy enough while I'm still in school but what about afterwards? Again, will I ever be good enough to really be considered for any kind of professional group?
Thing number three: I believe that I would love to have a coffee shop. Would I like to have to take care of the actual business aspects of it? Maybe not so much.
For now what I'm going to do is dedicate one evening a week to writing. Probably Thursday or Friday. I haven't really decided yet. That added to what I normally write in a week is not a bad amount. Not enough to make a living on obviously, but then I'm not trying to make a living, I'm trying to have a book published.
That being the case I will probably from here on out not be posting everything I write about Aiden. I'm sure I'll not stop entirely, but the things I do post may not necessarily follow one another.
Wish me luck.
A goodbye of sorts...
I found out Thursday that Roger Bennett, singer, song writer and pianist for Legacy 5, died on March 17th. It was a very strange feeling indeed. I believe that the world has lost a good man and an amazing musician. May his gain be as great.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Captain's log - Stardate: 682523573.954751...
As you will know, having read this site faithfully Faithful Reader, I have been using my entrance into class as acting practice. Some days the effort was rendered null by circumstances such as: Arriving to the room before anyone else. The days when I did take on a personality/character I immediately wrote down what I thought my level of success was and perhaps a couple of observations on the technique/audience. The following is an exact transcript of that log.
Thur 5/17 - Business-like - Successful, easy.
Fri 5/18 - Shy - Successful, not incredibly easy, hard not to make eye contact.
Mon 5/21 - Excited Little Kid - Hard to tell, not easy. Sitting down easiest part.
Tue 5/22 - Stealthy - Not very successful, hard to be stealthy in flip flops w/ noisy rolling chairs. However, great contrast from yesterday so still good.
Wed 5/23 - Bored - Moderately successful, drug feet, somnolent look on face, shoulders hunched, sat heavily. Hardly anybody looking!
Thur 5/24 - Confused - Successful, easy to do, paused often and just inside door looking around, took some time to "choose" my seat. The only issue, freaking people aren't looking much!
Fri 5/25 - Aiden - Successful, very easy, not extremely overt, but neither is he.
Thur 5/31 - Belligerent - Moderately successful, not easy. Banged things, stomped, wasn't sure what facial expressions to do. Got attention due to noisiness.
Fri 6/01 - Jared - Easy, mostly successful. Had to talk to someone and that encroached on the masculine believability.
Tue 6/05 - Librarian - Successful, easy. Carrying books, stereotypical walk.
Wed 6/06 - Edwin - Partially successful, easy, somewhat subdued for him.
There you have it peeps. I've not decided yet whether to continue this challenge into next module. We'll see I guess. I will say that it is a lot harder then you might think, but I believe that it is fantastic practice for improvisationalists or anyone involved with stage. The fact that you are not given the opportunity to talk and that you have such a short space of time to convey an impression in makes it crucial that you use every single action to the greatest extent in the endeavor. It is quite the experience.
Thur 5/17 - Business-like - Successful, easy.
Fri 5/18 - Shy - Successful, not incredibly easy, hard not to make eye contact.
Mon 5/21 - Excited Little Kid - Hard to tell, not easy. Sitting down easiest part.
Tue 5/22 - Stealthy - Not very successful, hard to be stealthy in flip flops w/ noisy rolling chairs. However, great contrast from yesterday so still good.
Wed 5/23 - Bored - Moderately successful, drug feet, somnolent look on face, shoulders hunched, sat heavily. Hardly anybody looking!
Thur 5/24 - Confused - Successful, easy to do, paused often and just inside door looking around, took some time to "choose" my seat. The only issue, freaking people aren't looking much!
Fri 5/25 - Aiden - Successful, very easy, not extremely overt, but neither is he.
Thur 5/31 - Belligerent - Moderately successful, not easy. Banged things, stomped, wasn't sure what facial expressions to do. Got attention due to noisiness.
Fri 6/01 - Jared - Easy, mostly successful. Had to talk to someone and that encroached on the masculine believability.
Tue 6/05 - Librarian - Successful, easy. Carrying books, stereotypical walk.
Wed 6/06 - Edwin - Partially successful, easy, somewhat subdued for him.
There you have it peeps. I've not decided yet whether to continue this challenge into next module. We'll see I guess. I will say that it is a lot harder then you might think, but I believe that it is fantastic practice for improvisationalists or anyone involved with stage. The fact that you are not given the opportunity to talk and that you have such a short space of time to convey an impression in makes it crucial that you use every single action to the greatest extent in the endeavor. It is quite the experience.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
He may never have seen me, but I had to explain it to everybody anyway...
Edit: Since I have gotten several comments from people thinking that this is a bit on the creepy side I have decided to write in a bit of an explanation for it.
This piece is not in any way meant to stand alone. It is actually part of a bigger scene in a much bigger story of which you regular readers know little, if any. The "I" in this story is not a stalker, she actually knows, and is in an intimate relationship with the man in question. This isn't the first time she's seen him butt naked. They will eventually marry, though in this scene that hasn't happened yet. The last line of the bit posted refers to the fact that no matter what happens (and it's a lot, believe you me) she will always remember him in that wild yet peaceful setting.
The reason this was posted as is rather then going into all that gory detail in the first place is because I have been lately trying to put special effort into creating not just a piece of writing, but inspiring a vivid picture in the reader's mind. I thought that this scene didn't do half bad in trying to attain that goal. It's very vivid in my mind at any rate.
~ I happened upon him as in a dream.
He lay on his stomach on the rock verge. His hair, lying in black curls against his neck, still damp from swimming, his clothes off to the side in a state of neat abandonment.
The afternoon sun, sifting through the lush canopy, splashed his body with yellow and green, glinting gold on droplets being pulled by gravity off the masculine contours. Slipping back to the earth from brown legs, caressing the smooth skin of back and arms.
Eyes closed, a look of infinite peace graced his lips.
Water turned gems hung on his dark eyelashes until they suddenly fell, losing their place due to some minuscule movement.
The smooth, sun-warmed stone seemed to cradle him, his lithe body fitting the surroundings so well that it appeared they'd been brought into existence together. They belonged to this place, quiet, savage, unmarred, wild, unknowably serene.
He began to stir and I backed into the protection of forest cover. I did not want him to know that I'd intruded.
He never saw me, but I'll always remember him. ~
~ From my world.
This piece is not in any way meant to stand alone. It is actually part of a bigger scene in a much bigger story of which you regular readers know little, if any. The "I" in this story is not a stalker, she actually knows, and is in an intimate relationship with the man in question. This isn't the first time she's seen him butt naked. They will eventually marry, though in this scene that hasn't happened yet. The last line of the bit posted refers to the fact that no matter what happens (and it's a lot, believe you me) she will always remember him in that wild yet peaceful setting.
The reason this was posted as is rather then going into all that gory detail in the first place is because I have been lately trying to put special effort into creating not just a piece of writing, but inspiring a vivid picture in the reader's mind. I thought that this scene didn't do half bad in trying to attain that goal. It's very vivid in my mind at any rate.
~ I happened upon him as in a dream.
He lay on his stomach on the rock verge. His hair, lying in black curls against his neck, still damp from swimming, his clothes off to the side in a state of neat abandonment.
The afternoon sun, sifting through the lush canopy, splashed his body with yellow and green, glinting gold on droplets being pulled by gravity off the masculine contours. Slipping back to the earth from brown legs, caressing the smooth skin of back and arms.
Eyes closed, a look of infinite peace graced his lips.
Water turned gems hung on his dark eyelashes until they suddenly fell, losing their place due to some minuscule movement.
The smooth, sun-warmed stone seemed to cradle him, his lithe body fitting the surroundings so well that it appeared they'd been brought into existence together. They belonged to this place, quiet, savage, unmarred, wild, unknowably serene.
He began to stir and I backed into the protection of forest cover. I did not want him to know that I'd intruded.
He never saw me, but I'll always remember him. ~
~ From my world.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
The lecture...
~ Jared, standing shoulders back and feet wide, a powerful scowl tightening his lips, was clearly in the midst of a good seethe. Just when Ally began to think that she might be able to walk away and perhaps he wouldn't even see it through the haze of red, he decided to respond.
"Well I'll tell ya how I feel about it. I'm infuriated! What the heck made you think that you didn't have to call?"
Allison came dangerously close to rolling her eyes. "I didn't think it would be that big a deal."
"Well I've got an update for ya. It's a huge deal." He paused to close his eyes and shake his head. "You know the rules and you decided to disregard them. You won't be going out again any time soon."
Ally looked absolutely scandalized. "How long?" She demanded.
"I don't know, I haven't decided yet. But rest assured it will be a good long while."
If looks could kill Jared would have done well to have had his affairs in order. His daughter stormed up the stairs and slammed her door with as much force as she thought she could get away with. ~
~ All mine
"Well I'll tell ya how I feel about it. I'm infuriated! What the heck made you think that you didn't have to call?"
Allison came dangerously close to rolling her eyes. "I didn't think it would be that big a deal."
"Well I've got an update for ya. It's a huge deal." He paused to close his eyes and shake his head. "You know the rules and you decided to disregard them. You won't be going out again any time soon."
Ally looked absolutely scandalized. "How long?" She demanded.
"I don't know, I haven't decided yet. But rest assured it will be a good long while."
If looks could kill Jared would have done well to have had his affairs in order. His daughter stormed up the stairs and slammed her door with as much force as she thought she could get away with. ~
~ All mine
Friday, May 25, 2007
The falling out...
~ Wayne's face was getting redder in direct proportion to the escalating conversation.
"You're just jealous and you won't admit it!"
Ben, contrary to his usual composure during arguments, was remaining quite calm.
"What if I do admit it? That would prove you wrong."
Ben counted two beats of silence before Wayne seemed to decide that he'd actually heard right.
"What? How would that prove me wrong?"
"You said that I wouldn't admit that I was jealous, so if I did it would cast doubt on the rest of your argument as well."
This time there were at least four beats as Wayne glared at Ben's placid smile.
"No it wouldn't. That's stupid!"
Wayne turned on his heel and made for the door. Ben, always a fan of having the last word, murmured, "Says the loser."
He fancied he could see the carpet bunch up in front of Wayne as he skidded to a halt. He turned around very, very slowly.
"I'm going to walk out that door now and you're not going to say one more word because if you do I'm going to come back in here and I swear you'll wish I hadn't. Alright?"
Ben considered his options. Let Wayne go without finishing the argument in his favor or antagonize him further, possibly incurring the wrath of Debbie and making Wayne mad enough that he might not want to be friends anymore. Ben decided to let him go.
With at least a dozen rejoinders running through his head as he watched Wayne make his exit, that proved to be something easier said then done.
When the door was firmly shut and he had waited a minute for Wayne to leave earshot he reviewed his comebacks, chose the least mature of the lot, and yelled it at the empty room.
"Your mom!" ~
~ All mine
"You're just jealous and you won't admit it!"
Ben, contrary to his usual composure during arguments, was remaining quite calm.
"What if I do admit it? That would prove you wrong."
Ben counted two beats of silence before Wayne seemed to decide that he'd actually heard right.
"What? How would that prove me wrong?"
"You said that I wouldn't admit that I was jealous, so if I did it would cast doubt on the rest of your argument as well."
This time there were at least four beats as Wayne glared at Ben's placid smile.
"No it wouldn't. That's stupid!"
Wayne turned on his heel and made for the door. Ben, always a fan of having the last word, murmured, "Says the loser."
He fancied he could see the carpet bunch up in front of Wayne as he skidded to a halt. He turned around very, very slowly.
"I'm going to walk out that door now and you're not going to say one more word because if you do I'm going to come back in here and I swear you'll wish I hadn't. Alright?"
Ben considered his options. Let Wayne go without finishing the argument in his favor or antagonize him further, possibly incurring the wrath of Debbie and making Wayne mad enough that he might not want to be friends anymore. Ben decided to let him go.
With at least a dozen rejoinders running through his head as he watched Wayne make his exit, that proved to be something easier said then done.
When the door was firmly shut and he had waited a minute for Wayne to leave earshot he reviewed his comebacks, chose the least mature of the lot, and yelled it at the empty room.
"Your mom!" ~
~ All mine
Monday, May 21, 2007
That's just ridiculous...
~ Aiden paced the room compulsively. The dragon watched him. Adrasteia watched the dragon. Aiden knew well and good that he'd never had control of his life, lately though he could feel the tenuous resemblance of a grasp that he did have slipping out of his hands at an alarming rate. He halted suddenly, directly in front of the dragon.
"Why are you here? Why did you speak to me? Am I going crazy? Who sent you?" The dragon gazed at him seriously.
"You're a very lucky man you know."
"Lucky? Are you insane? Every bad thing that could possibly happen to me has!" The dragon raised one green, delicately feathered eyebrow."You're alive aren't you? Do you want to know why?"
Without a hint of sarcasm or bitterness Aiden guessed, "Because I'm to stupid to do myself in?" The dragon gave him a scathing look.
"No. You have survived thus far because, and only because I might add, Luck decided to mediate on your behalf. How could you not know this?"
If Aiden were not the type of man in possession of a good amount of seriously well-honed will power he would have rejoined with, "I don't believe in luck." or something else as deeply sacrilegious. It would have been honest, yes, but somehow he got the impression that it would also have been extraordinarily offensive to at least one individual present. That being the case, he kept his thoughts to himself. He'd never found the concept of luck all that compelling. The very foundation of it all insinuated that one would likely have good luck at some point in their life. That threw Aiden off right there.
"So luck mediated for me ey? How so exactly?"Aiden had always wondered if dragons could roll their eyes and for a second he thought he'd find out.
"Think Aiden! You were not in your house when it was razed. You were not is your last car when those two desperate bank robbers requisitioned it. You were not in the one before that when it was jerked into that wormhole." Aiden blinked. "You're family went on vacation the week the daycare had their gas leak. Mt St. Helens erupted one day, five hours and 13 minutes after you left the North face. You left early because you broke your leg remember? You had to wait 14 seconds for a urinal and consequently that power line fell on the car four places in front of yours. That was a plastic knife you stuck in the electrical outlet when you were two. That flight that you were bumped off of because it was full, causing you to spend Christmas in the airport, that flight was hijacked. Yes Aiden, all these years you've thought that the Universe was out to get you. Well you were right. But all these years Luck has been working night and day to keep you from shuffling off this mortal coil and you've not given him a second thought. What have you got to say about that?"
The dragon waited. Aiden simply stared at it, his expression as unreadable as bicycle assembly instructions to a sleep deprived drunk man. The moment stretched long. Suddenly Aiden began to laugh. Not a pleasant, friendly chuckle either, this was an abrupt, twisted, edging-towards-hysteria kind of laugh.
Aiden laughed for a very long time. He stopped, composed his features, wiped his eyes and said, "I understand now. It has all been made perfectly clear to me." The dragon looked pleased for just a moment. "I have finally gone off the deep end and you, my fine jade friend, are a figment of my imagination." The dragon looked hurt and scandalized.
"That's not true. I'm afraid mental illness would be the easy way out."
"Nevertheless I'm going to take it. It's about time I got to go the "easy way". I'm going to eat dinner now and I sincerely hope that when I get back you'll be gone. I've had enough."
Adrasteia and the dragon watched silently as Aiden gathered keys, coat and wallet and left the room without giving either a second glance. ~
~ I made this!
"Why are you here? Why did you speak to me? Am I going crazy? Who sent you?" The dragon gazed at him seriously.
"You're a very lucky man you know."
"Lucky? Are you insane? Every bad thing that could possibly happen to me has!" The dragon raised one green, delicately feathered eyebrow."You're alive aren't you? Do you want to know why?"
Without a hint of sarcasm or bitterness Aiden guessed, "Because I'm to stupid to do myself in?" The dragon gave him a scathing look.
"No. You have survived thus far because, and only because I might add, Luck decided to mediate on your behalf. How could you not know this?"
If Aiden were not the type of man in possession of a good amount of seriously well-honed will power he would have rejoined with, "I don't believe in luck." or something else as deeply sacrilegious. It would have been honest, yes, but somehow he got the impression that it would also have been extraordinarily offensive to at least one individual present. That being the case, he kept his thoughts to himself. He'd never found the concept of luck all that compelling. The very foundation of it all insinuated that one would likely have good luck at some point in their life. That threw Aiden off right there.
"So luck mediated for me ey? How so exactly?"Aiden had always wondered if dragons could roll their eyes and for a second he thought he'd find out.
"Think Aiden! You were not in your house when it was razed. You were not is your last car when those two desperate bank robbers requisitioned it. You were not in the one before that when it was jerked into that wormhole." Aiden blinked. "You're family went on vacation the week the daycare had their gas leak. Mt St. Helens erupted one day, five hours and 13 minutes after you left the North face. You left early because you broke your leg remember? You had to wait 14 seconds for a urinal and consequently that power line fell on the car four places in front of yours. That was a plastic knife you stuck in the electrical outlet when you were two. That flight that you were bumped off of because it was full, causing you to spend Christmas in the airport, that flight was hijacked. Yes Aiden, all these years you've thought that the Universe was out to get you. Well you were right. But all these years Luck has been working night and day to keep you from shuffling off this mortal coil and you've not given him a second thought. What have you got to say about that?"
The dragon waited. Aiden simply stared at it, his expression as unreadable as bicycle assembly instructions to a sleep deprived drunk man. The moment stretched long. Suddenly Aiden began to laugh. Not a pleasant, friendly chuckle either, this was an abrupt, twisted, edging-towards-hysteria kind of laugh.
Aiden laughed for a very long time. He stopped, composed his features, wiped his eyes and said, "I understand now. It has all been made perfectly clear to me." The dragon looked pleased for just a moment. "I have finally gone off the deep end and you, my fine jade friend, are a figment of my imagination." The dragon looked hurt and scandalized.
"That's not true. I'm afraid mental illness would be the easy way out."
"Nevertheless I'm going to take it. It's about time I got to go the "easy way". I'm going to eat dinner now and I sincerely hope that when I get back you'll be gone. I've had enough."
Adrasteia and the dragon watched silently as Aiden gathered keys, coat and wallet and left the room without giving either a second glance. ~
~ I made this!
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