~ Wayne's face was getting redder in direct proportion to the escalating conversation.
"You're just jealous and you won't admit it!"
Ben, contrary to his usual composure during arguments, was remaining quite calm.
"What if I do admit it? That would prove you wrong."
Ben counted two beats of silence before Wayne seemed to decide that he'd actually heard right.
"What? How would that prove me wrong?"
"You said that I wouldn't admit that I was jealous, so if I did it would cast doubt on the rest of your argument as well."
This time there were at least four beats as Wayne glared at Ben's placid smile.
"No it wouldn't. That's stupid!"
Wayne turned on his heel and made for the door. Ben, always a fan of having the last word, murmured, "Says the loser."
He fancied he could see the carpet bunch up in front of Wayne as he skidded to a halt. He turned around very, very slowly.
"I'm going to walk out that door now and you're not going to say one more word because if you do I'm going to come back in here and I swear you'll wish I hadn't. Alright?"
Ben considered his options. Let Wayne go without finishing the argument in his favor or antagonize him further, possibly incurring the wrath of Debbie and making Wayne mad enough that he might not want to be friends anymore. Ben decided to let him go.
With at least a dozen rejoinders running through his head as he watched Wayne make his exit, that proved to be something easier said then done.
When the door was firmly shut and he had waited a minute for Wayne to leave earshot he reviewed his comebacks, chose the least mature of the lot, and yelled it at the empty room.
"Your mom!" ~
~ All mine
Friday, May 25, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
That's just ridiculous...
~ Aiden paced the room compulsively. The dragon watched him. Adrasteia watched the dragon. Aiden knew well and good that he'd never had control of his life, lately though he could feel the tenuous resemblance of a grasp that he did have slipping out of his hands at an alarming rate. He halted suddenly, directly in front of the dragon.
"Why are you here? Why did you speak to me? Am I going crazy? Who sent you?" The dragon gazed at him seriously.
"You're a very lucky man you know."
"Lucky? Are you insane? Every bad thing that could possibly happen to me has!" The dragon raised one green, delicately feathered eyebrow."You're alive aren't you? Do you want to know why?"
Without a hint of sarcasm or bitterness Aiden guessed, "Because I'm to stupid to do myself in?" The dragon gave him a scathing look.
"No. You have survived thus far because, and only because I might add, Luck decided to mediate on your behalf. How could you not know this?"
If Aiden were not the type of man in possession of a good amount of seriously well-honed will power he would have rejoined with, "I don't believe in luck." or something else as deeply sacrilegious. It would have been honest, yes, but somehow he got the impression that it would also have been extraordinarily offensive to at least one individual present. That being the case, he kept his thoughts to himself. He'd never found the concept of luck all that compelling. The very foundation of it all insinuated that one would likely have good luck at some point in their life. That threw Aiden off right there.
"So luck mediated for me ey? How so exactly?"Aiden had always wondered if dragons could roll their eyes and for a second he thought he'd find out.
"Think Aiden! You were not in your house when it was razed. You were not is your last car when those two desperate bank robbers requisitioned it. You were not in the one before that when it was jerked into that wormhole." Aiden blinked. "You're family went on vacation the week the daycare had their gas leak. Mt St. Helens erupted one day, five hours and 13 minutes after you left the North face. You left early because you broke your leg remember? You had to wait 14 seconds for a urinal and consequently that power line fell on the car four places in front of yours. That was a plastic knife you stuck in the electrical outlet when you were two. That flight that you were bumped off of because it was full, causing you to spend Christmas in the airport, that flight was hijacked. Yes Aiden, all these years you've thought that the Universe was out to get you. Well you were right. But all these years Luck has been working night and day to keep you from shuffling off this mortal coil and you've not given him a second thought. What have you got to say about that?"
The dragon waited. Aiden simply stared at it, his expression as unreadable as bicycle assembly instructions to a sleep deprived drunk man. The moment stretched long. Suddenly Aiden began to laugh. Not a pleasant, friendly chuckle either, this was an abrupt, twisted, edging-towards-hysteria kind of laugh.
Aiden laughed for a very long time. He stopped, composed his features, wiped his eyes and said, "I understand now. It has all been made perfectly clear to me." The dragon looked pleased for just a moment. "I have finally gone off the deep end and you, my fine jade friend, are a figment of my imagination." The dragon looked hurt and scandalized.
"That's not true. I'm afraid mental illness would be the easy way out."
"Nevertheless I'm going to take it. It's about time I got to go the "easy way". I'm going to eat dinner now and I sincerely hope that when I get back you'll be gone. I've had enough."
Adrasteia and the dragon watched silently as Aiden gathered keys, coat and wallet and left the room without giving either a second glance. ~
~ I made this!
"Why are you here? Why did you speak to me? Am I going crazy? Who sent you?" The dragon gazed at him seriously.
"You're a very lucky man you know."
"Lucky? Are you insane? Every bad thing that could possibly happen to me has!" The dragon raised one green, delicately feathered eyebrow."You're alive aren't you? Do you want to know why?"
Without a hint of sarcasm or bitterness Aiden guessed, "Because I'm to stupid to do myself in?" The dragon gave him a scathing look.
"No. You have survived thus far because, and only because I might add, Luck decided to mediate on your behalf. How could you not know this?"
If Aiden were not the type of man in possession of a good amount of seriously well-honed will power he would have rejoined with, "I don't believe in luck." or something else as deeply sacrilegious. It would have been honest, yes, but somehow he got the impression that it would also have been extraordinarily offensive to at least one individual present. That being the case, he kept his thoughts to himself. He'd never found the concept of luck all that compelling. The very foundation of it all insinuated that one would likely have good luck at some point in their life. That threw Aiden off right there.
"So luck mediated for me ey? How so exactly?"Aiden had always wondered if dragons could roll their eyes and for a second he thought he'd find out.
"Think Aiden! You were not in your house when it was razed. You were not is your last car when those two desperate bank robbers requisitioned it. You were not in the one before that when it was jerked into that wormhole." Aiden blinked. "You're family went on vacation the week the daycare had their gas leak. Mt St. Helens erupted one day, five hours and 13 minutes after you left the North face. You left early because you broke your leg remember? You had to wait 14 seconds for a urinal and consequently that power line fell on the car four places in front of yours. That was a plastic knife you stuck in the electrical outlet when you were two. That flight that you were bumped off of because it was full, causing you to spend Christmas in the airport, that flight was hijacked. Yes Aiden, all these years you've thought that the Universe was out to get you. Well you were right. But all these years Luck has been working night and day to keep you from shuffling off this mortal coil and you've not given him a second thought. What have you got to say about that?"
The dragon waited. Aiden simply stared at it, his expression as unreadable as bicycle assembly instructions to a sleep deprived drunk man. The moment stretched long. Suddenly Aiden began to laugh. Not a pleasant, friendly chuckle either, this was an abrupt, twisted, edging-towards-hysteria kind of laugh.
Aiden laughed for a very long time. He stopped, composed his features, wiped his eyes and said, "I understand now. It has all been made perfectly clear to me." The dragon looked pleased for just a moment. "I have finally gone off the deep end and you, my fine jade friend, are a figment of my imagination." The dragon looked hurt and scandalized.
"That's not true. I'm afraid mental illness would be the easy way out."
"Nevertheless I'm going to take it. It's about time I got to go the "easy way". I'm going to eat dinner now and I sincerely hope that when I get back you'll be gone. I've had enough."
Adrasteia and the dragon watched silently as Aiden gathered keys, coat and wallet and left the room without giving either a second glance. ~
~ I made this!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
The things I take as goals...
During this 4 week module I am in a psychology class. Here's the funny thing about that class: When you walk in the door, people look at you. The seats are situated in such a way (tables in a horseshoe type shape set on graduating lecture hall steps) that when you come in the door at the back of the class everyone has a chance to look at you without turning their head more then 90 degrees. So they do. This fact inspired me to take it as a personal challenge to walk in that door every day for the remaining 3 weeks of class embodying a different persona. The day before yesterday I was business-like, that's not hard at all. Yesterday I was shy, a bit more challenging. I have begun to compile a list of the moods/personalities that I plan to take on. (If you have any suggestions do speak up.)
Here's the kicker: I basically have about 20 feet to convey these. A couple seconds after I get to my seat the game is over, first of all because people are no longer looking at you so it doesn't matter, and secondly because I'm not interested in trying to act different for 2 hours and 10 minutes when all I'd really be doing is sitting there.
My hope is that I will be good enough that anyone walking behind me would see a marked change in my stance/aura as soon as I open that door, and anyone watching me enter from day to day would be confused.
The irony of the situation? It's a class on stereotypes.
Here's the kicker: I basically have about 20 feet to convey these. A couple seconds after I get to my seat the game is over, first of all because people are no longer looking at you so it doesn't matter, and secondly because I'm not interested in trying to act different for 2 hours and 10 minutes when all I'd really be doing is sitting there.
My hope is that I will be good enough that anyone walking behind me would see a marked change in my stance/aura as soon as I open that door, and anyone watching me enter from day to day would be confused.
The irony of the situation? It's a class on stereotypes.
Friday, May 18, 2007
The tempest cometh...
~ The wind forced leaves, skittering and scraping, across the worn paving stones in big noisy gusts. It was these kinds of wind, you instinctively knew, that were the harbingers of great thunderstorms. The sky, clear blue just hours before, was rapidly growing dark. The pallid and reluctant sunlight had a gray-green tint to it. The scent of the air brought an unbidden and frightening thrill to the stomach.
The Tempest cometh. ~
~ All mine
I think most of you know that I love the internet. With the passion of a zealot. I love the access if gives me to resources that I'd have a hard time coming up with on my own otherwise. Wouldn't ya know then that my connection is down. Possibly due to some new and fantastically efficient breed of spyware which my poor computer just didn't have a snowball's chance of handling. This being the case I am now conducting all internet business that I have in a computer lab and am now going to try three different brands of virus scanner to see if we can't oust the little bugger. Oh technology, I hardly knew thee...
The Tempest cometh. ~
~ All mine
I think most of you know that I love the internet. With the passion of a zealot. I love the access if gives me to resources that I'd have a hard time coming up with on my own otherwise. Wouldn't ya know then that my connection is down. Possibly due to some new and fantastically efficient breed of spyware which my poor computer just didn't have a snowball's chance of handling. This being the case I am now conducting all internet business that I have in a computer lab and am now going to try three different brands of virus scanner to see if we can't oust the little bugger. Oh technology, I hardly knew thee...
Monday, May 14, 2007
The dream quest...
~ Trepidation filled me as we neared the forest's boundary. I stared down the path, willing my eyes to adjust to the profound blackness within. Suspicion and fear lurked in shadow form.
I switched on my flashlight briefly, testing it. A short moment of reassuring brightness was followed by an almost imperceptible dimming. I didn't know who I was trying to fool, these batteries wouldn't last long.
The path dipped close to the water, well worn, but disconcertingly rutted. This had to be done.
I stepped into darkness's embrace. ~
~ From my world
I switched on my flashlight briefly, testing it. A short moment of reassuring brightness was followed by an almost imperceptible dimming. I didn't know who I was trying to fool, these batteries wouldn't last long.
The path dipped close to the water, well worn, but disconcertingly rutted. This had to be done.
I stepped into darkness's embrace. ~
~ From my world
Friday, May 11, 2007
A disturbing conversation...
~ "Master Diamon, a telephone call for you."
"Oh, thank you Phillip." Jacob took possession of the phone wondering if white gloves hadn't indeed gone out with the 30's. Not that he didn't like the staff to look spiffy, just seemed a bit starched. "Hello?"
"Jacob. What are you doing at Uncle Woodworth's? I've spent all day trying to track you down. Where are mom and dad?"
"Well it's good to hear from you again too Aiden!" The sarcasm dripping from Jacob's voice really should have been collected for the manufacture of artificial sweetener. "Come on bro, I haven't talked to you for weeks! If you must know right away, the pure and simple facts, unbuffered by any of the usual pleasantries or salutations, are these: I am staying at Uncle Woodworth's because he kindly agreed to put me up while I'm on holiday from university.
I couldn't reside at the family estate because mom and dad have leased it out while they are traveling to tour the Swiss Alps and taste beer in Germany.
You didn't know all of this sooner because I couldn't get ahold of you. I tried your house many a time."
Aiden contemplated what he'd been told. He vividly imagined a phone ringing heartily, buried somewhere deep in the midst of the decimated building materials that he'd called home for a short period of time.
Jacob, cheerfully oblivious, was the person to break that reverie.
"So listen, I'm gonna be coming to Mexico next week for some surfing, maybe I could nip back up to the States and hang out with you for a bit. Hey! I could finally see that house of yours! What's it been? A year since you moved in?"
There was a pause that must have been in it's second or third trimester.
"Jacob, have you talked to mom or dad at all in the last three days?"
"No, not since they left." Jacob admitted lightheartedly. "Why? What's up?" For the first time a tiny element of doubt insinuated itself into his voice.
"My house is gone Jacob."
"Gone? What do you mean gone? You sold it?"
"No...It exploded."
"My gosh! Are you alright? You weren't in it when it happened were you? Of course not, you'd be dead. I mean...My gosh."
"I'm fine. I was in the driveway."
A little shiver ran up Jacob's spine. Aiden sounded like he was talking about the weather. Sounded like he'd been expecting this to happen.
"Well what are you going to do? Where are you now?"
"I'm currently sleeping at a hotel. I'm going to wait for the insurance claim to go through and then I imagine I'll find another place to live."
There was another pause and Aiden wondered what Jacob was thinking. He found out soon enough.
"Well that sounds just bully Aiden. Creative as well. Totally off the wall really. However did you come up with that?"
"You've no call for sarcasm Jacob. Unless you have a better plan then mine. Do you?"
Aiden's voice was completely level, so level water would have pooled on it, but Jacob could easily imagine the irritated look on his face. It wouldn't be obvious. If you didn't know him you might miss it. If you did know him though, it would hit you like the proverbial ton of bricks. Jacob knew that Aiden was nearing his limit and so reigned in his shock and curiosity accordingly. Aiden was unflappable, yes. Immune to trauma, no.
"Sorry Aiden. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything you need?"
"What I need you can't give me Jake, but thanks for offering."
Aiden sounded tired. Tired and alone. And he was. ~
~ Me again
"Oh, thank you Phillip." Jacob took possession of the phone wondering if white gloves hadn't indeed gone out with the 30's. Not that he didn't like the staff to look spiffy, just seemed a bit starched. "Hello?"
"Jacob. What are you doing at Uncle Woodworth's? I've spent all day trying to track you down. Where are mom and dad?"
"Well it's good to hear from you again too Aiden!" The sarcasm dripping from Jacob's voice really should have been collected for the manufacture of artificial sweetener. "Come on bro, I haven't talked to you for weeks! If you must know right away, the pure and simple facts, unbuffered by any of the usual pleasantries or salutations, are these: I am staying at Uncle Woodworth's because he kindly agreed to put me up while I'm on holiday from university.
I couldn't reside at the family estate because mom and dad have leased it out while they are traveling to tour the Swiss Alps and taste beer in Germany.
You didn't know all of this sooner because I couldn't get ahold of you. I tried your house many a time."
Aiden contemplated what he'd been told. He vividly imagined a phone ringing heartily, buried somewhere deep in the midst of the decimated building materials that he'd called home for a short period of time.
Jacob, cheerfully oblivious, was the person to break that reverie.
"So listen, I'm gonna be coming to Mexico next week for some surfing, maybe I could nip back up to the States and hang out with you for a bit. Hey! I could finally see that house of yours! What's it been? A year since you moved in?"
There was a pause that must have been in it's second or third trimester.
"Jacob, have you talked to mom or dad at all in the last three days?"
"No, not since they left." Jacob admitted lightheartedly. "Why? What's up?" For the first time a tiny element of doubt insinuated itself into his voice.
"My house is gone Jacob."
"Gone? What do you mean gone? You sold it?"
"No...It exploded."
"My gosh! Are you alright? You weren't in it when it happened were you? Of course not, you'd be dead. I mean...My gosh."
"I'm fine. I was in the driveway."
A little shiver ran up Jacob's spine. Aiden sounded like he was talking about the weather. Sounded like he'd been expecting this to happen.
"Well what are you going to do? Where are you now?"
"I'm currently sleeping at a hotel. I'm going to wait for the insurance claim to go through and then I imagine I'll find another place to live."
There was another pause and Aiden wondered what Jacob was thinking. He found out soon enough.
"Well that sounds just bully Aiden. Creative as well. Totally off the wall really. However did you come up with that?"
"You've no call for sarcasm Jacob. Unless you have a better plan then mine. Do you?"
Aiden's voice was completely level, so level water would have pooled on it, but Jacob could easily imagine the irritated look on his face. It wouldn't be obvious. If you didn't know him you might miss it. If you did know him though, it would hit you like the proverbial ton of bricks. Jacob knew that Aiden was nearing his limit and so reigned in his shock and curiosity accordingly. Aiden was unflappable, yes. Immune to trauma, no.
"Sorry Aiden. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything you need?"
"What I need you can't give me Jake, but thanks for offering."
Aiden sounded tired. Tired and alone. And he was. ~
~ Me again
Wanderings in the dark of the night...
Do you ever have a moment when you feel so connected to the world? That for a second the universe is completely surreal and either you have it wrapped around your little finger or it has you? When you can feel the heart beat of the earth all around you. The pulse of all humanity and nature throbbing beneath your feet. In that moment you'd believe in anything. You could fly if you wanted. You are a child of Gaea and she loves you.
Sometimes it induces introspection, sometimes the absolute abandonment of all things personal. Sometimes the moment is gone as quickly as it struck you.
They say that the sane are those who wonder if they're insane. What of those who embrace insanity?
In an infirm world the whole are the strange ones.
Sometimes it induces introspection, sometimes the absolute abandonment of all things personal. Sometimes the moment is gone as quickly as it struck you.
They say that the sane are those who wonder if they're insane. What of those who embrace insanity?
In an infirm world the whole are the strange ones.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The unavoidable encounter...
~ When Aiden walked through the door Adrasteia was already alert. He'd brought something back with him.
Aiden pulled the dragon, once again still, from his pocket and set it on the table. Adrasteia leapt up, all business, wiry muscle and fluid iron determination. She looked it over carefully, sniffed it from all angles and gave it a push with one paw. Just as Aiden began thinking that maybe the decorative item would remain a decorative item, he heard the voice again.
"Peace Guardian Adrasteia, Sacred Keeper I mean your charge no harm."
Aiden's jaw dropped as he watched his cat consider the words, apparently weighing their honesty, glance at him, and then retire to the windowsill.
The dragon's talons made little clinking noises as it walked across the polished tabletop. For being made of stone it actually moved quite gracefully, Aiden realized. ~
~ All mine.
Aiden pulled the dragon, once again still, from his pocket and set it on the table. Adrasteia leapt up, all business, wiry muscle and fluid iron determination. She looked it over carefully, sniffed it from all angles and gave it a push with one paw. Just as Aiden began thinking that maybe the decorative item would remain a decorative item, he heard the voice again.
"Peace Guardian Adrasteia, Sacred Keeper I mean your charge no harm."
Aiden's jaw dropped as he watched his cat consider the words, apparently weighing their honesty, glance at him, and then retire to the windowsill.
The dragon's talons made little clinking noises as it walked across the polished tabletop. For being made of stone it actually moved quite gracefully, Aiden realized. ~
~ All mine.
Friday, May 04, 2007
A fortuitous talent...
~ As men go Jacob Diamon was noticeably unspectacular, a talent that he'd used to his advantage many a time, particularly as a young schoolboy.
Unknowingly aiding towards those same ends his older brother Aiden was all to noticeable, accentuating Jacob's "blendability" just that much more. With the trouble Aiden had had in school, Jacob's reliable B and C record and habit of, in general, simply staying under the radar was something of a relief to their parents.
It wasn't that Aiden was slow or intentionally disruptive. He had always carefully maintained his position at or near the top of the class. Always been respectful and undemonstrative. No, it was more the case that everyone, fellow students and teachers alike, were disturbed by his unnaturally calm, imperturbable air. That, and things always happened around him. Strange things. Unexplainable things.
Jacob, and in fact most of the people surrounding his big brother, never once actually believed that Aiden was responsible for the unusual goings on, you couldn't help but wonder after the correlation though. Who else had bike tires, completely new ones, that went flat every single day by the time class was out through the entire 4th, 5th and 6th grades? As with everything else Aiden met this with unfailing resignation. He carried a tire pump in his backpack. ~
~ I made this!
Unknowingly aiding towards those same ends his older brother Aiden was all to noticeable, accentuating Jacob's "blendability" just that much more. With the trouble Aiden had had in school, Jacob's reliable B and C record and habit of, in general, simply staying under the radar was something of a relief to their parents.
It wasn't that Aiden was slow or intentionally disruptive. He had always carefully maintained his position at or near the top of the class. Always been respectful and undemonstrative. No, it was more the case that everyone, fellow students and teachers alike, were disturbed by his unnaturally calm, imperturbable air. That, and things always happened around him. Strange things. Unexplainable things.
Jacob, and in fact most of the people surrounding his big brother, never once actually believed that Aiden was responsible for the unusual goings on, you couldn't help but wonder after the correlation though. Who else had bike tires, completely new ones, that went flat every single day by the time class was out through the entire 4th, 5th and 6th grades? As with everything else Aiden met this with unfailing resignation. He carried a tire pump in his backpack. ~
~ I made this!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Something no smart housewife should do without...
..."What's that?" you're no doubt wondering. Well I'll tell you. But first, have you seen the music video for the song "Satisfaction" by Benny Benassi? No? Well then hurry and crank up that sound and click this link man! There's no time to waste! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDfR0aQaINc
There. You like that? I've no doubt. Leave those speakers turned up! Now click on this link. Don't ask questions! Just do it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqkASIHemeA
Yeah! Now we're talking ey!? Probably the best video to hit the tubes of the internets since sliced bread right? I concur without equivocation. I bet you're wondering who all those sexy men are aren't ya? They're friends of mine and members of an awesome group called the Ship of Fools.
Mad props to all of them for bopping about campus during Grand Prix weekend to film this, but especially to Stu for the idea of the production in the first place and his direction thereof and to Alex for his stellar editing work (was that sound syncing not flawless?). Love you guys!
Congratulations reader! If you've followed all instructions to the letter you have been inducted into the proud and vast ranks of those who have been witness to "Foolish Satisfaction" something that, indeed, no smart housewife should do without. Do share the experience with all your friends and relatives, you know they'll love it. Or be offended by it. A win/win situation really.
There. You like that? I've no doubt. Leave those speakers turned up! Now click on this link. Don't ask questions! Just do it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqkASIHemeA
Yeah! Now we're talking ey!? Probably the best video to hit the tubes of the internets since sliced bread right? I concur without equivocation. I bet you're wondering who all those sexy men are aren't ya? They're friends of mine and members of an awesome group called the Ship of Fools.
Mad props to all of them for bopping about campus during Grand Prix weekend to film this, but especially to Stu for the idea of the production in the first place and his direction thereof and to Alex for his stellar editing work (was that sound syncing not flawless?). Love you guys!
Congratulations reader! If you've followed all instructions to the letter you have been inducted into the proud and vast ranks of those who have been witness to "Foolish Satisfaction" something that, indeed, no smart housewife should do without. Do share the experience with all your friends and relatives, you know they'll love it. Or be offended by it. A win/win situation really.
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