Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Bestseller list, here I come...

~ Jared lay on the floor, stunned. He’d felt the impact; he would have expected it to hurt, but all he could feel was the stinging burn on his palms where they’d gotten in between him and the rough concrete on his way down.
He saw his shirt, torn and stained, on the floor in front of him. His hand inched out, reaching feebly for it. Reaching for that little bit of his shredded dignity. Had he thought about it he would have realized that he probably couldn’t get it over his own head. He didn’t think about it.
Akbar and the guard each grabbed him by an arm and hauled him upright. Had he been able to take a breath, Jared would have screamed. He’d never in his life felt pain like this. He begged himself to blackout. At that moment in time Jared would have given his soul to the devil if only the searing pain shooting down his back would stop for two seconds.
After what seemed a short eternity the pain waned enough for Jared to realize that his lower back and legs were strangely numb. Icy panic hit him. He was paralyzed, he was sure of it. His mind raced, searching for a way out. He was completely helpless. Suddenly the images flashing through his mind stopped. Through the fog of agony the picture snapped into focus. It was his father, sitting in the nursing home. He looks up, he smiles. Today he remembers. Had they told him? Had the Agency told him anything about this?
With a start Jared returned to the present. The guard on his right was raising a short thick wooden club, just like the one Akbar, out of sheer rage, had cracked over the small of Jared’s back only moments ago.
He opened his mouth. His voice didn’t sound like his own. The club began descending.
“I love you dad.”
The thud of wood on bone, and the beautiful merciful darkness swallowed Jared again.
~It's me again, as if you couldn't have guessed.


Anonymous said...

Gee, Golly, if that isn't about the most emotionally charged thing I've read today, very nice work with Dad, perhaps expound on the effect that the news of Jare's capture would have on him. Also while what you have is good,might want to make the torture a tad less grandscale. The bit of research I did in to human rights abuses, told me this, the "best" torturers are the ones who cause the least "physical damage" ie you can get as much or more pain from breaking 1 finger then manipulating it, than by beating someone all over. It "exerts less strain on the interigater", is more effect, and you don't risk accidently killing your prisoner or rendering him comatose b4 you get what you want. You can then start breaking a finger on the other hand etc. after several days/weeks as an injury is not treated inflamation etc. does a marvelous job of inflicting pain. Sensory depravation, and waiting, also increase the magnetude, the key is in the mind/emotional explotation. Anyway that's what they say....Could bring the ultimate in....each man faced with the other being punished, this has long proven to be the most effective tool across times and culture.

Renee L. said...

Indeed, I agree with your points. Expecting to get hurt is quite the motivator. But! (you knew that was coming right?) I had decided long ago that Jared suffered some nerve damage in his back/left leg, and this happens to be how it came about.
Akbar is a good interrogator, I'll not deny that. He knows his stuff. But he's had this guy for weeks now (possibly months, I don't really know) and hasn't been able to get a thing out of him (they're at the point of just killing Jared because he's become a pain in the butt anyway. This is at the very very very tag end of Jared's captivity.) even though it's pretty obvious that he's some kind of an agent. A mighty suspicious character to put it plainly.
But yes, emotional pain, no comparison.

PS the other reason that I am very pleased with this (and in fact the last one before this one) is that I was sitting at the computer and decided I wanted to write something. And I did. And I think they turned out fantastic considering that I've always cranked out absolute junk when trying to do that before.

Anonymous said...

Well the write-on-demand gift? Good for you as Arnold would say, "I'm proud for you!". Yeah picked up right away on the the nerve damage thing...see I know you and them pretty good, and I also knew that is was towards the end of the period. Wasn't giving anything but constructive criticism as that is my assigned job (unpayed I might add) and giving you the benifit of information via my job as researcher (which will be payed in the future in the form of a dedication saying all the credit goes to ME grin) oh and a bitty bit, to that guy whats his name Benny? Keep up the good work as I understand that a great deal of it is needed to complete a bestseller. Have you decided on the method of their rescue/negociated release yet? I say a black ops complete w/ his delutions that they are the bad guys.
Ps you might get a call tonight from a smallish scientist who belabors the point that he "is not mad".
Oh 'pears Dr. Cousin is teaching this spring on the roster, and Dr Kov------ is not so guess that was a temp. thing. Students say that he makes Dr. C look stupid compared so ...you can imagine how intellegent he must be to achieve that.

Anonymous said...

You know what they say, those who can't...... advise/review/edit/research.