Saturday, July 14, 2007

Hey, remember that time...

...we couldn't start a fire?

Ah, sweet memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages- ehem. Ok.

Once upon a time, so very long ago (last week), a couple of friends decided to start a fire. They wanted to sleep beside it outside underneath the twinkling stars. They wanted it to warm them and keep the bugs away. The friends gathered everything that they needed for their camp-out. The boy friends split lots of dry, dry wood with big axes. The girl friends gathered paper and cardboard and carrots and crisp bunches of hay.
The friends all congregated around the fire pit and went to work building the perfect cheery fire. But there was a problem. The crisp bunches of hay wouldn't stay lit. The cardboard and paper burned out without catching anything around them on fire. The dry, dry tinder didn't even singe. The carrots were no good at all.
One of the boy friends tried walking away from the fire pit, in case his aura was dousing the flames. It did no good. The other boy friend tried lighting alcohol hand sanitizer on fire and that did no good. It just burned right out.
20 minutes later, after many many failed attempts, one of the girl friends used up all of her allotment of talent and luck and expertise and pyro magic for that entire year and finally was able to get the fire to start burning.
The friends stacked lots of dry tinder and other flammable materials around their fire pit and soaked it with gasoline to make sure the fire didn't spread. Safety should always come first kids!

"You have no idea what this fire is incapable of!"
~ Brain Garwood

"Dear Pile of Flammable Things and Alcohol,
What the f**k!?
~ Brain Garwood


luckeyfrog said...

I think maybe one of the girl friends was actually not so much gathering things as laying near the fire pit wrapped up in a blanket. :) Haha.

Renee L. said...

I took a bit of artistic license obviously. I don't expressly remember gathering anything either. I may have carried a bag out... :)