Sunday, July 29, 2007

Everything you ever didn't want to know about me...

Ok, wow this is long long long. I copied this list of so-called "confessions" from someone several months ago figuring that it would make a post for one of those times when I'm very bored and don't feel like actually putting effort into writing something. An "x" marks those things that I am/have/done/etc. You'll get the idea pretty fast I'm sure. You're a smart person.

[] I'm afraid of the quiet. (On the contrary, I'm rather a fan of quietude.)
[] I am really ticklish. (I don't think that I'm really ticklish. Somewhat ticklish yes, much more so as a child.)
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night. (I would prefer to see people before they see me, and thus would take the darker position if available, But I'm not obsessive about it.)
[] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Sorta?)
[] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[] I watch the news.
[] I own over 5 rap CDs. (Oh good gosh, when chickens have lips!)
[] I own something from Hot Topic. (I've passed it in the mall...)
[] I love Disney movies.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse sometimes (I have been known to utter the occasional expletive. Historically the majority of instances have had to do with my car or my school.)
[] I have "x"s in my screen name
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[] I love Spam. (Aaack, gag, choke.)
[x] I bake well.
[] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x]I have a job. (Since when is that a confession?)
[] I love Martha Stewart. (Lawd hep us, hep us all!)
[] I have loved someone. (I have loved lots of people and still, in fact, do. But I am assuming that this means been in love with someone, and I would hope that if I had, I would know it.)
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I despise it when people do that!!)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol (Communion wine counts right?)
[] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[] I have tried a cigarette. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day. In fact my pretend voice has suffered for it. I generally pretend to cough until about noon every day.)
[] I have smoked a pack in one day. (I've done a good bit of pretend smoking in my day...)
[] I loved Go Ask Alice. (I don't even know what that is.)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (What are you supposed to do? Throw away the surplus? Besides, sometimes people get random sore throats. It's something to keep on hand, like aspirin or Preparation H...)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have many scars. (A goodly number I suppose)
[] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (That depends. What kind of spider is it? A little harmless house spider or a big nasty, hirsute spider? Is it sitting peaceably in it's web up in the corner or is it roaming at large? So many variables...hard to say...)
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me. (I'm not sure how comfortable I could be being someone else, but then I have been someone else in dreams and I seemed quite comfortable. It is entirely possible that I would be comfortable being anybody...)
[] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[] Gotten lost in the city. (Turned around, yes. Lost, no.)
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Had a serious surgery. (Is the gallbladder removed serious?)
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a physical fight. (Heck yeah.)
[] Been arrested. (No, but I have ridden in a police car.)
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] Made out in an elevator.
[] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (I have kicked guys and from their reaction judged that it hurt. I have not kicked one in the testicles yet though.)
[] Been skydiving. (On the TTDBID list)
[] Been bungee jumping. (See above)
[x] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] Bitten someone. (I don't think I have....I might have...)
[] Been to Niagara Falls.
[] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Crashed into a car. (Not while I was driving, while I was a passenger once.)
[] Been to Japan. (On the list.)
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired. (Been begged to stay though.That's good for the ego, lemme tell ya.)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job. (Oh my goodness, in every job I've ever had it would have been so incredibly easy. Poor trusting fools...)
[] Gone on a blind date.
[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach. (Does blatant admiration/hero worship count?)
[] Been to Europe
[] Been married.
[] Gotten divorced. (I wanted to "x" this one just because the "been married" one was not checked.)
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[] Been to Canada.
[x] Been On A Plane. (I like that everything is capitalized for this one. I've also had control Of A Plane.)
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] Thrown up in a bar.
[] Eaten Sushi.
[] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed. (They call me Kamikaze but even I'm not that stupid. If I wanted to get killed I'd choose a less potentially painful mode of demise.)
[] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have
[x] Thought someone was interested in you
[] Mutually interested in that same person

And there ya have it folks! If you made it all the way down here I commend you. You have my respect. Maybe a little admiration thrown in for kicks. And a dash of awe to bring out the flavor.

Friday, July 20, 2007

You know what's funny?...

A lone penguin slipping on a banana peel on an ice shelf.

Recently (as in the past 2 days) I have been listening to some songs by a group called Aqua.
Are they a 90's dance/pop group? Yes.
Are their lyrics less then simplistic? Yes.
Are their songs packed full of sexual innuendos so transparent as to not even be entertaining? Yes.
Do they have catchy tunes? Yes.
Are a good number of their music videos on Youtube? Yes.

The ones that I like are Around the World (this is probably the best of them, and deviates from the double entendres template), Turn Back Time, Cartoon Heroes (very catchy, indeed), Roses are Red (inexplicably, it's almost annoying), and Barbie Girl is just plain entertaining. Apparently there was a lawsuit involving Mattel at some point. Fascinating.

In other news, in just a few short business days I should be receiving my very own, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, copy of the HBO series Band of Brothers. If you haven't seen it, I strongly urge you to make every attempt. Benji was kind enough to let me borrow his set for a couple weeks and they were good enough that I wanted my own. I am quite excited. It's a fantastic series, wonderfully done.

To you Regular Readers, I apologize for the lack of substantial posting of late. I know that this one little article about a band and a TV show is not exactly ground breaking, and certainly does not merit your patient, continued viewing of this site. But I still appreciate it immensely. And, hopefully, I will soon have time (not to mention a better subject) with which to write.
Until we meet again!

~ "Look Stan, maybe you don't realize what a moron you are but, as an objective observer, I can tell you that it is quite obnoxious. Insufferable even. In fact, I'm going to leave the room right now. No offense, it's just that you're an idiot, nothing personal now. No hard feelings right?" ~
~ Jared Evans, from the mind of Renee.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Hey, remember that time...

...we couldn't start a fire?

Ah, sweet memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages- ehem. Ok.

Once upon a time, so very long ago (last week), a couple of friends decided to start a fire. They wanted to sleep beside it outside underneath the twinkling stars. They wanted it to warm them and keep the bugs away. The friends gathered everything that they needed for their camp-out. The boy friends split lots of dry, dry wood with big axes. The girl friends gathered paper and cardboard and carrots and crisp bunches of hay.
The friends all congregated around the fire pit and went to work building the perfect cheery fire. But there was a problem. The crisp bunches of hay wouldn't stay lit. The cardboard and paper burned out without catching anything around them on fire. The dry, dry tinder didn't even singe. The carrots were no good at all.
One of the boy friends tried walking away from the fire pit, in case his aura was dousing the flames. It did no good. The other boy friend tried lighting alcohol hand sanitizer on fire and that did no good. It just burned right out.
20 minutes later, after many many failed attempts, one of the girl friends used up all of her allotment of talent and luck and expertise and pyro magic for that entire year and finally was able to get the fire to start burning.
The friends stacked lots of dry tinder and other flammable materials around their fire pit and soaked it with gasoline to make sure the fire didn't spread. Safety should always come first kids!

"You have no idea what this fire is incapable of!"
~ Brain Garwood

"Dear Pile of Flammable Things and Alcohol,
What the f**k!?
~ Brain Garwood

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Alone in a crowd...

~ Aiden entered the tiny cafe and did what he always did first. He stopped just inside the door and took a very deep breath. As always it smelled of coffee and chocolate and toasted bread and something else that always eluded him. Was it wood? A spice? Aiden never spent to long mulling over that, lest he ruin it by actually recognizing the scent.
It was a small place, tucked in between two buildings with a tiny sign out front that, though bad for hauling in more patron base, was good in the respect that the place was always quite, never crowded, and the people that were there you'd probably seen there many, many times before.
As it was such a long and narrow space the few seats near the bank of windows in the front were taken almost continually. Aiden was ok with that. He preferred to sit farther back, in one of the invitingly dim, by comparison at least, nooks or crannies. Today though he wasn't alone and not likely to want to sit in an isolated nook watching the world spin about him, while his own personal time stood still in its continuum. This time he went to one of the tables at the front, delicately sun splashed and miraculously uninhabited. He gestured Jacob to a chair.
“So what do you think? I've always liked this place. Found it by almost getting hit by a car.” Jacob glanced around and shot a charmingly casual smile at the cashier.
“Oh yeah? Nice place.”
The cashier blushed in an incredibly adolescent manner and went back to mixing the latte for the customer at the counter. She promptly messed up the order, blushed again and started over. Jacob tactfully didn't notice and scanned the large blackboard that the menu was scrawled on.

"So, what's good here?" ~
~ I made this!

Update: I am currently on page 16 of the would be manuscript. That is roughly a tenth of the size of an "average" novel. So far I think that it's going well. The pacing can be scary. The reassuring thing is that with the kind of format that I've used so far I think that I could go back and insert some additional scenes, should the central plot line end up shorter then I intended. I am constantly hit by tiny modules of panicked worry that this endeavor will not only come to nothing because of the fact that I am making a point of writing, but that I will also completely ruin the story because I rushed it. Hopefully I am wrong on both counts. I have gone back and rewritten one scene that I was not happy with. That was somewhat reassuring. Nothing is permanent.