Monday, November 20, 2006

Everyone has their secrets I suppose...

So I was talking to a friend the other day about keeping a journal. Well actually it started with the discussion of journals in general. As he put it, and as I have always felt, there's something about a nice journal that is just majestic. There's so much potential there. The art of the written word, and I don't just mean the finished product of a book or a letter, I mean writing, the written language, is purely elegant. Naturally it's use in the conveyance of ideas is impressive, but I've always found the act of writing somehow intriguing.
But that's not really what I meant to talk about tonight. I was going to talk about my own peculiar journal keeping enigmas.
Traditionally my journals contain a very high percentage of random scenes. I find the potential of a good journal and a well-writing pen inspiring.
They also have a lot of dreams recorded in them as well though. I'm not a believer of dream interpretation, but mine are impressively strange at times and also serve as inspiration (even direct transcription a couple of times) for scenes or stories.
And then there's the personal stuff. Things I want to remember forever, and things that I'm thinking or feeling that I just want to write down. This blog also serves that purpose, but I'd say that my journal entries are somewhat darker. That is the place for things that I don't necessarily want the rest of the world to be reading (not just yet at any rate).
Today I surpassed even those bounds. I wrote something in it this morning, concerning a dream I had last night. Tonight when I couldn't sleep I picked up the journal to try and write for a while.
I felt as if that previous entry was adulterating the pages.
Simple act to take it out, tear it up and throw it away right? No. There was a reason I wrote it in there. The same reason I'm writing about it here. To talk about it. And possibly even to have a record of it. I did tear it out. But I folded it up and sealed it in an envelope. I'll probably throw it way, or burn it. I don't know.
I just thought it was funny that there are some things that I talk about openly which jive with the things that I write about on this blog, which slightly jive with the things that I write in my journal. And then there are the things that I don't even want on the pages of that.
I don't know that I will even post this entry. If I do, know that it is unedited and that I did it on a whim. For now I'm just going to save it.
Everyone has their secrets I suppose...

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