Monday, November 06, 2006

A bit of dream journaling... what I feel up to right now.

So this morning I woke up from a rather...interesting dream. I have often said that I almost never have nightmares. Occasionally I'll have disturbing dreams, and I'd call this one slightly disturbing. I did want to go back to sleep and see how it turned out though. Even my disturbing dreams I find rather fascinating. Part of the reason being that I get to experience things that I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

This particular dream began with my being on (as near as I can figure) an 1800's war ship. Now I must have been either a prisoner or an impressed crewman, because I definitely wasn't fighting on their side. One of the funny things about it is that through the entire dream I believe I played a female role. It would seem that of all my dreams where I'm a man this should have been one of them. I mean really, on a navy ship in the 1800's?
Anyway, I ended up accused of being a traitor. And I didn't deny it. By their definition I certainly was one. I mean heck, I was sabotaging the ship. There was a bit of a pseudo trial and I was sentenced by the captain to walk the plank. At some point during this part of the dream the captain started (or perhaps had always been?) morphing into my father (hehe, what's that tell ya Freud?), and the ship into our home. But I was still supposed to be killed, yes, at home, via walking the plank.
I didn't fight the sentence, simply set about getting my affairs in order. I know that I hoped that there was some way out, but in the mean time you might as well prepare for the worst. The most vivid part of this portion of the dream was when I decided that my mom (who was exhibiting sorrowful resignation funnily enough) should give my tennis shoes (and supposedly whatever else I had) to somebody that needed them. I would walk the plank in my leather moccasin slippers. (Looking back I'm not really sure why I couldn't walk the plank barefoot, dignity mayhaps?) I then went outside to fill up Tiger's water trough and apparently say goodbye to him. I felt bad because the trough was empty and I thought he'd probably been thirsty.
My first impression upon waking? Relief that it was just a dream. No, not because I didn't in fact die, but relief that it was just a dream that Tiger didn't have water.
Second impression, a wish to go back to sleep to see what happened.
I thought that throughout the dream I acted very much as a spy/prisoner/sabotager (is that a word?) should. I had no choice but to be on the ship, and I made the best of the opportunity by gosh. I also faced my inevitable fate with an icy calm and dignified composure.

That's why I like my dreams! It's just like watching a movie, except that you're in it and you feel everything.
And just like an actor, in my dreams I usually don't see things from the perspective of "Renee". More often then not I am someone else, quite often a man, as I referenced before.
That's quality entertainment!


Ryan said...

Clearly this is Ship of Fools related. The Ship, the pirates, etc.

Renee L. said...

Haha, funny you should say that. Last week I dreamed about the SoF three nights in a row.

Anonymous said...

Well having extensively studied Freud I can tell you the following, obviously you wanted to kill those aboard your ship including Father (classic complex thought reverse gendered.... perhaps you really were a male?) Helplessness....honor....and gaining control via practical shoes....water trough ect. Horses mean phallic ideas )if you know what I mean) ship represent change or travel, fathers mean phallic stuff too, wood objects (planks) or trees the same, war the same, homes the same (or entrapment)and I'm unsure as to watering troughs and shoes though shoes do represent female reproducting powers sometimes. Water can mean death, sperm(s), life, or birth. So....I'd say that anger with your father causes an "unnatural" tension (if you know what I mean) Which seeks many phallic ideas to sanction (sleeping around) and that your desire to control both yourself and the male phallic ideas and persons surrounding you is expressed in the unique capacity you have to create a baby and birth it. Which I might add you mentioned several posts ago.....Of course this is all rot.....I don't believe any word of it,,, however if you believe Freud that's his take on the matter. Which by the way if you deny, is infalable proof that it is true as your sub-conc. is resisting it. He really should have taken logic.

ChevronSeven said...

Uh hmmm... and how does that make you feel....

Ryan said...

I actually dreamed I went skiing with the Ship of Fools.

...Paul made me lose the game in my dream.