So I grew a set...

...Well not so much grew a set as found a set on the sidewalk. That's right, you heard me correctly. I have balls now. Sit down, let me tell ya the story.
Last week I found a set of balls on the sidewalk. They are black and hairy. In all likelihood fallen from those goofy boots that girls wear with the little bits of fur hanging off them. When I saw them I got quite a kick out of the immediate thought "Oh! Someone's lost they're balls!" but left them there as I continued on to class.
Later that evening I told Jenny the story. She brought up the fact that I should have touched them. Then I could say that I grabbed somebody's hairy balls that day. At that moment I began to seriously regret my previous lack of action and determined in my heart to look for the balls when I passed that point the next day.
And I found them! My balls were still there, though a bit dirty and huddled in the snow off the edge of the sidewalk. I will not make any reference to shrinkage here. Oops, to late.
So anyway, I am now the happy owner of a fine pair of balls! Let me tell ya, I couldn't be more proud!

~ Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with your fist! ~