For RTG...

This is something that I wrote at the beginning of spring semester and had not intended to share with anyone. It's still not an easy thing to face.
Waiting is the hardest thing on Earth to do.

I think I'll call it Aching Reprieve. Or perhaps The Price of Another Try.
~ I leave his office crying. Is it all joy? Certainly not. Celebrating the renewal of one dream but at the same time mourning the loss of another. Are the two even separable?
I am awash with unspeakable relief. I am distraught at the prospect of selling out for a second chance. How can I quit my dream? How can I not? The goal can lead to its own ruination.
I hadn't started crying until he gave me the good news. One word. I melt. After so very long on the razor's edge.
The darkness lifted, I glimpse the sun. A new twilight settles. I can hold back the tears no longer.
He tells me that I owe myself a second chance.
I still wonder if it's the subject or me.
Did I try hard enough? Was I just not giving my all?
Was the dream worth it?
Can I be happy?
And the doubt that lurks always in my mind:
Was I even capable of doing it?
Is this what I want? ~
~ From the life of Renee

I should pay Dr. Miller a visit...

Not for just anyone...

So the summer sessions are over and we are but days from the beginning of fall classes here at Purdue. Those of you that know me well will probably be aware of the fact that I usually don't take breaks well. Though I relish the lack of deadlines and work, I get bored easily. That having been said, I could easily deal with this little break lasting for another week or two. Still, even though I have been enjoying my short period of somnolence, I am a bit excited for the semester to begin. I'm gonna learn Spanish!
I'm also going to see the Dalai Lama in October. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to go all that badly, but then after talking to a couple people figured that, what the heck, it's probably not an opportunity that all that many people get, I might as well go for it. I also thought that $26 was not a bad price for enlightenment, but Ryan tells me that he doubts that enlightenment is included in the ticket price.
Speaking of prices, one of my more recent, and very salient goals is to save a goodly portion of money. That money will most likely go to one of three things. Those things would be: Music lessons, flying lessons, or investing. The problem being that I'm not sure which to go for. Allow me to present each case.

1) Music. I have always wanted to learn to play an instrument really well. The top contenders would be piano (not very portable, but wonderful), guitar (not my favorite instrument in the world, but portable, and I own one already), and last but not least, violin (portable, fantastically beautiful instrument, but possibly harder to learn).

2) Flying. Since I was a small child I've wanted to get my pilot's license and I have recently learned of Lafayette Aviation which happens to be headquartered at the Purdue Airport. A lesson or two a month would be fantastic! With 10-20 hours I could have my license.

3) Investing. I've always considered it a smart thing to do, especially if you start early. I'd love to be putting money away (and having it earn oodles of interest hopefully) before I hit 25. If I choose to go that route it could happen before I hit 23.

So, people who know me, thoughts?


"Wow! That is some strong gum." ~ Moi
"It's like chewing on a lavender bush!" ~ The Rex

Try the new Trident Wild Blueberry Twist!

Something new and different...

~ Jaden McAllister slipped the knife back into it's sheath and finished pulling the ropes from his ankles. He didn't know why the heck he'd been left his dagger, or why his hands had been tied so loosely for that matter, but he got the impression that he'd find out quite soon. To soon.
A short panel in the wall began to slide open and he smoothly came to his feet. Disconcerting scratching noises were coming from the other side of the quickly widening gap.
He used his last free second to scan the room again. Nothing to take cover behind, nothing to climb. Jaden once again unsheathed his dagger. Looked like he would have to stand and fight.
A lioness came gliding out of the little door, as silent as a shadow, hugging the wall. The opening closed behind her as she circled Jaden. He turned with her, his thoughts racing.
'What is this, the dark ages? Am I to be martyred? What's next? A gladiator match? I can't kill this, it's a protected species!'
Just as Jaden decided that the lone lioness probably wouldn't attack him another panel began to grind open. His decision was split second and final.
Just as the second lioness slunk out to join the first Jaden ripped off his shirt and flung it up at the moving camera head high above that had been tracking him all this time, hoping to God that it would catch on something. With a silent Hail Mary on his lips, Jaden threw himself at his only hope for escape.
What he heard behind him was the scuffling of the lionesses who had deduced the escape plan of their only potential prey and had decided to make a last ditch effort at conquest. The muffled bump of the panel closing shut them off abruptly, leaving Jaden in absolute darkness. He groped around himself to try and establish bearings. He could feel the blood thudding in his face and neck and realized that he was breathing quite hard. He felt hot all over and his bare chest was slick with sweat.
Knife still to hand he began crawling along the tunnel he'd dived into. It turned out to be quite succinct, ending perhaps eight feet later in a cool metal door. He ran his hands over and around it. No handle, no gaps.
It occurred to Jaden that he'd be royally screwed if another lioness was let through this way.
'Or if they let the two in the room back in', the voice of logic reminded him dismally.
"Well this is just fan-damn-tastic." He said aloud. ~
~ It's all me baby.