Sunday, July 13, 2008

Here we go again...

So the other day I got in my car and went to my friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart in order to exchange some cash monies for physical supplies, and guess what I found when I got back out to the parking lot. No really, go ahead and guess. Did you guess a dent in the hood the size of a small dinner plate? Well you are correct!
Somebody jumped on my car! There were a couple of slightly dusty footprints, and that is how I know how my car happened to have its hood molested!
Somebody jumped on my car! How can you jump on somebody's car unintentionally? The answer: You can't! Jumping on something as big as a Toyota Corolla is, as a general rule, a premeditated action. Who says to themselves, "I believe that I will leap upon the bonnet of this automobile that is not under my ownership."?
There is a slight chance that whoever did it did not realize that they caused damage, but I imagine it probably went more like this:
"Ah f**k dude! You dented it! Hahaha! Nobody saw so let's get inside and get that Blue Moon and Cheez Whiz that we came here for!"

Human Race, I have a serious problem with you! Consider yourself on notice!

6 comments:

Benji said...

Maybe your vehicle was involved in a foot chase. The cops were pursuing a criminal and in his attempt to escape he ran across the hoods of various vehicles. It still doesn't make it right, but it gives a decent story. Be imaginative with it and you will have the best cocktail story ever.

Anonymous said...

ok, now bun, you know it was not me this time 'cause i am here and you are there. am wondering if some one hang-glide landed upon the hood, any shreds of canvas about the antenea?
where parked under a light pole that was being used as a bungee jumping take-off?
mom

Anonymous said...

mayhap the dent is someone's head imprint? the shoe prints would indicate that the owner of the head extracted his head from your hood by leverage in the traditional U-shaped- toes- beside- your- ears extraction method.
mom
geez hon what a bitch this is!

Paul Kuliniewicz said...

In America, you(r car) runs over pedestrian. In Soviet Russia, pedestrian runs over you(r car)!

luckeyfrog said...

Actually there were just some kids playing frisbee with a padded iron frisbee and it hit your car.

Oh, wait, uh, I don't know that...

Anonymous said...

You sound so like my daughter, now only if those rants could get out to the right people - they would maybe learn to use that head between their ears for something besides denting your car!